Comments
TheTreesMan t1_iy8a320 wrote
"No one asked for a hug because it would have been obscene, an aberration in the therapeutic practice of feeling sad and sorry for yourself in a place that will continue churning at a rapid clip no matter how you, an insignificant speck, happen to feel." Just be kind to one another. This is some writer bullshit.
spicytoastaficionado t1_iy8a3oo wrote
>It is my personal opinion that if you encounter a crying person on the train, your sole responsibility as a New Yorker is to do something sort of psycho in their general vicinity in order to compound the weepers’ sorrow and make a great story later on
LMAO
RecoveringFcukBoy t1_iy8a8gf wrote
Mind your business
- A New Yorker
bustedbuddha t1_iy8b56o wrote
No, leave them the fuck alone, and shut the fuck up, and don't make a thing of it.
DrinkCubaLibre t1_iy8ce5l wrote
Observe for signs of danger, if clear - give a simple gruff: "You good?"
If good, move on.
If not good, inquire further, provide coffee, and go about your day.
WolfMan889 t1_iy8d8kj wrote
lol no.
You don't stare, put your headphones back in, and be thankful it's not you today.
redditaccount71987 t1_iy8d9vx wrote
It depends ran into some folks wanting to talk and approaching me when I first got here. Some want to talk but as a rule of thumb it's best not to approach unless someone is in severe distress or appears to be in need of assistance. A lot of people are very aggressive.
againblahisnothere t1_iy8da8i wrote
No leave ‘‘em the fuck alone.
I remember the train ride after my dad died. If someone hugged me, I think I’d curse their ass out. Your shitty hug isn’t gonna bring back my dad. I don’t want strangers hugging me.
bottom t1_iy8dkcs wrote
Hells a road paved with good intentions- is a truly horrible expression
TheTreesMan t1_iy8dkok wrote
consent is key
DarkGemini1979 t1_iy8eaya wrote
The correct answer is mind your business.
*That said, there was one time I've ever made exception, and that was in the weeks following 9/11. It wasn't uncommon for folks to just break down and cry on the subway, standing in front of one of the many missing person walls, walking on the street...
It was the only time I would ask if they were okay or needed anything. The answer was often one of two things; they either just needed a minute, or they needed a shoulder. Was happy to give either.
CrazyinLull t1_iy8ezmh wrote
Once I saw a woman crying on the way Penn and I wasn’t sure what to do, but at the end of the day I left her alone. Think it was for the best.
stadiumjay t1_iy8fige wrote
I be like Yerrr!!! Yo you good? If it's just them having a bad day. Tell em oh I hear ya you be alright though stay strong. If they continue to rant just be like oh hey this is my stop. ✌🏾
Non_Drug_User t1_iy8fm2z wrote
Visible_Way_7069 t1_iy8fqti wrote
As a person who spent a few months in my 30s crying on the train after my brother died, this. All I wanted was for people to have the decency to leave the seat next to me empty on the LIRR. They did not.
famous_unicorn t1_iy8fu5k wrote
This is why I always carry tissues with me. If I see anyone crying I can pull them out and just ask them if they could use a tissue. It’s a kindness that needs nothing from the other person and every single time it’s been received well.
fredbutt t1_iy8g1nn wrote
One time I was crying on a random stoop on the uws after getting some frustrating, bad news. Another woman my age walked by, stopped and so genuinely and kindly asked if I was ok that it snapped me out of my meltdown. I don't know that I would do the same, outside of obvious injury, but I really was touched that a stranger stopped to check on me.
arrogant_ambassador t1_iy8gius wrote
I want to practice compassion in this scenario but I also don’t want to get stabbed.
mowotlarx t1_iy8gj7k wrote
I feel that. My mom died in the spring and I had a lot of weeping train moments. Thankfully everybody left me alone. I think wearing a mask helped make it less noticeable?
PettyAmoeba t1_iy8gkh0 wrote
Sometimes being kind is allowing someone privacy, instead of roping them into an awkward interaction with a stranger when they're already having a bad time.
