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twix4959 t1_j95yfu1 wrote

Reply to comment by dude707LoL in NYC… neighbor complaints by SquareShoulder2766

Only moms stop and chat in the hallways? In every building I’ve lived in I’ve definitely seen people of all ages chatting in the hallways with their neighbors or talking on the phone on the way to elevators at some point Or groups of young people leaving to go to bars and being loud. It’s not malicious but its part of living in an apt building.

Here’s the other thing with your comment: We can only go off the info that’s in the post. You made a ton of assumptions about noise. The person says she knows playing in the hall was wrong and isn’t allowed so they stopped. They’re trying to manage their kids noise when passing through the common areas but that’s not easy. I also don’t think it’s a requirement to scurry quietly through the hallways and wait for the elevator in silence. You’ve never once made any noise ever in your hallway? Do you tell people coming over to stop all conversation and wait until they’re in the lobby or your apt to start again? You’ve never accidentally dropped something in the hall that made noise maybe if your hands are full of groceries? When you moved in did you tell whoever was helping you not to make any noise at all?

They’re clearly frustrated / flustered so you telling them to be mindful of the noise is not helpful. They are mindful. That’s why they’re writing a post about it.

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[deleted] t1_j964xnj wrote

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twix4959 t1_j966h5u wrote

Could be. We only have the info in the post to go off of. But I’m on the board for my building and the complaints I get from people are insane (upstairs neighbor walks too loud, I saw one of the door men smoking a cigarette across the street so he may be smoking in the building, my neighbor didn’t smile at me in the hall so they are being hostile,etc) Especially folks who are home all day with not much else to do.

I mean the woman never said hello to her apparently either. I’ve definitely been in buildings where I never interacted with my neighbors so can’t draw much from that.

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[deleted] t1_j96cdit wrote

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[deleted] t1_j96evom wrote

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twix4959 t1_j96gfpc wrote

Yea it’s a really weird ownership structure pretty unique to nyc.

Noise complaints are the painful bc they’re so hard to verify. Like ok are you practicing dribbling for the bball team bc stop you can’t do that in here. But sometimes it’s well they pull their chairs out for dinner and it makes a noise and I have to say ok well I don’t know what to tell you bc that’s a totally reasonable thing to do at 7 pm in your own apt (this really happened and we offered to help them buy and put down a rug for the chairs…)

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dude707LoL t1_j97oua5 wrote

Ok Karen. You sound very touched by my comment. I suppose i know where you stand in this matter.

They are frustrated because someone complain about them. Before going off saying the other person is weird, they should really reflect on the way their family is impacting on others who share space.

I do talk in the hallway but with absolute inside voice. I definitely will not be having a 10-15 stop and chat in the hallway and let my kids play there. it's a bit intrusive to other people who share that hallway who would like to enjoy quietness instead.

Especially during covid lockdown this was a huge issue. I can hear everything people say in the hallway back when i used to live in an apartment block. I know what they had for lunch, how long they stayed at their in laws house on Sunday, when their kids are having a performance at school. I really think people should be more mindful of other people's peace and quiet in indoor spaces that are shared by many. From my experience, moms/women love doing the stop and chat most and the small talk is endless. And I'm also a woman btw, just not a fan of small talks especially in the hallway.

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twix4959 t1_j97tsta wrote

Lol ok aggressive responder. So I’m a man so I guess that makes me a Kevin.

Couple things: 1) they’re asking anonymously for advice in a forum so I don’t think you need to get offended on the complainers behalf. We have no idea who that person is. 2) they admitted playing in the hallway was wrong and said they’re working on being quiet with their kids when they go to the elevator so they are reflecting on their actions.

Ok and by your own admission you do chat in the hallway? How do you know it’s an inside voice and your voice isn’t carrying or whoever you’re talking tos voice isn’t carrying? You’ve never had guests over? Do they ever make noise coming in or out of your apt? Like I said earlier. I have young kids and we do our best but sometimes they make noise in the hall going to or from the elevator just like you do when you have these “whisper chats” you’re talking about.

I agree people should not be congregating and chatting in the hallway. If you’re having 10-15 people stop and chat in the hallway in your building talking about lunch then you should definitely complain. Unlike this scenario this person is being mindful of peace and quiet because they are saying they are trying to keep their kids quiet on the walk from the elevator and they seem to want to avoid another complaint.

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dude707LoL t1_j97vn75 wrote

Ok Kevin. The response you give is very typical of people with kids. Everyone should just make a concession for your children's sake.

I talk in the hallway while I walk with inside voice. In fact I make sure to almost whisper. And when I have people over, I wait to talk to them in the apartment. I keep it to a minimum because I understand how annoying it is for people who live in an apartment where your neighbors cannot stop yapping. I don't see the need to yap with whoever I'm with while in the hallway.

I think it's a waste of time talking to people like you. We will not agree on this subject. As I said in a previous message, just keep it down and do that right thing. You're not the center of attention here and people shouldn't have to live with your child related stress/issue/drama/joy.

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twix4959 t1_j97xxtq wrote

Ok first of all. I’m sorry this upsets you so much you have to resort to name calling

Second of all, you’re right that we’re not going to agree. You should angrily whisper about it the next time someone comes to visit your silent apt building.

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dude707LoL t1_j97znzn wrote

Yes I'm really fed up with entitled people with kids who think their kids are the bestest angels who can do no wrong.

I really enjoy the silence of my building now because my neighbors don't have kids.

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twix4959 t1_j97zqho wrote

Great- so it sounds like this isn’t an issue for you! But on behalf of other people living in nyc with kids I promise you most of us are doing our best to raise good kids and be respectful of our neighbors.

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