Submitted by Beau_Buffett t3_yzwsvd in nottheonion
Comments
TylerSmash t1_ix2k076 wrote
They better stay. I keep hearing those colors don't run.
TheRealNathNath t1_ix3gkxz wrote
*into a classroom where children are being shot
j4ckbauer t1_ix5s7ag wrote
Officers opened fire when the sinkhole didn't respond to their commands.
nobodyspersonalchef t1_ix33iwa wrote
#teamsinkhole
QAndOne t1_ix2l927 wrote
Revenge of the donut holes.
Rickshmitt t1_ix387k4 wrote
Country holes, take my home
Beau_Buffett OP t1_ix3a63y wrote
West Virginia, sinkhole mama
Eat the police, country holes
DMoney159 t1_ix2mfjh wrote
That sinkhole is making threats? Officers are ready to open fire
Maltese_Vulcan t1_ix2ogye wrote
Only if it’s a black hole
Larry_Phischman t1_ix2kyf2 wrote
Oh no!
Anyway…
philosophicnoodle t1_ix2u9u0 wrote
"That's it. Straight to hell with the lot of them", some Angel probably.
likeasirjohn t1_ix2j4gt wrote
The miners have their day!
Zenphony t1_ix362n0 wrote
Hell was already fully in control there, someone accidentally removed the veil.
Pusfilledonut t1_ix2mfdh wrote
Proof God exists
deltahalo241 t1_ix2v879 wrote
Instead of fixing the sinkhole, I think the funds should be used to construct a brand new monorail line!
HotAmericanDickings t1_ix43521 wrote
I find most monorail enthusiasts have a one-track mind.
eatsrottenflesh t1_ix3b2cb wrote
Have they tried shooting at it?
jeffersonairmattress t1_ix5bbav wrote
They are not allowed to until two officers who can’t see what’s going on yell “stop resisting.”
eatsrottenflesh t1_ix5hk6u wrote
Right before their body cams malfunction.
j4ckbauer t1_ix5sigx wrote
Depends, if it is one guy holding something in his hand then yes.
If they are actually afraid of being harmed, they need to wait for about 1,000-2,000 cops to gather around outside it.
In other news, police have forcibly detained 4 emergency responders attempting to evacuate survivors and 3 engineers attempting to survey the damage.
Far-Statistician-545 t1_ix2q0ow wrote
Act of God
LolaBleu t1_ix2n3c9 wrote
Direct action
Icthyocrat t1_ix2ug89 wrote
Based
Djeikob t1_ix2xbsf wrote
What are it's demands?
LateStageAdult t1_ix3ay1f wrote
Just relocating to their new home in Hell.
Nonstop_Shaynanigans t1_ix4lxb6 wrote
heh. *hears subterranean sirens*
Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground
druffischnuffi t1_ix5bhax wrote
Fuck, the police is going straight to the underground
Sentsuizan t1_ix2op2z wrote
I can think of a few congressmen who would do it too
BallerChin t1_ix3b0kf wrote
Well, can’t they just shoot their way out?
maybe_Lena t1_ix3bqzx wrote
Oh no, anyways
ttkciar t1_ix2mdz3 wrote
Yaay!! Maybe if the soil likes the taste of them, it will gobble down the rest too, nationwide!
EyepherWon t1_ix2pud0 wrote
Massive doesn't seem like the right adjective for a giant sized hole, in that massive means having great mass or bulk.
InaGlassGuitar t1_ix2rbnt wrote
Anti-massive?
otas1 t1_ix388gc wrote
hungry
Crab_Spider t1_ix3hnbc wrote
Ravenous
EyepherWon t1_ix3wfam wrote
Enormous is over in a corner saying hey bros what about me. Duck you, meaning-based word choice and precision, you're not cool anymore. We like massive. Massive is lit. Massive makes me sound cool. I mean literally. It was literally massive. Enormous just makes it sound like someone's fat ass. This sinkhole had mass and substance you'll simply never comprehend.
DragonflyGrrl t1_ix40kvl wrote
Hah! Good thinking. Gigantic could work better..
phunkydroid t1_ix47zmv wrote
I encourage you to check a dictionary before saying things like this in the future.
EyepherWon t1_ix4nno5 wrote
I actually did, but it didn't help. I think I'm hopeless. For some reason I was feeling wordy ranty this morning when I wrote that. Now all I feel is a massive emptiness welling up inside..
Jman50k t1_ix477e6 wrote
Comrade Sinkhole
fearinclothing t1_ix4c8ej wrote
Nice
ExecutiveAvenger t1_ix4przc wrote
Should've happened in Uvalde.
puerto-recon t1_ix4qlym wrote
This is the best news I've read today
MeatMaker2 t1_ix4qyt2 wrote
Destabilize the police?
_daGarim_ t1_ix51xgo wrote
"Fuck the police." -God
curlyfreak t1_ix58v2w wrote
Sounds like God’s wrath.
icydee t1_ix5esp0 wrote
Sinkhole opens up next to police station. Police are looking into it!
zendrix1 t1_ix5j5q7 wrote
Nothing of value would be lost
emceehawaii t1_ix2opr6 wrote
My bad
[deleted] t1_ix38upb wrote
[deleted]
Bert_Fegg t1_ix57ngk wrote
Their God must be angry with them. I can think of no other reason.
EnvironmentalMenu336 t1_ix5ddnr wrote
as it should. ACAB
ismyworkaccountok t1_ix5s0i9 wrote
Fuck tha po-lice coming straight from the underground
j4ckbauer t1_ix5s3q0 wrote
I am sure Pat Robertson would agree this is a sign of God's judgement. Or at the very least, an area where he has removed his 'hand of protection'.
dalper5 t1_ix6nkjq wrote
La Brea
variegatedheart t1_ix7rhcd wrote
Look Christians! Sign from God to defund the police!
msac2u1981 t1_iy52hq5 wrote
It's pretty bad when Mother Nature tells you to fall in & die.
risingstanding t1_ix34zzv wrote
Why are they calling one of the cops neighbors a "massive sink hole"? I get it she's overweight, but why sink hole?
Swagbigboy256 t1_ix2kkkp wrote
Stop fucking reposting jesus christ
racefan9 t1_ix2pght wrote
The anti police dumbasses are going to have a field day with this one
pettythief1346 t1_ix2pu0t wrote
And the pro police deep throaters who don't know their lefts from their basic human rights will have a bad time in the comment section.
Nervous-Juice-3263 t1_ix2iysc wrote
New meaning of "support the police" just dropped