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darkchristt t1_ix4uohe wrote

Trying to avoid that deviated chimney

437

dpdxguy t1_iy5j91x wrote

Sounds like it's time to get out one (or several) of those giant commercial vacuums.

1

Shwabbles t1_ix5n7ts wrote

Underrated comment here

−37

Infantilefratercide t1_ix61i5d wrote

Its the top comment.

41

DanteSeldon t1_ix3skmg wrote

Anyone got Charlie Sheen's number?

390

mmrrbbee t1_ix4puww wrote

I’m sure he already knows his order will be late

166

Willinton06 t1_ix4ygla wrote

He’s got his own private line this coke is for the peasants

33

zsero1138 t1_ix4zts9 wrote

no, he already snorted his private line

22

Dzharek t1_ix7dut6 wrote

It's not his order, he send his surplus to Europe to have more cash for cocaine.

2

wolfiepraetor t1_ix5lee8 wrote

They studied charlie sheen. Scientists determined he did enough cocaine to kill Two and a half men

31

jojodolphin t1_ix6fgj5 wrote

"But when the world needed him most, he vanished."

9

Dr_Edge_ATX t1_ix6ua05 wrote

Suicide Squad team of Charlie Sheen, Tim Allen, Stephen King, Andy Dick, and Demi Lovato. Crisis over in a few hours.

3

[deleted] t1_ix7zr6d wrote

I can help with getting rid of it har har har

1

jaybazzizzle t1_ix3qkz7 wrote

Incinerators shouldn't be taking the coke if they can't handle it. Send it to me and I'll sort it out over a weekend

356

Tricky-Engineering59 t1_ix80spr wrote

Better call in one of those ye olde timey coke furnaces they used back in the 70s. The 1870s.

2

V12Jaguar t1_ix3p5d9 wrote

I just happen to offer a "bonded" incinerator service! DM me!

117

Staticoli t1_ix501fs wrote

My incinerator is 100% eco-friendly with absolutely no toxic emissions. Give me the contract!

41

farlos75 t1_ix5ff27 wrote

'No toxic emmissions' except the shite that'll be coming out of your mouth after the first gram!

22

V12Jaguar t1_ix50sm3 wrote

Did I mention we're eco-friendly too and our service is now 100% FREE!

15

lucidrage t1_ix6kc9z wrote

In fact, we'll pay you $1/gram for letting us incinerate for you!

4

its_justme t1_ix5ptmr wrote

I’ve been to your house on burrito night. Not too sure on the toxic emissions

3

WU-itsForTheChildren t1_ix4wt33 wrote

No no no this guy is a SCAMMER!!! I have a legit incinerator I’ll charge less than nothing… shit I’ll pay you to let me incinerate it for you just DM me not this guy ME /s

7

danhoyuen t1_ix71b39 wrote

why does everyone seem so confident at being up to the task in this post?

2

TylerBourbon t1_ix513lt wrote

There's only one solution and everyone nose what it is....

34

Chard069 t1_ix4zufb wrote

Back in the day, we blamed Western heroin shortages on Keith Richards, not confiscations. Why isn't someone wealthy snorting all that coke? (Don't mention Musk.)

29

Adrunk3nr3dn3ck t1_ix68dzq wrote

Well, Whitney Houston passed away in 2012 so it’s not surprising there’s been a build up.

5

Such-Wrongdoer-2198 t1_ix51u8y wrote

If only there was some cost effective means of disposing of a mountain of cocaine. Surely someone has an idea.

24

MEsyas t1_ix5pcck wrote

I have the solution: let Belgium sell the seized cocaine to alleviate the national debt /s

No but seriously, it's becoming a big issue. There have been drug gang-related incidents in Antwerp for a while now.

23

Segamaike t1_ix5v1yg wrote

We’ve been the coke and extasy extacy ecstasy XTC capital of the world for a while now, which is.. something

9

PsychoKali t1_ix6vtov wrote

This is why you legalize recreational drugs. You cut out the criminal element, educate the population on safe use, put in quality regulations, while getting a shitton of money in taxes. There wont be a gang war if gangs no longer have a business avenue due to legalization.

8

Tedstor t1_ix46ax1 wrote

Can’t they just flush it down the toilet?

19

_Weyland_ t1_ix4qq23 wrote

But them gators will get high in the sewers.

31

Zwets t1_ix4vtsk wrote

Antwerp doesn't have sewer gators, it's all eels down there.

16

Heliolord t1_ix4w7ki wrote

Sounds like a great idea. Gets rid of the coke and creates super electric eels with enough juice to power the city.

