Submitted by nimobo t3_yxnmk2 in nottheonion
Comments
pab_guy t1_iwq7x76 wrote
I was gonna say, no way they destroy pure gold.
BazilBroketail t1_iwpnr5s wrote
Anybody watched CNN lately? It's fucked. Like, super fucked. And all the anchors just go along with it...
It's weird. Like they're being held hostage or something.
vanriggs t1_iwpsoac wrote
Weren't they recently bought out by some right winger?
Indercarnive t1_iwq5zx9 wrote
Yes
JethroFire t1_ix1zvjw wrote
Sure was. Maybe they'll have some credibility now.
TheDanimal27 t1_iwpshct wrote
It's been weird the last couple months, but last night's town hall with Mike Fucking Pence felt like a jump the shark moment.
nunziavaer543210 t1_iwti7im wrote
cnn got bought out by right wing billionaire months ago.
nunziavaer543210 t1_iwti4kw wrote
its bought out by a right wing billionaire, a trumper. hence the drastic right wing shift. and VERY FOX-esque reporting. they probably need a FOX-LIte network for the moderates, and normal fox for the crazies.
ThrowAway62378549 t1_iwpsos6 wrote
My Dad knows someone who owns CNN, he says they can't take toilet breaks unless they ask for the key.
And you act super busy so it makes them awkward to ask for the key. One time my dad said he acted way too busy and he say a woman poop himself all over his colleagues but luckily their was tarp on the floors and ground.
Edit: it's a joke, like "my dad owns nintendo". Except this is directed at the comment above me, kind of to show that he is being ridiculous so im just matching that energy but with an outrageous and near impossible scenario. LIKE WHY WOULD A LADY POOP ON PEOPLE WITH TARP ON GROUND?!
tronaldmcdump t1_iwpx6g1 wrote
Major my uncle works at Nintendo vibes here.
Agrakus t1_iwqccao wrote
My dad owns Reddit, you better delete this comment or I will get him to ban you.
NoiseyCat t1_iwr2z4o wrote
My uncle already has the PS9!
ThrowAway62378549 t1_iws7qrf wrote
That's exactly the joke I was going for. Seemed like everyone else didn't pick up that low hanging fruit
CodeCat5 t1_iwpxznn wrote
I know a couple of people who have worked at CNN. They have normal restrooms just like any other office building. From what I've heard the biggest complaint is that many parts of the building need some serious maintenance.
unique_passive t1_iwt1ln5 wrote
“Someone who owns CNN” sort of makes the joke clear, but I guess illiteracy is high
[deleted] t1_iwt9423 wrote
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elpajaroquemamais t1_iwpzpz0 wrote
So your dad Warner media
ThrowAway62378549 t1_iws82ea wrote
That's the joke
elpajaroquemamais t1_iwu8nly wrote
Wasn’t clear at all before you added the edit.
ThrowAway62378549 t1_ix19cjo wrote
Im glad spelling out that pooping on a tarp is not normal behaviour really sold it to you. I'm just doing the lords work.
brendan7_ t1_iwsvz61 wrote
I got it. No one has a sense of humor anymore.
[deleted] t1_iwvdsi4 wrote
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0le_Hickory t1_iwpivlq wrote
Hasn’t been as good since Kathy got fired. Kathy sexually harassing Anderson Cooper was the whole show.
Caballita14 t1_iwpslbz wrote
She may have messed up a few times but their banter was hysterical. She got those giggles out of him.
wallander1983 t1_iwpjtkh wrote
Hey CNN, you fixed the non broken part.
AeternusDoleo t1_iwpicj1 wrote
So... they'll be loaded before lifting the mic then?
Might actually be entertaining now that I think about it...
Impressive_Ad9102 t1_iwpnkno wrote
That was the only thing keeping people watching.
fantasmoofrcc t1_iwpsmup wrote
I guess they can just light up some blunts.
portuga1 t1_iwpjp5d wrote
I thought they drunk all year round??
Thejudojeff t1_iwqbg3o wrote
Boo
1337ingDisorder t1_iwv29yb wrote
Get ready for CNN's Baked-AF New Year's Eve!
SmurfsNeverDie t1_iwpk9f0 wrote
It just means they are swapping to tequila
fredsam25 t1_iwpu5se wrote
Website checks out.
the_drozone t1_iwqiq1h wrote
Bummer
HoppityHooper t1_iwsl8qk wrote
So much for having a vodka with Lemon.
artcook32945 t1_iwr36sz wrote
If I wanted to see a couple of Drunks make fools of them selves, I would go to a Bar or Family Outing.
SolPlayaArena t1_iwscn8p wrote
Boooooo
[deleted] t1_iwt3yjw wrote
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Comfortable-Clerk209 t1_iwt4xfp wrote
So sorry to hear that, drunken rants were the only reason for watching!
wwarnout t1_iwpw4d6 wrote
So, an employer not allowing its employees to drink on the job. How is that not a good idea?
Kampizi t1_iwq4cp3 wrote
my chiropractor told me he LOVED anderson cooper getting drunk on NYE, and found it hilarious, even laughed when he told me about it.
​
Umm to each his own..... but glad they enjoy it.
whatshamilton t1_iwplp7f wrote
“Hosts Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper can still drink, though.” Oh thank god, I need another drunk Andy rant