Don't fuckin hug me, bro.
deepmindfulness t1_iy8gwy6 wrote
Nailed it. “You good” is New Yorker for, “Hey, I know how you feel, and I want you to know that humanity still exists, and as bad as it feels right now, I promise it’s temporary. And I’m happy to help (within limits) even though we’ve never met before, because you’re a human being you are deserving human kindness and care.
Also, if you’re weird, I’m gonna tell you to fuck.”
fuhgdat1019 t1_iy8h97u wrote
*The road to hell is paved…
Hell is a destination. The journey is my awful, treacherous life.
Downtown-Inflation13 t1_iy8i79v wrote
It’s okay to cry because that tells people you need some help and someone to talk to
markzuckerberg1234 t1_iy8i80y wrote
Hey, you go fuck right now mister
astral_lucidity t1_iy8izsz wrote
Keep it moving, ain’t nobody got time for that
sausalito8 t1_iy8j8uf wrote
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope you’re able to find comfort and support.
Iconoclast123 t1_iy8ju9b wrote
I would always go up to them and ask them what's going on (not 'are you okay?', but 'what's going on'). And talk to them. And give a hug if it was wanted/welcomed. The only time I would not do this is if they were giving off any kind of unsafe or very mentally ill vibes. And yes, I trust my instincts on this. And needless to say if they didn't want to talk I'd give them a good word and move on.
Berninz t1_iy8jvg2 wrote
LMFAO WTF OMG SO F’D. Love ya, NYC.
Berninz t1_iy8jzoa wrote
This is such a wonderful way of describing it.
faustianBM t1_iy8kejb wrote
"Avert your eyes!!"
"I....I was just gunna ask if you're ok....."
"I said avert your eyes!!"
Holly-Wood1 t1_iy8ksst wrote
I cry a lot but try not cry in front of others sometimes in car I cry but I wear my masks so it helps
Message_10 t1_iy8l1rc wrote
LOL last weekend in Prospect Park I saw a woman lying in the ground with her husband tending to her. She had turned her ankle or something like that. I was walking by with my son. I said “You good?” without slowing or looking like I was going to help and he said “Yeah we’re ok” and I was like “I’ll be back in 10 minutes and I’ll help you if you still need help.” I came back and he was gone.
I feel like NYers will give help if it’s really needed, but otherwise, we leave you to fix your own problems.
Later on I actually ended up at a birthday party with him and his wife! He was like “Thanks for your help, bro!” even though I didn’t do anything. I loved that.
Hummus_ForAll t1_iy8mol4 wrote
That is very sweet. I have been walking around crying, or on the subway crying, and I would have appreciated that kind interaction.
Hummus_ForAll t1_iy8mt15 wrote
This is the NY way!
Jgflight86 t1_iy8mv2j wrote
-
Take out phone.
-
Record emotionally distraught individual in public.
-
Add inane and callous commentary, bonus points for snickering under your breath.
-
Rake in those sweet, sweet tiktokky points.
-
Profit?
I did not read this article. Do not actually do this.
EagleFly_5 t1_iy8my2c wrote
Subway riding guide for me:
-
Mask: ✔️
-
Sunglasses/my favorite brand of aviators: 🕶️ ✔️
-
City/winter gloves: ✔️
-
Winter beanie + scarf: ✔️
-
AirPods: ✔️
-
Spare to-go size of Kleenex/tissues + to-go hand sanitizer: ✔️
-
Sufficient amount of $/MetroCard fare just in case to help someone (not often due to OMNY/current stage of pandemic): ✔️
-
A “keep to yourself” mantra to avoid complications sometimes: ✔️ (95% of the time)
Pretty much goes without fail most of the time, and yes, one or two times even we ourselves might be susceptible to pressure/sadness or panic attacks, (like myself once or twice a year even on a subway/the station), but it’s all about consent if you’d want to solicit help (same applies conversely), and it’s perfectly fine if no one wants to help, or if someone wants to accept the offer of help and give you some encouraging words at bare minimum. OTOH it’s completely understandable if someone’s hesitant in terms of helping a stranger, you can never be too certain these days given what can happen in the subway (whether above/below ground) worst case scenario.
