Submitted by thesunbeamslook t3_zyjt1b in nottheonion
Comments
SelectiveSanity t1_j26a1vc wrote
Starring Henry Cavill.
SelectiveSanity t1_j26ahqm wrote
Real question, was it just theft or did it also involve destruction of company property?
violetsprouts t1_j26cuu3 wrote
Back up in your ass with the resurrection
[deleted] t1_j26efaf wrote
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NetDork t1_j26sobg wrote
Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
pickleer t1_j26cq79 wrote
Dipshits, the crime was inspired by "Superman III" and "Office Space" said this out loud!!
The technique is called Salami Slicing, where many small actions add up to a fat payoff.
More info (and plot mentions) here.
Mental_Cut8290 t1_j26yhsg wrote
It only matters which one influenced the person.
I say "grinds my gears" because I liked that bit on family guy, not because I hung around gear-heads in the '80s.
pickleer t1_j271p1x wrote
It only grinds my gears because the latest few generations don't value the width and breadth of sheer data and knowlege available to them and instead take the easy path when overwhelmed by all the options- knowledge is losing value by becoming too easy. All the jokers that come to reddit to ask a question they could just as easily (and more often, more reliably) answer with their own quick websearch bear out this premise.
And that phrase way, way predates Seth McFarlane, all of his genius, AND the 80's!
Mental_Cut8290 t1_j273snc wrote
Yeah, but I don't predate the '80s, so I'm not even going to bother suggesting that I was influenced by '50s greasers. And nobody but Mike Judge was ever influenced by Superman III.
pickleer t1_j27ccd0 wrote
Youth is wasted on the young!
pickleer t1_j27cgj1 wrote
And yeah, count the downvotes as each young'un reads this...
anevilsnail22 t1_j2a5mh7 wrote
I haven't seen that movie in like 15 years, because they used to play it on Comedy Central about every night, but I for some reason remember the Superman III thing. As soon as I saw this I thought it was a bit oniony maybe if you said inspired by Office Space which was inspired by Superman III, but still kind of a stretch. It's a completely logical way to steal money without being noticed.
Rocketman7171 t1_j26voua wrote
Sounds like someone might get sent to federal pound you in the … prison.
IntergalacticTrain t1_j2783py wrote
Article says he had his plan written out in a document on his laptop. That and actual boxes of stolen merchandise outside his front door (because stealing money apparently wasn't enough) make this the slammiest slam dunk case that ever got slammed. Lex Luthor he is not.
mouse6502 t1_j27th6b wrote
Almost as stupid as uploading a video trying to show you're a super baller with background room hardwood, big cigar, fluffy attire, and then having two cardboard pizza boxes shoved in frame proving your location
4Blu t1_j27tpv4 wrote
His fatal mistake was not burning the office down to cover his tracks.
DundermuffinX t1_j2bttji wrote
Stapler
HumpieDouglas t1_j27664e wrote
Check out channel 9 man, it's the breast examines, WOO!
DragonGarlicBreath t1_j26lh87 wrote
This is totally an aside, but I kind of love how the news site felt we needed to know where their company HQ is in Seattle. I mean, I actually have a frame of reference for it and appreciate it a little, but it really doesn't matter for the story.
Snufflepuffster t1_j26ouzy wrote
but what will evil Zulily do next?
Georgesgortexjacket t1_j27mnhn wrote
Gangster - don't forget your flair
WumpusFails t1_j278gmt wrote
Did they put the decimal point in the wrong place?
[deleted] t1_j27bsdt wrote
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joan_wilder t1_j27qgft wrote
Looks like he’s headed to a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Unclehomer69420 t1_j268pgg wrote
It's a Rashomon crime, because 'Office Space' was inspired by 'Superman III'!
Now all they need to do is make a movie about this crime, and it'll be a movie crime inspired by a movie crime inspired by a movie crime!