Farting in public in U.K requires license

But you said we needed additional vespene gas...

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This is some Monty Python Holy Grail shit right herrr… “as he farted in their general direction.”

So is farting on someone considered assault? If so I have a 9 year old who is going to be doing some serious time.

So in the Coprophelia world, the perp is what you would call a Windy City Tradesman and the cop would have been a Chicago Breezeater. People pay good money to pull that arrangement together. Its beautiful, actually.

If this catches on then I’m in serious trouble.

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He was trying to poop a lurker out of his ass

Maybe it was the smoking a joint while causing a car crash that got him in trouble and his attitude and actions didn't help.

I'm going to have to get my wife to sign a liability waiver or else I might be in the slammer

Screw the community work. Make them give a jail sentence. Appeal it and drag it out. the publicity of it won’t go away. But with enough ridicule the charges will be rescinded.

The US requires hairdressers to be licenced. The UK says ... They just cut your hair - why the fuck they need a licence. The US actually has far more licence requirements than the UK.

Please tell me these are real terms.

My old classmate wiped poop all over himself before a swat raid. It didn’t work, he still got arrested

The article is poorly and vaguely written, like so much of our newspaper output here.

It doesn't say that he got the 75 hours 'for' farting at a policeman - and I'd struggle to say what specific offense it would be, and - in order to be sentenced for the farting it would need to be an articulable, specific crime.

But he crashed a car - which isn't an offense in and of itself - and then blazed a joint in front of the police, which of course is.

If I were ascribing more intelligence to him than perhaps he deserves, I could contrive that he was driving stoned (which is considered a serious offense, particularly in light of the crash), and he concluded that by smoking in front of the police, he could claim that he was not stoned whilst driving, but that he became so afterwards. There's nothing to gain from the police doing a post-accident drug test under those circumstances as it won't fly in court for a drug-driving charge.

More likely though, he was just a belligerent bell-end and got what was coming.

🤓🤓 ummmm achsueally the us has more licenseshhh

Excuse me, you require more vespene gas. You must also construct additional pylons.

Breathe deep, it's just some food for thought. If there was one thing I learned during Operation cwal it was that you'll never get something for nothing.

Also, "show me the money" cause I couldn't work that one in to a sentence.

This is what comes to mind for me when the term "Uk man" is mentioned in an article.

to be fair, the cops pulled his finger

I had just left this article but came back to give you an uptick

Tell me about the Cleveland Steamer.

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Before the physical assault, he assaulted me verbally and stated “my mother was a hampster and my father smelled of elderberry” 😭😭😭

It’s like a Sandusky Steamroller, only a little less messy.

Its real if you believe they are. Thats all it takes.....-

It just says he was ordered by the cop, not a judge. Not sure that has any actual teeth but I don't know UK law.

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'Sheriff', in this particular context would be functionally the same as 'judge'. It's a bit strange how words here sometimes work when involving the legal system.

He should've flat out pooped his pants.