Hopefully December & the rest of the year can be something to celebrate over, and find some positivity in our own lives.
neighborbozo t1_iy8nfpx wrote
We gentrifying acting like a New Yorker now?
_etcetera_etcetera t1_iy8nl4k wrote
I generally think that you should mind your own business. However once when I was in my 20’s, crying on the train, mascara running down my face, a woman just said to me, “He ain’t worth it” as she got off the train never looking at me or otherwise trying to interact. She was, of course, right. I still think of her from time to time and I’m grateful for her wisdom and compassion.
77ca88 t1_iy8o0jj wrote
My mom once saw a homeless teen girl with a sign sobbing in Times Square. She talked to her and gave her $20. She couldn’t stand the thought that it was someone’s child crying alone homeless. I thought this was a good response. (My mom also doesn’t give a fuck how homeless people spend $ she gives them either)
WinnieCerise t1_iy8o8x1 wrote
That was a tough week. People were crying all over. The gym, the trains, on line, walking. I’ll never forget that.
WinnieCerise t1_iy8olyp wrote
Not necessarily from random strangers though. MYOB.
DistantStorm-X t1_iy8osph wrote
Straight up. If someone is asking for help, legit looks like they they need it, and you can actually help them, please do.
Otherwise, Mind Ya Business.
garbagiolo t1_iy8pe44 wrote
I've also had a woman try to tell me a guy wasn't worth it when I cried on the subway - I was on the way back from Sloan Kettering visiting my terminally ill mother. She did not improve my day. People should, at the very least, not make assumptions about why a woman is crying.
iStealyournewspapers t1_iy8pgjp wrote
I actually did record a crying girl on the subway over ten years ago, and I do feel kinda bad about it now, but there was something beautiful about it, and how after a while the guy next to her offers her a tissue and she takes it and says thank you. The main reason I was filming though was because I was doing a project of subway people recordings, so anyone I found fascinating or weird would get recorded. This was back when I had an iPhone 4 and it was way easier to subtly film people around you while appearing to listen to music. I’d wear sunglasses too so I could appear to look one way but monitor the screen w my eyes. I have like over 200 videos and some are pretty crazy. One of the most amazing things was how you’d be filming one person, and then they get off the train, but then someone else just as interesting takes their place, or some crazier shit happens.
_etcetera_etcetera t1_iy8pozc wrote
Sorry that happened to you.
kstarkwasp t1_iy8qnp0 wrote
I swear this is the most new york thing ever hahaha oh you're crying? Well...don't mind me I'm just going to sit my ass down right here.
aspenfrank30 t1_iy8qzh3 wrote
Last year, I had a full on panic attack, weeping sobbing, choking on spit moment on my way to work. A fucking tourist (and I don't normally say "fucking tourist", I do like most of 'em) would not leave me alone. They asked if I was okay. Ok, fine, you're nice. I said yeah. Kept sobbing. Asked if I was sure. I said yeah. Offered to get me someone. I said, I am fine. Finally, snapped, told them to fuck off and they went back to their wife complaining about rude locals.
kstarkwasp t1_iy8r0a9 wrote
"the protagonist removed their headphones and asked if they could give the woman—who, as it turned out, had an aunt die recently—a hug. The pair embraced; some comforting words were exchanged"
If I was the person crying I'd be horrified. Like are you fucking crazy?
justthekoufax t1_iy8r9uk wrote
Best place to cry is the downstairs dining room at the 7th Ave Sabarro that overlooks the uptown 1 platform.
atari_Pro t1_iy8scxo wrote
I’ve seen my share of men/women crying in public. Most times they’re on the move so you can’t even interact, otherwise you just ask “you ok?” and limit your involvement as you have no clue what you’re stepping into unprepared.
I think the better and more practical application of being “NY Proud” is look out for your immediate neighbors. Get to know your upstairs, downstairs and bldg next door block mates. These are the people who will inevitably look out for you when your package goes missing or need help up/down the stairs with something big or heavy. A lot of NYCers find community at work or other social places and completely ignore the lonely abuelita living her last few years in their own building. Just my .02
frog_pajamas t1_iy8teho wrote
I once just plopped down on the edge of the flower bed crying at the median on park Ave and like 66th and some guy who was crossing the ave asked if I was alright and offered to give me the pint of ice cream from his grocery bag.
jonnycash11 t1_iy8toqt wrote
Sorry for your loss.
