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Is he in liver failure? He’s jaundiced af.

It sucks to have been born to a meth head, this guy never had a chance to be anything but a criminal. Look at that fucking mug, who'd hire him for anything?

Oh, it gets so much dumber:

>Authorities say Loyd threw his birth certificate and ID out of the window as he fled. The report says that as he was driving away, Loyd saw the police driving towards the bank in response to the robbery, which scared him into throwing the money out of the truck. Loyd allegedly texted his roommate, telling her that her truck was stolen and that she should listen to the police scanner.

He was also wearing an ankle monitor due to a previous robbery.

It's lighting or a bad spray tan. The whites of his eyes would be yellow.

I'd hire him to steal copper wire if I was also a meth head.

Alright as an article reader, this one eludes me. Craps out half way through, please, TL;DR?

How else was he supposed to prove he was there legally?

I know. I was trying to get a closer look at the whites of dude’s eyes.

"Honestly, i thought they'd go looking for a baby."

This was in Springfield

Ok.

Id promote him to "gathering" catalytic converters

>It sucks to have been born to a meth head, this guy never had a chance to be anything but a criminal. Look at that fucking mug, who'd hire him for anything?

Guy is not a child, he's an adult.

He doesn't get to blame mommy and daddy for his own actions and decisions.

Did you look at the other “trending news” headlines on that page?

No, his sclera are white. But yeah, why is he yellow?

I've met a lot of people who were children of addicts. They had an extremely difficult childhood but they did not turn out to be criminals or drug addicts themselves.

Idk about him but some people come to this world with note a single chance

>which scared him into throwing the money out of the truck.

Okay.

> Loyd allegedly texted his roommate, telling her that her truck was stolen

Working on an alibi?

>He was also wearing an ankle monitor due to a previous robbery.

Next level. Ascends to patron saint of cluelessness. Have to ask where Harry was in all of this, grooming dogs?

Jails are notorious for unflattering lights.

Damned sexy Flanders messed this up, right?

I'd put him in charge of management of any clusterfuck or dumpster fire.

Yeah, this guy needs a home and supervision. What's the point of punishment?

Look, the prison system was DESIGNED by you "tough on crime" people and it sucks. It mostly focuses on the crimes of the poor which have less impact than white collar crime on most people's way of life and it doesn't rehabilitate people more than it just chews them up and spits them out.

God forbid you are ever on the wrong end of the stick and depending on mercy from this "don't blame mommy and daddy" view of the world. Nurture is an impact, otherwise, why are we bothering with anything?

For me, the GPS ankle monitor for a previous robbery is the icing on the cake.

He got a dick on his neck or smthn?

"Why did you use your birth certificate to write your note on?"

"There wasn't enough room on my social security card, and my drivers license was laminated so the ink wouldn't stick."

Yeah, wtf?

>"Man who killed Kevin Bacon, 25, ate his testicles, charged with 1st-degree murder".

I had to double check they weren't talking about the Kevin Bacon.

Not to mention...

>ate his testicles

Double WTF?

Says “fuck” vertically

Steaing a variation of this.

I feel like he wanted to go back to jail. Seems least crazy of the possibilities.

He has crazy eyes so you know the poor guy has some undiagnosed/untreated issues

I suppose if you can't function in a complex world, Prison might be your only hope. And that is super sad.

But it seems like he panicked -- or did he? Throws out the money and then tells sister to report van stolen. So they go after him or don't think he used her van. WHO uses their own van for a heist, anyway?

This poor guy just sounds like h's just not that bright. He could have found less risky and easier ways to get thrown in prison.

I love the shade thrown in this quote:

>“Michael Conley Loyd pleaded guilty to one count of bank robbery in federal court to “prove a point” to his lover, though he never said what his point was.”

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