Submitted by JawaPunter t3_10bqlma in nottheonion
Comments
JawaPunter OP t1_j4bkm65 wrote
The correct response.
Fetlocks_Glistening t1_j4bkmvz wrote
It's an executive office in North America, I believe
NorthImpossible8906 t1_j4bladr wrote
"Rollan Roberts II, the son of West Virginia State Senator Rollan Roberts, has filed to run for President in 2024.
According to Roberts II’s website: “Rollan Roberts II is an American businessman, government advisor, and 2024 Republican candidate for President of the United States. He is married to Rebecca Lea Roberts, with whom they share one son, Rollan III, due July 2, 2023, and has 2 daughters (17 and 21) from a previous marriage."
Um, how about "DUE JULY 4, 2023!!!!"
That way you will get all the republicans to vote for you. USA USA USA
Tony_Bone t1_j4bo2ox wrote
Who is Rollan Roberts II. And why is this oniony
Mr_Vacant t1_j4boh55 wrote
Article says he's from West Virginia, uniform says he's from the Ohio State University Marching Band
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_j4bx9y5 wrote
All the real Americans know the Declaration was done being written on July 2nd and was just ratified on the 4th.
alzee76 t1_j4byfns wrote
Trying to figure out what the "his excellency" stuff is about and it's rendering the article a bit suspicious.
> According to Roberts II’s website: “Rollan Roberts II is an American businessman, government advisor, and 2024 Republican candidate for President of the United States
The only place google turns up the phrase American businessman, government advisor, and 2024 Republican candidate for President of the United States is this article, and they don't actually link to his homepage of his. No other photos of him in this getup either. RIS for it just turns up a bunch of historic military dress uniforms.
ETA:
No photos of him doing cosplay here I could find. The origin of the title is explained though:
> He was given the African diplomatic designation of His Excellency as Peace Ambassador to Nations from the International College of Peace Studies.
"International College of Peace Studies" smells like a sort of religious circle jerk that exists solely to offer "training" to members who belong to an affiliated church, with an impressive sounding name slapped on it to try to buy some credibility.
JawaPunter OP t1_j4c1rqk wrote
I can verify he's a real person since his father was the principal at a school I went to. I'm not going to link his website but it's just his name .com without the II. As far as where his claims come from, I have no idea. That's what makes the article so Onion-like. No one's heard of this dude and he's pushing the excellency thing like it should be obvious.
JawaPunter OP t1_j4c2kyi wrote
I think it's oniony because no one knows who he is and he's announcing his candidacy as if he's royalty.
alzee76 t1_j4chhjk wrote
Ah ok, I will, there's no reason not to.. Thanks!
i_4m_me t1_j4cnxgt wrote
Glad someone posted about this...I was like WTF? Other take away..."they SHARE one son"...no they don't! She's doing all the work right now. It's pretty one sided until around July. I also love how the unborn's name is listed but the grown ass daughters "from a previous marriage" are not.
teplightyear t1_j4csgd5 wrote
I mean, he straight up advertises himself as the 'son of a state senator,' which kinda isn't that big a deal. That's a $20k/yr part time job in most states.
Chariots487 t1_j4e54m2 wrote
Some guy nobody's heard of announces that he's going to lose to either Trump or DeSantis. How is this even news, let alone oniony?
bigbangbilly t1_j4ejkh7 wrote
>uniform says he's from the Ohio State University Marching Band
I though the name make him sound like European royalty
hoothizz t1_j4jve9i wrote
Huh!
Tony_Bone t1_j4bk2jn wrote
Who?