People probably thought it was a gimmick to keep the seat next to you empty.
idratherbeintamriel t1_iy8u07h wrote
Word! This article is very weird
eekamuse t1_iy8uplc wrote
I wish someone had given me a tissue. I ran out and was tryi g to unroll used tissues to use them again. Doesn't work
ciaogo t1_iy8uv2x wrote
Also the couple of days after the election results in ‘16. I remember a lot of sniffling and quiet crying. The first morning commute was super quiet intercut by sounds of ppl crying. We all minded our own business.
eekamuse t1_iy8uwck wrote
I give them the whole pack. One tissue won't last most subway cries. One pack won't, if it's serious
eekamuse t1_iy8v1fz wrote
Guypussy t1_iy8ve0g wrote
> I actually did record a crying girl on the subway over ten years ago, and I do feel kinda bad about it now, but there was something beautiful about it, and how after a while the guy next to her offers her a tissue
Jesus, dude, how long did you have your camera trained on her? “After a while” could’ve taken 10-15 minutes.
toTheNewLife t1_iy8w171 wrote
No eye contact. Never ever make eye contact.
Also, remember - no good deed ever goes unpunished.
toTheNewLife t1_iy8w991 wrote
That was an entirely different situation. We all needed to help each other get through that shit.
Gimme_The_Loot t1_iy8x2ao wrote
Bruh I got places to be and I'm tired.
​
Cry all you want my beats got noise cancellation.
WolfMan889 t1_iy8xq2w wrote
DO NOT PERCEIVE ME
evilmonkey853 t1_iy8xsmz wrote
She probably just didn't want to have to go to Penn Station.
GhoulishMartyr t1_iy8y0xf wrote
Damn it's crazy how many of us have been weeping on the train. I hide my face the best I can. I'm a ugly crier.
eyesRus t1_iy8ycg8 wrote
This is my move, as well.
g_lampa t1_iy903kp wrote
“I’d like to remind the people of New York City that this hugging and chatting business is usually not, in fact, what we do.”
Ugh. I hate this smug “New Yorkier than thou” attitude. Yes.. please remind we NY’ers about “what we do”. We all suddenly have major identity crises.
I do agree that leaving ppl alone is a best practice, but I’ll typically ask someone like that if they’re OK. They might need help! Lost cell phone; robbed, and need to make a call…that type of thing.
epolonsky t1_iy90odp wrote
The comforting person used the opportunity to pick the crying woman's pocket. Fortunately, the crying woman did the same.
iStealyournewspapers t1_iy90sew wrote
That’s how my recording sessions generally went. I’d most often record to or from work on the 6 from 86th st to Bleecker or back, so if they were on that whole time, they were probably getting filmed the whole time. I just checked and her video is about 13 mins long. Also i got it wrong and it was actually a lady standing up that handed her a tissue early on in the video, and the crying girl used it the whole time, and then at the very end as she gets to her stop she collects herself and apologizes to the guy next to her saying something like “im sorry, im so embarrassed”, and he’s just incredibly sweet to her and tells her it’s ok, and puts his hand on her shoulder as a comforting gesture. Pretty sure he was gay so it wasn’t anything to be creeped out by. Very touching moment. I get why people would be bothered by the fact that I recorded it, but in 100 years when we’re all dead if this clip is still out there somewhere, I think people would be glad it’s something they can watch. Like imagine if we could watch people for extended periods on trains before film cameras were a thing. Who doesn’t love that footage of NY in the early 20th century? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aohXOpKtns0
Also I think it’s even better when people have no idea they’re being filmed and they’re just behaving 100% naturally.
TommyPicklesScrwdrvr t1_iy91b9h wrote
"The main reason I was filming though was because I was doing a project of subway people recordings, so anyone I found fascinating or weird would get recorded. This was back when I had an iPhone 4 and it was way easier to subtly film people around you while appearing to listen to music. I’d wear sunglasses too so I could appear to look one way but monitor the screen w my eyes. I have like over 200 videos and some are pretty crazy."
