Submitted by marilyn_mansonv2 t3_10em3za in nottheonion
Comments
nihilt-jiltquist t1_j4sz3lk wrote
Those are dog inches, not human inches
asatrocker t1_j4tl3bu wrote
Divide by 7!
Remarkable_Coast_214 t1_j4tx5gw wrote
6 foot 8 = 80 inches
7! = 5040
80/5040 ≈ 0.016 inches
that's a tiny dog
heklaflow t1_j4ubeyc wrote
Tiny dog can have any lunch he wants.
Tricky-Engineering59 t1_j4vp3jf wrote
Because whatever he takes would be too small to notice.
3Cogs t1_j4w3h8o wrote
Alternative factorials.
Staticoli t1_j4x4nd9 wrote
Don't do that type of math. It's multiplied by 7. Divided by 7. Try 80/7 instead
Staticoli t1_j4x4occ wrote
Still fairly small
Player3th0mas t1_j4upop0 wrote
That's what I keep telling my partners
Yepsomething123 t1_j4vgarj wrote
So you're saying he's even bigger?!?!?
Pokeradar t1_j4unpak wrote
That’s about the size of Fenris Wolf from Thor Ragnarok
JTB696699 t1_j4t2ktu wrote
The article said that the officer left his lunch unguarded and nowhere does it say that someone told this good boy no, I see no crime.
perpetualstudent101 t1_j4uwc8j wrote
Sounds like entrapment
sneaky_squirrel t1_j4u4u9n wrote
I don't care if this good boy barks innocent, he should face the judge's bone and serve his time in tail.
This is a disgrace.
ProgressivelyIrate t1_j4siymo wrote
He looks innocent to me. Also, his whiskers tell me he’s got seniority
Esleeezy t1_j4tvi6y wrote
Yes he does! You’re innocent huh puppy! You were hungry huh? Yes you were! Yes you wweeeeerrrrrrr!! You need to groooow huh bubba!!! Yes you do!
VrinTheTerrible t1_j4rp4of wrote
NOT GUILTY, BEST BOY
munkee_dont t1_j4t0wh6 wrote
ADAGB
Gowlhunter t1_j4uo0fw wrote
Thanks for the giggle!
SnooOwls6140 t1_j4v3lgg wrote
Assigned Dog at Good Boy?
iddrinktothat t1_j4v556o wrote
All Dogs Are Good (Boys)
PuzzleheadedOne1428 t1_j4rozri wrote
How is this even on a legit CBS outlet?
Hndlbrrrrr t1_j4sf3s5 wrote
Copaganda. Police just trying to make us believe they won’t shoot your dog or you for looking at them a little twitchy.
BenMurray303 t1_j4tntqe wrote
But they give black kids toys that other people donated at Christmas.
jxj24 t1_j4ryvv2 wrote
Nothing else going on in the world today.
bearsheperd t1_j4simfp wrote
Sounds like good news!
gregyong t1_j4t6ccr wrote
Wernstrom!!
RawVeganGuru t1_j4ufrtn wrote
r/AteTheOnion
Elbynerual t1_j4rs7wy wrote
It's the internet
Narrow_Competition41 t1_j4s1c0u wrote
If the lunchbox doesn't fit, you must acquit! 😂
smallbusinessfunds t1_j4rw93i wrote
Wyandotte is a city in Wayne County in the U.S. state of Michigan with a population of 24,684 (2021)
Apparently there is no crime in Wyandotte and thus to ensure county, city, state and federal funding they had to make an arrest.
SkeletonEvan t1_j4sa0ts wrote
They also have something like the most bars and churches per capita, lots of fights on weekends but thats about it. As downriver trash myself, this is where to see peak white trash on any bar holiday
ihavenoclevername t1_j4skgzx wrote
I like Wyandotte a lot, especially the old bars and neighborhoods. But Whiskey’s is the only place I’ve ever been arms’ length from two bar fights in ten minutes.
Khyron_2500 t1_j4tqsqp wrote
I mean… it could be Melvindale?
ifrit05 t1_j4vmt9g wrote
I myself am a resident of the Dirty Dot. :)
OPtheOG t1_j4woap2 wrote
i moved to wyandotte right before covid and love it here but hearing “the dirty dot” makes me want to move
smallbusinessfunds t1_j4skpq5 wrote
As long as law enforcement is ok with multiple bar fights on friday nights and saturdays as a way to release all those pent up emotions and have prayer forgiveness on sunday morning it's all good.
Why mess up an outstanding record as the most crime free city when one can always pick on a hungry dog.
EaddyAcres t1_j4rus2c wrote
He was probably hungry, the picture shows an over 6ft dog, I bet it eats a lot. /s
[deleted] t1_j4x1etn wrote
[deleted]
KeyserSoze_IsAlive t1_j4s3thu wrote
The evidence sounds very shady. Ice needs to lawyer up.
Pristine-Choice-3507 t1_j4uccnr wrote
Ice can’t afford a lawyer. He’ll have to go in forma pauperis.