17

OverlySexualPenguin t1_ix5o2u7 wrote

When the coke wears off they're going to be really grumpy tho

12

Ammear t1_ix6yye5 wrote

So you just need to get them more coke.

Coke-powered green energy.

3

Naughtai t1_ix71ag5 wrote

Danger, danger- high voltage! When we touch- when we kiss.

1

THE_AWESOM-O_4000 t1_ix5uef3 wrote

Antwerp is already the city where the sewer water has the highest cocaine % of Europe.

13

_night_cat t1_ix6cvw2 wrote

They should bottle it and sell it as an energy drink

7

Tedstor t1_ix5wx35 wrote

Then a little more won’t hurt

1

IvanStarokapustin t1_ix3sej5 wrote

I guess that’s a good excuse for the cops to take a taste.

17

eatsrottenflesh t1_ix4z398 wrote

Are they sure it's all coke? I would be more than happy to smell it and make sure.

15

vhtg t1_ix5o333 wrote

Oh for Glock's sake. Just give it to Elon Musk. He destroys everything he touches. Problem solved.

13

DanYHKim t1_ix5qbtx wrote

>"Burning cocaine releases substances that are very harmful to the filters of the incinerator. At most, we can process 1,000 to 1,500 kg per session."

I guess they can't just use it for fuel to generate electricity

11

XxXKaotickXxX t1_ix6ae2q wrote

They should get 600 crackheads to run on treadmills that generator power. They'd be carbon neutral in like a week.

22

TigBiddiesMacDaddy t1_ix4jii6 wrote

I know who to call: Greendale’s founder, Russell Borchert

10

SweRakii t1_ix4wjr6 wrote

I'll do it. I have one at home, but I wanna be alone while doing it

9

BWander t1_ix5f69d wrote

The, uh... half a mountain seized.

5

farlos75 t1_ix5f9qz wrote

I'll be right there

phones the old rave crew

"Lads, dig out your glowsticks ans stock up on gum. This is the big one."

5

HerrSirCupcake t1_ix5ritd wrote

legalizing cocaine in europe would starve south american gangs of income and could potentially stop the violence.

5

DJCPhyr t1_ix3ws5f wrote

Ship it to Miami, it will be disposed of very quickly.

4

Jek_PORKINS_ t1_ix5poyb wrote

I sure do hate cocaine but it does smell great

4

kawkz440 t1_ix5a9k4 wrote

Welp, duty calls...

3

RantControl t1_ix5fs5q wrote

the CIA has entered the chat

3

Falfinator t1_ix5b728 wrote

These will end up in a cement plant kiln. The destroyer of all police evidence. True story.

2

Espeeste t1_ix5eqty wrote

I have some friends in the Financial district who can help you out.

2

Knerk t1_ix5klgs wrote

Where is Dr. Rockso when you need him?

2

kenxzero t1_ix6ae5d wrote

Send a few brinks my way. I'll snort it out, I er mean sort it out. We could draw straws.

2

jazir5 t1_ix6okvy wrote

Now here's an idea, just hear me out now, maybe we just end the war on drugs so we don't have to burn the cocaine?

2

ty_webslinger t1_ix77nhj wrote

I can help! I'm also a cocaine incinerator.

2

SmilesOnSouls t1_ix58d7h wrote

Sounds like it's time for the most epic snowball fight ever!

1

jamesbeil t1_ix5fjdu wrote

It's time to call Michael Gove.

1

n3lswn t1_ix5g7vn wrote

Imagine burning this much coke. Shameless

1

BeardedMan32 t1_ix5hxny wrote

Sounds like a solution to the energy crisis but drug enforcement agencies don’t really do much outside the box thinking.

1

sebastouch t1_ix5i4ly wrote

This is silly, the government could sell it and make tons of money!

1

55_peters t1_ix5jd0q wrote

Mix it with diesel and blend it with crude though a refinery

1

GuitarGeezer t1_ix5k44i wrote

Ja, we have broken one of our incinerators, namely CharlieSheen01.

1

MyHatIsGray t1_ix5kkyn wrote

I wonder how much this is worth

1

itsfeckingfreezing t1_ix5m9nv wrote

Antwerp are in luck, I just happen to have an incinerator. Also as a good citizen not wanting this filth on our streets I’ll even get rid of it for free.

1

JaceThePowerBottom t1_ix5o6oe wrote

I know a friend who can dispose of it. Just give it to me and it'll be handled.

I'm my friend is about to trade so many stocks.

1

Imn0tg0d t1_ix5qmw5 wrote

Why is it illegal anyway? Just legalize and regulate it, get rid of the black market and crime will plummet too. The war on drugs is so stupid.