- John Wilson
HowdyFrankenstein t1_iy93847 wrote
If you’re in Penn Station and NOT crying then you’re a sociopath
iStealyournewspapers t1_iy938xx wrote
Haha I just looked him up and I’ll have to check out his series. Sounds cool.
TommyPicklesScrwdrvr t1_iy93yn8 wrote
It's a great show. Whenever I'm down on living in NYC for whatever reason, watch an ep immediately cheers me up.
JFCGoOutside t1_iy9515l wrote
JFC. You mean back in the day when they had huge cameras on tripods and like ten people standing around and not some creep pretending they’re not filming you for a ‘project.’ I’ve seen a few people get confronted for doing shit like this on the train.
AnacharsisIV t1_iy95irk wrote
As a New Yorker I've sat in lots of bodily fluids on public transit seats. You think tears are gonna deter me?
Khutuck t1_iy95seq wrote
Absolutely. Last month I gave my place to an old lady in a supermarket (I was waiting for my food to be ready so I had time); she was very suspicious and didn’t want to accept so I had to say to her “I’m not a real New Yorker, I’m an immigrant”.
pleboverload t1_iy99nwv wrote
I usually mind my business, as I’d want to be ignored if crying or in a moment of emotional anguish (we all have our days).
That said, this weekend a friend and I saw a young girl crying on the street alone, late at night (after 2a) in the LES. Turns out she was underage and got ditched by a 22 year old douchebag. She explained she was Muslim and couldn’t return home without the jeans she left the house with (left at said dbag’s apt). My friend (a female) called her an Uber back to Queens and we helped her get her story straight as to what she’d tell her parents as we put her in the car. We made sure the driver would watch her walk inside before pulling off.
The sounds of her sobbing alone in 30° temps made us at least ask if she was ok. After we put her in her car we both felt like we saved a kid. Funnily enough earlier that night we saw an unattended empty stroller on the sidewalk and my friend asked me what I’d do if there was a baby in it. I shrugged and rolled my eyes before deciding that I’d anonymously drop it off at the nearest precinct.
iStealyournewspapers t1_iy9buqn wrote
I see you lack foresight. Also there are plenty of people in that old footage completely unaware that there’s a camera filming them.
Who fucking cares anyway? There are cameras filming us all the time and we don’t even know it. Everywhere you go in NY you’re being recorded by a camera you can’t see. So what? It’s not like I’m doing anything bad with the footage.
I’ve caught a couple people recording me for who knows what reason and I didn’t care. I look like a couple famous people so I suspect it was a foreigner who wasn’t sure but wanted to capture me just in case.
And your thing about being confronted is way more of a risk these days than it was back in 2009 or 2010 when I was doing this. A lot of people still didn’t have smart phones and people were far less worried about being recorded in public like they are today.
These days an incident happens and basically everyone watching can record it and post it online. So people feel more threatened by the idea now than they did then. Of the 200+ times I made a recording, not once did anyone confront me. I wouldn’t expect the same today, and that’s part of why I don’t bother with this sort of thing anymore. It had its day.
d4ng3rz0n3 t1_iy9cy7d wrote
LOL comparing 9/11 to Donald Trump winning the Presidency. Very nice
yojunie t1_iy9ebw8 wrote
I’ve had a rough year with an absolutely terrible work situation and then my grandmother died and then a few weeks later my mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness. So I’ve been weepy on the train a hell of a lot more than I ever thought possible. Only ever had one older lady sit next to me, offer a tissue, and gave my shoulder a squeeze. It felt nice, and the main thing was that she didn’t say anything or really look at me. Just a bit of support. Other than that just pretend like I don’t exist so I can pretend like no one is actually seeing me making a fool of myself in public.
Fantastic-Bug-2304 t1_iy9g8no wrote
MonteXristo t1_iy9gho3 wrote
😂 they really do think it’s just as bad
MonteXristo t1_iy9gpxb wrote
Keeping this for later
TwoFirmFeet t1_iy9h6f3 wrote
Give them a boneless pizza and an 2 liter Sprite straight up 🅱️
Jgflight86 t1_iy9k35g wrote
Your comments originally creeped me out, perhaps they still do a bit. Yet they gave me quite a lot to think about today; the nature of candid recordings/photography, art vs. documenting vs. surveillance, what is and isn't okay in a public setting, etc.
