Submitted by DaveOJ12 t3_z0k5jb in nottheonion
Comments
InflamedLiver t1_ix61nj3 wrote
ditching the erection for an insurrection
AuthorityAnarchyYes t1_ix61sa5 wrote
I think he got an erection FROM the insurrection.
aknabi t1_ix6e42y wrote
Insurrerection
Nytelock1 t1_ix6xfzk wrote
Only 30 days wtf
PapstJL4U t1_ix8t7x5 wrote
The person has probably a good argument for "moment to moment decision" and "it wasn't planned". <<I didn't plan to usurp the goverment, but it looked interessting>>
Darryl_Lict t1_ix7bahs wrote
I was thinking that the tinder date said that their idea of a romantic date was overthrowing the government in a violent resurrection.
not_a_gumby t1_ix86zgp wrote
of course he's a Delaware guy
probenation t1_ix66men wrote
He always swipes right.
sanjsrik t1_ix62noh wrote
Some people will do anything to get out of a date.
fuzzybat23 t1_ix6hxvz wrote
Especially a tinder date.
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_ix66odm wrote
This is why I don't date. It leads to rioting
HawkeyeJosh t1_ix6jqhx wrote
A month in the slammer and a $2,500 fine. That’s apparently all that democracy is worth.
wwarnout t1_ix6kg07 wrote
Jan 6 was not a riot - it was an insurrection. Multi-decade imprisonment should be the appropriate sentence.
bjk31987 t1_ix7ejly wrote
The penalty for treason is death.
peensteen t1_ixa3eln wrote
Any excuse to avoid brunch with her friends: "Uh, I'd love to, but I've got an appointment!" "Where?", she asks. His eyes dart frantically around the room, hoping to 'The Usual Suspects' his way out of this bind, when his gaze alights upon live feed from the Capitol Building. "THERE!", he blurts. No federal penitentiary holds as much horror for him as being held captive with the inane laughing of 4 middle-aged women on a 11am prosecco bender.
ZatoX666 t1_ix6zjy0 wrote
Would he not have gone to jail if he didn't go on the tinder date first? Why mention it?
AuthorityAnarchyYes t1_ix5zub4 wrote
“A Delaware business owner has been sentenced to 30 days of incarceration for storming the U.S. Capitol after seeing the riot erupt on a Tinder date’s television and taking an Uber ride to join the mob’s attack, court records show.”
You KNOW it’s a bad date when they leave in the middle of it to go to an insurrection.