1

cdezdr t1_ix5rknw wrote

The problem is that this drug is highly addictive.

4

Imn0tg0d t1_ix6ay8q wrote

Tobacco companies literally add nicotine because it is addictive. Alcoholism destroys plenty of lives. Why do those substances, which are just as destructive, get a pass? Drugs aren't some addictive boogeyman that you were taught as a kid. There are plenty of people around you who do cocaine and you dont even know it. Key bumps happen in every bar bathroom across the country. Your server at a restaurant is probably on coke and you never noticed. If you've ever used a lawyer I can guarantee your lawyer is on coke. Your kids school teacher probably does coke on the occasional weekend. Your nurse or doctor definitely does it.

Drugs are everywhere, and if you know what signs to look for you will find it everywhere. You can see it if someone is really bad off on it, like Donald Trump Jr or Charlie sheen, but the vast majority of people who do it have no problem with it and can do it socially.

If you have an addiction, it isn't the substance that's causing it, its you trying to use that substance to cope with something else in your life. Sure, there are chemical dependencies that develop late in the addiction cycle for any substance, but the addiction started long before those chemical dependencies develop.

5

KittenKoder t1_ix62qse wrote

So is tobacco. The problem is that a "war" on something is a justification for excessive spending on opposing said thing.

Medical treatment and decriminalization has shown to be more effective than anything else for reducing the harm done by any substance, even tobacco, even cocaine.

2

[deleted] t1_ix5rtrj wrote

[removed]

1

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−1

CannotFuckingBelieve t1_ix62kky wrote

Is it possible for them to sell any of it to Coca-Cola? Probably sounds like a dumb question, but I'm pretty sure they still incorporate cocaine in their product, or at least isolate the stuff that doesn't get you all gacked up.

1

Juggs_gotcha t1_ix63mai wrote

*puts thumbs in belt*

I might be able to help you with that.

1

N0VOCAIN t1_ix64y25 wrote

It’s because they haven’t secured the Mexican border

1

Chasethemac t1_ix6bpbi wrote

I'll take a Lil bit if it eases their burden.

I think together we can all help

1

Friendo93 t1_ix6c9tr wrote

Nice try, I’ll never believe this shit is incinerated.

1

cbright90 t1_ix6d3nw wrote

I volunteer as tribute!

1

Rayfoo t1_ix6huy5 wrote

An industrial crack machine. What a time to be alive.

1

NoKiaYesHyundai t1_ix6k4i5 wrote

Well we always can just send Lil Wayne to do it all

1

nailz1992 t1_ix6kn6s wrote

As Ali G once said, "why not give this to charity?"

1

xiphoidthorax t1_ix6ksjx wrote

I’m still offering to “ dispose “ it for them.

1

HeartZombie2 t1_ix6lqft wrote

So did they get a new Papst everyday

1

Senior-Sharpie t1_ix6n3rl wrote

Where’s Marty Byrd when you need him?

1

Aeseld t1_ix6tfci wrote

Send me a brick or two, I'll help!

1

Slick-Pickin-Chicken t1_ix6xorb wrote

Oh no, guess we can’t incinerate it. Guess well just have to do and sell it.

1

Inevitable_Dust_4345 t1_ix6y4sa wrote

Kinda seems like they’re putting this out there so the can get ripped off

1

Ricksterdinium t1_ix71n95 wrote

Can you do something with cocaine? Like make lidocaine cream or something.

1

twister55555 t1_ix78xdh wrote

Sounds like it's time coca cola brought back the OG recipe

1

cynicaldoubtfultired t1_ix7999d wrote

Fly in the people working in finance from London and New York. Bet they'd make a sizeable dent in it in one weekend, add those in the oil industry in Aberdeen and problem gone.

1

Hany2k t1_ix7gvty wrote

do a giveaway

1

Hopperkin t1_ix7hilw wrote

Well, the republicans would just put it in the drinking water, what's wrong with that?

1

Precluse t1_ix7moyg wrote

Let's not make a mountain out of a cokehill

1

Fortifical t1_ix7qjog wrote

I'd just fly it back to Colombia and say "You dropped this". Let them deal with the cleanup.

1

jmdyason t1_ix7r9xh wrote

I volunteer as tribute!

1

Glamdryne t1_ix85jql wrote

I hear that Brussels is very nice the right now time of year.

1

joan_wilder t1_ix8fj71 wrote

It worked, you crazy bastards! It worked!!

1

jesusmansuperpowers t1_ix4v4pf wrote

Just write “return to sender” and drop it off at the post office. I’m sure that works. But not fedex, they don’t return anything until you pay

0