There's no denying that out in public we're on camera whether we want to be or not. It's just surprisingly interesting to read your reasoning and have me second guessing myself.
ArrogantElephant t1_iy9kknc wrote
Holy shit that's tone deaf
chale122 t1_iy9og92 wrote
a new yorker asking random people for help sounds like a scam
TheChangRR t1_iy9root wrote
“You good?”
iStealyournewspapers t1_iy9s15m wrote
Thanks for your balanced take on it. I admitted from the beginning that I feel a bit bad about it now. I don’t really regret it because for me it was part of my art practice, and it ultimately does no harm to the video’s subject if no one else sees it, but I still understand why someone might be bothered by the fact that I did it. Also back then I was like 22 and had a very different and less mature perspective on things. Seeing someone crying like that would just make me extremely sad now, whereas before I think I had more of that youthful lack of empathy that most people grow out of.
boommdcx t1_iy9udol wrote
MICKEY-MOUSES-DICK t1_iy9wjdj wrote
Anyone who doesn't fold their dollar slice cheese pizza in half to eat, is a sociopath.
jasmine24601 t1_iy9wuzh wrote
I cried buckets in public once after struggling with bad news, was totally ignored by everyone, but eventually ran into someone who I was acquainted with but usually never said hello to me. This time he said hello. He didn't ask me what's wrong, are you crying, etc., but to me that was enough of a kindness that I've never forgotten it.
Years ago, I spotted a young woman struggling not to cry while sitting alone in the McDonald's on 42nd Street. I honestly did want to say something but her body language emanated, leave me tf alone so I chickened out.
I felt like I was on that show "What Would You Do?" with John Quiñones. I wish I would have said something but I feel like you never know who's going to take it the wrong way.
SuffrnSuccotash t1_iy9wxl5 wrote
The day my dog died I burst out crying in the dog park while I was with my other dog. Some lady was like, “do you need a hug?” I was like “n,n,n,o,o,o,o,o th,th,thank y-ou” as I recoiled at the thought
JoeyZXD t1_iy9ym16 wrote
I was walking down 31st street in Astoria and dude walked up to me and said, "Yo can I ask you something?" and I just crossed the street on a green light
StormySands t1_iy9zkjm wrote
The only time I've ever wept openly in public on the subway. The only reason why I felt comfortable doing it was because I was totally sure I would be completely undisturbed. Thankfully I was correct.
MedicineOutrageous13 t1_iya294p wrote
Been here. Too many times to count. Being left alone is always the way.
theelljar t1_iya2xan wrote
i feel like it's more rare not to have wept on a train lol
absofruitly202 t1_iya3ztn wrote
I go through a flash of several strong emotions on my way to work about once a week. Happiness, saddness, anxiety, peace and unrest. If anyone saw my face im sure id look crazy. Im happy nobody bothers me in those moments
arbrady t1_iya6rjd wrote
Thanks, gonna give this one a try.
wookietennis t1_iyafq0u wrote
You good? Ok then.
wookietennis t1_iyag6qc wrote
Crying “in” H Mart. And yes that book is great and a Japanese Breakfast rocks.
Austintatious_ t1_iyah3km wrote
I’ve been the cryer and I always appreciated the tissue. I did not plan on crying and was I’ll prepared
metz270 t1_iyakx1i wrote
It wasn’t even close to 9/11, but fwiw I do remember there being a different vibe that morning.
isthisactuallytrue t1_iyal45p wrote
Sorry about your mom. Path 2013 it was rough but then never cried on a train since.
SirGavBelcher t1_iyaoitf wrote
yeah i cry a lot even if im just on a walk and i just want to be left alone like la llorona
DingusTaargus t1_iyapdiq wrote
Mine-juh fuckin biznizz
CaroleBaskinsBurner t1_iyarj2a wrote
My wife (who isn't from NYC) makes fun of me because I instinctively fold any and all pizza, including Domino's and small frozen pizza slices. And I legitimately didn't know that wasn't a universal habit until a few months ago.
