sexybimbogf t1_j0wmz8f wrote on December 19, 2022 at 11:34 PM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in Homeless man arrested for stealing excavator to help man change his tire in Downtown by Mr_Blite

AITA for trying to burn my son alive?

Alright so hear me out, I [M89] have been placed in charge of some land as a temporary leader until the ‘true leader’ returns, however I have come to enjoy my temporary position. Recently my son [M41] left to travel however he unfortunately passed away, and I am now stuck with his younger brother [M36] whom I have no affection for. An old man [M???], head to toe in a white robe, came to me in my home and tried to prepare me for an upcoming war, but I could tell his true intention was really to try and get me to step down so that this ‘true leader’ could return, however I did not want some homeless wanderer to take MY position and run the city I worked so hard for. Fast forward a bit and my son [M36] is ‘badly injured’ after I sent him to defend the city across from where I live, and now, there is a large battle taking place in MY city. I believed that he was dead and as a ceremonial tradition, I was going to burn him. My servant is a short person or a ‘halfling’ as people are saying nowadays. He has been trying to tell me that my son is still alive and that he’s ‘not dead’ but I didn’t believe him, so I dismissed him of his service. Anyways I tried to burn him and myself (as I believed the dark lord was going to win the battle) and the old man walks in, uninvited mind you, and knocks me off the burning pile. The ‘halfling’ ‘saves’ my son [M36] and I was then kicked back onto the pile, and while I was burning alive I noticed my son [M36] opened his eyes and was alive. I stormed out of the room and fell off the the top of the city, still on fire keep in mind. I’m typing this as I’m plummeting to my death but AITA?

[deleted] t1_j0wov3n wrote on December 19, 2022 at 11:47 PM

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sexybimbogf t1_j0xgwe4 wrote on December 20, 2022 at 3:21 AM

But they were all of them deceived, for another snowman was made. In the land of Snowdor, in the ice of Mount frost, the Ice Lord Frosty forged in secret, a master Snowman, to control all others. And into this snowman he poured all his frostiness, his cold and his will to freeze all life. One snowman to rule them all.

[deleted] t1_j0xh6sl wrote on December 20, 2022 at 3:23 AM

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sexybimbogf t1_j0xm50c wrote on December 20, 2022 at 4:03 AM

Tea-bagging and tea-bagging shrimp are two very different things. I prefer the former to the latter. I first met Lauren Powers on the Amtrak from Laguna Beach down to San Diego. I noticed she was muscular and likely did steroids due to her voice having more bass than the Modesto Philharmonic. I commented on her appearance. Our conversation evolved from "get the fuck out here, you creep!" to "How much would it cost to teabag you?" She charged me $350 for the pleasure. She didn't punch me in my coconichi! Not even once!! You may call it crazy, I call it capitalism. This was during the time when that guy Mystery the Pickup Artist and "The Game" was the talk of the town. I denounce such things these days, however. I guess the moral of the story is to be careful about "manifesting" your fetishes with your shaman/therapist.

Edited to add the bit about denouncing and whatnot.