I had a stroke reading that title

Thought she was caught pounding the meat, turns out she pounded someone with the meat.

Is there an award for incoherent titles?

What?!?

"Cops to" means "admits". It's coherent if you know what it means, but it's still awkward in a headline because it's slang.

No one talks like that.

Just because you've never heard it doesn't mean people don't use it lol

That too, or at least I haven't heard it in a long time. Still, it was common enough at one point to make it into the dictionary.

You could actually kill someone by striking them in the head with a frozen meat log.

They could call her "Chuck" Norris.

Because you're the authority on English-speakers the world over. 🙄

Name checks out.

They're not frozen - at least not those.

I had to check, and came away soooooo disappointed that her surname wasn't Norris.

Yep, never heard that one before. Now go read my profile to see what it's about. Maybe you'll learn something about yourself (admittedly unlikely).

That just paints a whole other picture in my head (hint: maybe she's trans)...

Love the double-entendre!

Thanks for sharing, now go wash off your hands before your phone gets all sticky.

The title was awesome.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the story is even better.

TLDR:

Final sentence in the story:

Jackson was not injured by the meat blows.

Haha, the image in my head was of her literally hitting the meat like a punching bag (for reasons unknown), but I couldn't resist.

What a POS. I feel bad for the two kids that were there.

Neither could I... 😜

I had to read it, so I've reddit: "Jackson, who had lived downstairs from Garner in a University Heights duplex, had previously secured a protection order against her ex-neighbor.

Cops say that when Garner (seen at right) confronted Jackson in the Walmart potato chip aisle, she threatened to beat up Jackson and her daughter. Garner then allegedly pulled down Jackson's face mask and attempted to spit on her.

When the spit missed the target, Garner reached into Jackson’s cart and removed the $22 meat log. Cops described the tube of ground beef as a “blunt object” in an arrest report (a Walmart meat log is seen in the above police photo).

Garner, investigators charged, struck Jackson “a couple of times in the face with a ten pound log of prepackaged ground beef.” Garner was arrested at the scene and a relative subsequently took custody of her son.

Jackson was not injured by the meat blows."

It was very hard figuring out what was a noun and what a verb in this title.

"Frozen Meat Log" sounds like a great band name.

You could rearrange the words, like magnetic poetry, and create so many other interesting titles

r/titlegore

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Reading the title: "what the fuck"

Reading the article: "WHAT THE FUCK"

It’s similar to using “seldom” instead of “rarely”.

“I seldom use the word “seldom” to refer to doing things rarely.”

If you ask me, I think it sounds terribly lousy.

The victim’s name is literally Percy Jackson. Kind of cool?

I don’t fucking know, there’s no takeaways here.

Plus, in that particular sentence it ends up leading you down the garden path. You see "Woman cops to..." and you think it's about to be something that female police officers are about to do. "Woman cops to strike in Philadelphia after unequal pay dispute." The admits to meaning is used much less than the police officer meaning.

Ohio = The north's attempt at competing w/ florida .