Jnunez7660 t1_iyatw86 wrote
Mind your business. It's none of your business. Only if they ask, should you help or you see them legitimately struggle. Otherwise, could be a scam.
Deathless_Marty t1_iyavpkm wrote
NYC wouldn’t recommend today’s version, has the best pizza though!
seenew t1_iyaw9wt wrote
way too much work to keep an empty seat when all it usually takes is a little bit of trash
ripstep1 t1_iyb4yhu wrote
Who gives a fuck? We all have places to be
moveshake t1_iyb5l8d wrote
Someone did this for me during my greatest subway cry and it was really nice
primetime_2018 t1_iyb630q wrote
That’s wholesome
crazyfloret t1_iyb77mn wrote
A decade ago I once was the weeping person due to a just happened bad breakup, at a PATH station enroute to Jersey City, during the holidays.
A lady who was with a group of friends came over to make chitchat, she didn't ask me why i was crying, nor if i was ok, just started chattering about how they just had all you can eat sushi and then invited me to go to karaoke with them. I went with them and it was a lot of fun and also made me feel so much better.
Iused2dosmack t1_iyb9qjn wrote
That’s pretty fucking cute
Iused2dosmack t1_iyb9vtc wrote
Not gonna lie, it’s pretty wild you always carry tissues in case you see any crying strangers while you’re out and about 😂
famous_unicorn t1_iybboth wrote
It’s just one reason I carry tissue with me. I also carry a Swiss Army knife with me because I’m convinced I’m going to save an animal that’s tangled in a piece of plastic with it. 😂
MaracujaBarracuda t1_iybeeg0 wrote
You obviously do not live in nyc. She’s not saying they are comparable in scale. She’s saying that those were two occasions in which a mood took the entire city and you could all feel it together. It’s a profound experience. A friend of mine who grew up in Israel in the 70s describes similar experiences during the war there.
Crying is not always the same mood or emotion.
The 9/11 crying was a profound collective grief, a deep heartbreak, immeasurable loss, and ongoing fear. People made eye contact with strangers and shared it together. It was comforting in a way. You never felt alone in it and had millions of people around you all the time who completely understood it. It’s hard to describe to people who weren’t there.
The 2016 election crying was different. It was shock, anger, fear, and some grief, though of a different quality than the 9/11 grief. But it was still a profound experience, to experience a mood publicly alongside millions of others who share it with you.
d4ng3rz0n3 t1_iybgrsj wrote
I lived in NYC for 6 years including during Trumps election and presidency. I was on the subway day he was elected.
Its an exaggeration. Shame on you and anyone who compares Trumps election to 9/11. Which you just did.
MaracujaBarracuda t1_iybhjqi wrote
I guess nuance isn’t your strong suit.
C_bells t1_iybip01 wrote
My mom died in 2015, and for some reason I found I could only cry while walking around on the streets or on the train.
I’d get home and stop crying. I guess it felt kind of boring or pointless to sit and cry at home.
I hate the idea of people noticing me upset, but absolutely love crying while walking around for some reason.
thesarchasm t1_iybk5g4 wrote
After the 2016 election results I was crying on the subway and a girl next to me silently handed me a tissue. It was the only good part of that day, and I will never forget that small act of kindness. Thank you for doing this.
jamflowoman t1_iybly6h wrote
The last time I really cried in public, multiple homeless people offered me cigarettes and general insults toward whoever I was crying about. It helped
the_sound_of_turtles t1_iybohfy wrote
LMAO this did not happen
bmercer18 t1_iybp9qv wrote
Spicy_Urine t1_iybs7p7 wrote
Why this location?
DemonGoddes t1_iybuwa2 wrote
100% this, tissue is a life saver esp with snot running everywhere. I would appreciate anyone handing me a tissue when I am crying, but prefer when they do not inquire into the reason.
trobrotv t1_iybveog wrote
You just blew my mind. I thought everyone did that too.
