What a lender will accept and what is actually doable are two different things.

I once had a 70,000 household income in HCOL. That is $5800 gross per month.

I borrowed $216,000 at 9 percent. That is $1700 per month. Taxes $250 / month. Insurance $100 / month (earth quake insurance required in those days)

2050 / 5800 = 35 percent debt to gross income.

No kids. No other debt.

The banks and realtors convinced me I could afford this.

5 months into ownership I realize I was being lied to. My cash in the bank account was declining each month and I realized I had 4 months left.

I hustled a new job that brought household gross to $7900 / month.

2050 / 7900 = 26 percent.

After that I everything was better.