Isle_of_Dusty_Rhodes t1_j4rv85i wrote
You don't care about the thin blue line if you can's see colors.
xantous4201 t1_j4rror7 wrote
The only acceptable crime an officer can commit
SnooRobots3379 t1_j4sawos wrote
I actually think this is really cute and would 10/10 rather hear about this than Greta Thunberg or Andrew Tate.
ScionoftheDagda t1_j4ssfko wrote
Hence why it is on the news.
SnooRobots3379 t1_j4sufur wrote
This was in response to people questioning why it’s news. Try to keep up pussycat.
DaveOJ12 t1_j4t0hfm wrote
>Try to keep up pussycat.
People are certainly strange. I didn't know "pussycat" was an insult.
SnooRobots3379 t1_j4t1q8n wrote
So who is the strange one? You or me?
dummkauf t1_j4u2ezl wrote
Patiently waiting for the dog to post this in r/amitheasshole
😊
griftertm t1_j4uhd1d wrote
r/amithecloaca
VirulentGunk t1_j4t0mqa wrote
Man, that's ruff.
MadeFromNews t1_j4t0vty wrote
Imagine how upset the guy who lost his lunch was for this to make headlines. 😂
Pickles9878 t1_j4t8onn wrote
That's my city!
Megasdoux t1_j4tv0pf wrote
Bake him away toys.
SoleMolestor t1_j4tyf29 wrote
He must have had a ruff shift
Notsnowbound t1_j4t2wra wrote
Lies and slander!
Sparky_Buttons t1_j4tgag8 wrote
Ah Kommissar Rex strikes again!
whit4504 t1_j4twxdj wrote
So are we just completely gloss over that this reported crime occurred on Tuesday Jan 12? I literally had to check date of article bc last i checked there is no Tuesday Jan 12 this year. Can only assume typo but this is serious error in reporting. I expect bettor.
djshadesuk t1_j4u6ae2 wrote
Hope he gets a fair trial and not woof justice!
MistressErinPaid t1_j4uv6i2 wrote
No, the officer stole his lunch.
Inner_Art482 t1_j4rt57s wrote
Obviously he was hungry.
zedemer t1_j4sfu89 wrote
To the pound with him!
FUMFVR t1_j4tads7 wrote
I'm not hearing any definitive proof.
BenMurray303 t1_j4tnp9r wrote
According to Wyandotte Police Department, Officer Bartwig was eating lunch in the breakroom when he received a call to assist someone at the police department's jail. He left his lunch on the table to help.
Man, I really gotta wonder what sort of abuse this guy dealt out if it made him get up from his lunch.
Jsmith0730 t1_j4tyc57 wrote
It was the dog on the phone. He had to get him out of the room somehow.
TossPowerTrap t1_j4ttau3 wrote
This is the sort of story I used to read in the St. Cleve Chronicle.
[deleted] t1_j4ucn4m wrote
[removed]
GreedyOctopus t1_j4ukn5m wrote
Imagine seeing him hauled away in handcuffs.
StPauliToPortland t1_j5zd0mh wrote
*pawcuffs
papawam t1_j4uo4qi wrote
"There's no rules saying a dog CAN'T play basketball."
shakeyjaker t1_j4uprlu wrote
A dogs gotta eat, Mr. Lahey!
Outrageous_Fall_9568 t1_j4uwd7u wrote
Lock him up
west0ne t1_j4v3udn wrote
Right there is the next chief of police.
Senior-Sharpie t1_j4v8fy6 wrote
Lock her up, lock her up!
Farucci t1_j4vmd2s wrote
Looks innocent to me. . .
ARocknRollNerd t1_j4vvuvq wrote
There's an Angie Tribeca joke in here somewhere...
USMCTankerSgt t1_j4wdp4x wrote
Hilarious!
[deleted] t1_j4we8kw wrote
[removed]
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WatercressHead8021 t1_j55foki wrote
Was worried about getting defunded. Honing his police skills for when he’s on the street. Always uncertain where his next meal is coming from.
undercooked1234 t1_j4s7fkv wrote
The fuck is this?
therobotisjames t1_j4t4pj2 wrote
Surprised it’s still alive. Cops usually just shoot every dog they see.
wholewheatscythe t1_j4u911d wrote
Once again, dogs of color just get no justice!
connortheios t1_j4ujloo wrote
and now for an internal investigation that comes up with nothing and a paid leave for the dog
Pichardo83 t1_j4uksxb wrote
At least he didnt bang any co workers
ToastFromTexas t1_j4ut9s4 wrote
Currently on paid administrative leave pending investigation
IrocDewclaw t1_j4v8q8n wrote
Every day, another dirty cop getting away with his crimes.
blueskies1800 t1_j4savz4 wrote
Really? They can't be serious holding a dog accountable for human morals.
Shot-Spray5935 t1_j4skjh1 wrote
It's a police dog and cops can't steal. Lock it up in a dog house.
yellowcups77 t1_j4uthms wrote
Bro is on r/nottheonion and is taking a article seriously
Edit: wording
Tornado31619 t1_j4szvjg wrote
It’s a joke article.
formerPhillyguy t1_j4s3hyk wrote
That dog is HUGE! 6'8" sitting down. He can have any lunch he wants.