RecoveringFcukBoy t1_iybw65u wrote
Either hes trying to sell you something or ask for money either way, im not interested.
iStealyournewspapers t1_iybzuwy wrote
Omg this show is so good. Can’t thank you enough for alerting me to it!
pursuitofhappy t1_iyc12vv wrote
It’s a very surreal sight I’ve had a few times crossing a crowded street corner and one of the people walking from the opposite end just weeping but going forward and about their business.
[deleted] t1_iyc7g2l wrote
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KilSwtch2318 t1_iyc8jo6 wrote
You gotta fold the slice bro , NYC law
KilSwtch2318 t1_iyc8om0 wrote
Ok the regret when you actually ask them if they’re ok and they ask for money….😵💫😵💫😵💫🤪🤫🤫🤫🤫
NumberOneRussian t1_iyc8qtz wrote
If it's a woman, I'm not getting near that cause she's either gonna think I'm there to take advantage or she's a psycho trying to get attention. If it's a dude, I'm not gettin near that cause he's clearly not in a good place and might go from sad to violent at the drop of a hat. If it's anything in between, I'm not getting near that cause I probably don't know some farfetched rule about how to talk to them and they'll get me fired somehow. If it's a kid, I'm not getting near that for obvious reasons.
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The only time I'll address a crying is if it's someone chopping onions cause you can apparently fix that by chewing gum
PepperTheRad t1_iycihqr wrote
I feel like I have to boooooo this article.. what a waste of time reading this. if someone is crying you ask if they are ok. And yes, I’m a New Yorker, born and raised.
famous_unicorn t1_iycjlqj wrote
I've been working in the city since 2006 and it's happened to me at least 10 times or so. I've also offered tissues to people who were having a coughing fit (pre-covid) and once gave a woman who was really coughing an unopened bottle of water that I had. But that one was more of a group effort. About four of us were helping her in one way or another. I can't see that happening right now...I think the car would just clear out!
SugarMagnolia96 t1_iycm63q wrote
Just so you know, it’s illegal to carry a pocket knife on you in NYC. NYC has some of the strictest knife laws in the country. If you’re ever doing things that can result in a cop harassing you (which could just be walking down the street) it’s not a good idea to have a knife.
Ame_No_Uzume t1_iycpc0c wrote
I ain’t seen nothing and I ain’t hear nothing.
yam_candied t1_iycqqpq wrote
Just nyc tings. But seriously though ive cried in public bc i needed to be away from my house and knew that nobody would bother me or care if I was sobbing outside so it just depends
cmeleep t1_iycu03b wrote
Did he also offer you a spoon for you to eat it with, or was he just going to hand you a pint with no way to consume it?
Tatar_Kulchik t1_iyd6o4n wrote
exactly
Damn-it-Alex t1_iydac87 wrote
Came to say this😤
famous_unicorn t1_iydcrtr wrote
Good point. I’m good because its considered s multi tool with a blade of less that four inches and it’s not in view. But you are correct about strict knife laws in nyc.
Highfemmenyc t1_iyddcvm wrote
It overlooks the subway? Like you can see the subway platform from inside the sabarro? Is there a window?
lickedTators t1_iyddnep wrote
If you're sad enough you'll just lick your way through the pint.
famous_unicorn t1_iydfkk7 wrote
Mind your own business. 😂
frog_pajamas t1_iydfxyb wrote
Maybe he expected me to take it home? I declined. And that did kind of strike me later.
Onlyjordanones t1_iydkxn1 wrote
I always see people crying in nyc especially on 8th avenue between 9pm and 4am
justthekoufax t1_iydt3wf wrote
Yes that’s correct there’s a window that looks out on the Penn Station uptown 1 platform.
justthekoufax t1_iydtq3i wrote
It has it all:
-Shitty food
-Subterranean dining room of questionable cleanliness
-A few tourists
-View to the Penn Station uptown 1 platform and all its glory
-No one you know will see you
-Overall great place to cry about the decisions that brought you there
ProInvestCK t1_iyf1wso wrote
I cry every time I look at my electric bill
Swoah t1_iyf8meh wrote
It’s also Michael Scott’s favorite NY pizza joint
Chef-Inner t1_iy88sg9 wrote
Real New Yorkers tell you to mind your damn business