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TwilitSky t1_ix6zvc2 wrote

Oh, it gets so much dumber:

>Authorities say Loyd threw his birth certificate and ID out of the window as he fled. The report says that as he was driving away, Loyd saw the police driving towards the bank in response to the robbery, which scared him into throwing the money out of the truck. Loyd allegedly texted his roommate, telling her that her truck was stolen and that she should listen to the police scanner.

He was also wearing an ankle monitor due to a previous robbery.

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Fake_William_Shatner t1_ix8aubo wrote

>which scared him into throwing the money out of the truck.

Okay.

> Loyd allegedly texted his roommate, telling her that her truck was stolen

Working on an alibi?

>He was also wearing an ankle monitor due to a previous robbery.

Next level. Ascends to patron saint of cluelessness. Have to ask where Harry was in all of this, grooming dogs?

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sunshinepanther t1_ixanqjj wrote

I feel like he wanted to go back to jail. Seems least crazy of the possibilities.

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Fake_William_Shatner t1_ixasi3h wrote

I suppose if you can't function in a complex world, Prison might be your only hope. And that is super sad.

But it seems like he panicked -- or did he? Throws out the money and then tells sister to report van stolen. So they go after him or don't think he used her van. WHO uses their own van for a heist, anyway?

This poor guy just sounds like h's just not that bright. He could have found less risky and easier ways to get thrown in prison.

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its_not_you_its_ye t1_ixb8pcy wrote

I love the shade thrown in this quote:

>“Michael Conley Loyd pleaded guilty to one count of bank robbery in federal court to “prove a point” to his lover, though he never said what his point was.”

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BourbonInGinger t1_ix6ywj9 wrote

Is he in liver failure? He’s jaundiced af.

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TwilitSky t1_ix6zxwk wrote

It's lighting or a bad spray tan. The whites of his eyes would be yellow.

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BourbonInGinger t1_ix707oc wrote

I know. I was trying to get a closer look at the whites of dude’s eyes.

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RogueTanuki t1_ix7ys5k wrote

No, his sclera are white. But yeah, why is he yellow?

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Sonofarson t1_ix6zlbe wrote

It sucks to have been born to a meth head, this guy never had a chance to be anything but a criminal. Look at that fucking mug, who'd hire him for anything?

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TwilitSky t1_ix7021l wrote

I'd hire him to steal copper wire if I was also a meth head.

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The_Nug_King t1_ix7b8jp wrote

Id promote him to "gathering" catalytic converters

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Fake_William_Shatner t1_ix8b786 wrote

I'd put him in charge of management of any clusterfuck or dumpster fire.

Yeah, this guy needs a home and supervision. What's the point of punishment?

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IHateRoboCalls2131 t1_ix82njn wrote

I've met a lot of people who were children of addicts. They had an extremely difficult childhood but they did not turn out to be criminals or drug addicts themselves.

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Hadren-Blackwater t1_ix7l8m2 wrote

>It sucks to have been born to a meth head, this guy never had a chance to be anything but a criminal. Look at that fucking mug, who'd hire him for anything?

Guy is not a child, he's an adult.

He doesn't get to blame mommy and daddy for his own actions and decisions.

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Fake_William_Shatner t1_ix8duzg wrote

Look, the prison system was DESIGNED by you "tough on crime" people and it sucks. It mostly focuses on the crimes of the poor which have less impact than white collar crime on most people's way of life and it doesn't rehabilitate people more than it just chews them up and spits them out.

God forbid you are ever on the wrong end of the stick and depending on mercy from this "don't blame mommy and daddy" view of the world. Nurture is an impact, otherwise, why are we bothering with anything?

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Imperaux t1_ix83au6 wrote

Idk about him but some people come to this world with note a single chance

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MoseSchruteJunior t1_ix8xtwc wrote

"Why did you use your birth certificate to write your note on?"

"There wasn't enough room on my social security card, and my drivers license was laminated so the ink wouldn't stick."

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mmmmkay23 t1_ixaouow wrote

He has crazy eyes so you know the poor guy has some undiagnosed/untreated issues

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actuarial_venus t1_ix703hq wrote

How else was he supposed to prove he was there legally?

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BillHicksScream t1_ix70daz wrote

"Honestly, i thought they'd go looking for a baby."

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UseThisOne2 t1_ix7vs6p wrote

Did you look at the other “trending news” headlines on that page?

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hyletic t1_ix97h74 wrote

Yeah, wtf?

>"Man who killed Kevin Bacon, 25, ate his testicles, charged with 1st-degree murder".

I had to double check they weren't talking about the Kevin Bacon.

Not to mention...

>ate his testicles

Double WTF?

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BazilBroketail t1_ix702x7 wrote

Alright as an article reader, this one eludes me. Craps out half way through, please, TL;DR?

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bakoryebread t1_ix8gu3k wrote

For me, the GPS ankle monitor for a previous robbery is the icing on the cake.

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