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TSAOutreachTeam t1_j0jdw6g wrote

“At this time we don’t feel that anybody’s safety is in question,” said Sheriff Davis.

"the guy whose heart this is, probably isn't in great condition."

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bilateralrope t1_j0k74xh wrote

But there is no question about how safe his situation is.

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jackinsomniac t1_j0lv5ww wrote

Lol, reminds me of a courtroom transcript of a mortician:

Lawyer: "And you were the one who performed the autopsy?"

Mortician: "Correct."

Lawyer: "And you confirmed he was dead at the time of the procedure?"

Mortician: "Well he was certainly dead by the time I finished with him."

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Khaldara t1_j0ilir9 wrote

Artisanal Jerky preparation

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Strik3rd t1_j0ikes2 wrote

Ahh so that’s where I left it.

My bad guys hisar pop it in some ice and I’ll come round and pick it up

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bilateralrope t1_j0k78og wrote

>We are working very diligently to find or not find anything else at this location

Not the best way to phrase that.

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CosineDanger t1_j0p4cmp wrote

Ever hate someone so much that you wanted to cut out their heart and preserve it in salt, but you didn't want to buy your own salt, so you used someone else's?

Salt has some occult symbolism. You may be looking for a witch.

You may also be looking for an incredibly stupid police officer who thinks he can tell the difference between a dried human heart, a dried pig heart, and a random lump of meat.

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big_juice01 t1_j0u004d wrote

“Additional DNA testing will be performed to try to determine its origin.” … me thinking the origin is obv the human chest it came out of.

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Iersend t1_j0jrc92 wrote

HEY MARSHA WE FOUND IT!

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