>phased out of eligibility for Roth IRA.

Look up “Backdoor Roth IRA”. Totally legit, it just involves a couple extra steps.

>I hear absolute horror stories about 403b plans

Some are fine. My Wife’s is through Fidelity and is super low cost. All depends on the employer and how much they want to spend to make sure their employees have a quality plan. The predatory ones are the employers who don’t want to spend anything