Submitted by CCMcC t3_ynx5jc in nottheonion
Comments
Bubbagumpredditor t1_ivb788m wrote
Interesting, what's the difference?
Independent-Record63 t1_ivb855s wrote
Coffins are shaped and usually have a removable lid. Caskets are rectangular and have hinged lids.
GetlostMaps t1_ivbgxg5 wrote
Yes on the shape. Caskets are rectangular, coffins are tapered. Negative on the hinge. That's just a modern embellishment. You can have a casket with no hinges.
Rickshmitt t1_ivbe5h5 wrote
TIL
chrissilich t1_ivbzbpi wrote
What’s a sarcophagus?
pseudocultist t1_ivcc542 wrote
It contains a coffin, it's an outer later meant for crypts and tombs where there's space around the interment, usually.
littlebitsofspider t1_ivd3vh2 wrote
What about a burial vault?
I'm trying to get the "this encloses that" matrioshka order of funerary containers correct so I can enclose the world's most anticlimactic 'pop goes the weasel' joke for future archeologists.
AxelNotRose t1_ivdjgvk wrote
So would it start with an urn inside a casket?
BortWard t1_ivdjvwv wrote
Paper bag of remains in the urn
littlebitsofspider t1_ivdnr08 wrote
I guess so far I'm at: sealed vial of blood, inside paper bag of ashes, inside travel urn, inside urn, inside coffin, inside casket, inside sarcophagus, inside burial vault, inside tomb, inside cenotaph, inside pyramid.
🎶 "Pop!" goes the weasel.🎶
sQueezedhe t1_ivcaxlm wrote
Different.
420blazeit69nubz t1_ivcjyba wrote
The most ballin way to be buried
Bubbagumpredditor t1_ivb8coc wrote
Interesting. Thanks.
joedirte70 t1_ivc87i7 wrote
White collar vs blue collar
Jjex22 t1_ivdwjv9 wrote
$$$ - body disposal is big business
Vast_Back4746 t1_iveh8pu wrote
For the difference of use, coffin is for bodies of the dead while casket is used when the body of the deceased is unable to be found or claimed.
archenemy_43 t1_ivcer18 wrote
Hey man, the media doesn’t get paid for accuracy.
_SurfingKoala t1_ivb4m2o wrote
Used?! Where's the body?!
mtwstr t1_ivbahvl wrote
Graveyard rats took it
Girls_are_pretty t1_ivbpi6v wrote
I just started watching cabinet of curiosities and am literally 3 minutes into “Graveyard Rats”… I’m assuming I’ll get this joke in another 20 minutes or so
SiNDiLeX t1_ivcehye wrote
Did you enjoy the inside joke?
Girls_are_pretty t1_ivcex69 wrote
Yep yep yep
Honkeygrandmabetripn t1_ivd2au1 wrote
Girls are just farts
acidwxlf t1_ivddtgx wrote
Loving the show so far. The Autopsy is my favorite episode, so well done
Girls_are_pretty t1_ivdj71m wrote
I agree. That one particular scene where the hairs on the back of neck raised actually made me feel actual unease which I think the last time I felt that was watching a horror movie when I was a kid.
VoidbringerEden t1_iveplyc wrote
What show
acidwxlf t1_ivewrls wrote
Cabinet of Curiosities on Netflix
obsessivesnuggler t1_ivfgceb wrote
Kind of loses steam after that episode.
acidwxlf t1_ivfqfhx wrote
Yeah I think it's up and down, very dependent on the directors style and the quality of the story being adapted. I'm a Lovecraft fan so I really liked Pickman's Model and Dream In the Witch House (also watched the Masters of Horror episode on the same story, fairly different interpretation). My least favorite episodes were actually the first two. Lot 36 and Graveyard Rats.
obsessivesnuggler t1_ivfr8sr wrote
Mine was the one with Micucci and skin lotion.
acidwxlf t1_ivfryju wrote
Least favorite? I actually really liked that for the creepy factor. They nailed the aesthetic. I'm a big Martin Starr fan
Shitmongaloid t1_ivdki9w wrote
Cats ate her face
TheJollyHermit t1_ivcgaap wrote
They got better
Nwcray t1_ivct9gu wrote
A newt?
TheCovfefeMug t1_ivd8kbi wrote
BURN HER ANYWAY
Maldibus t1_ivck668 wrote
Sometimes I dig up all the bodies in my colony and stuff them in the crematorium. Especially when the graveyard is on some prime real estate. Smokeleaf is more valuable than dead raiders.
muzza299 t1_ivd9lok wrote
Who tf buries raiders? That's free nutrient paste right there.
At the very least turn them into kibble.
Terror_Raisin24 t1_ivb81y4 wrote
Traded in at organs shop
shadoweiner t1_ivd5bms wrote
I think i walked into the wrong organs shop, all i saw were brass pipes
FreddyDeus t1_ivci92x wrote
In the stockpot.
psibomber t1_ivd728q wrote
Old woman who found the big toe in the woods, is that you?
FreddyDeus t1_ivdvno2 wrote
No, I’m just a normal bloke being frugal in these challenging economic times.
Darkwolfie117 t1_ivctj2g wrote
Dead
caninehere t1_ivcwg61 wrote
Used for Halloween decorating.
hypnos_surf t1_ivdsdb6 wrote
The body was most likely cremated. They only used a coffin for the service/wake.
DoBe21 t1_ivetbbv wrote
This or it was just the display and that model is discontinued and someone bought it for their future funeral at a super cheap rate. One of my older neighbors did this and has his in his shed. Kind of different, but it will save his family money come funeral time.
big_juice01 t1_ivb5lr3 wrote
I’m not so sure I wanna know…
Bubbagumpredditor t1_ivb76hu wrote
I wanna know. If I'm buying a coffin, I want a discount if it's empty.
[deleted] t1_ivbpten wrote
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teplightyear t1_ivcjy5v wrote
lmao Yeah, this article fails to ask the important questions.
Undying4n42k1 t1_ivd202u wrote
Someone invented necromancy.
smotstoker t1_ivbe6o3 wrote
Off trying to find Gizmo to ask where there fucking coffin is.
[deleted] t1_ivbg93l wrote
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thoth1000 t1_ivblyla wrote
It was traded in within the last year according to the article, and the pawn shop owner doesn't say why it was traded in. Then it asks a completely unrelated person why they're shopping at a pawn shop. This is a terrible article, it doesn't connect the economy to the used coffin, at all.
youngmindoldbody t1_ivbrfw7 wrote
and $49 seemed pricy for that vacuum cleaner, she should go to garage / yard sales.
rompydompy t1_ivci92b wrote
Headlines about a worsening economy days before an election…. 🧐
IProbablyWontReplyTY t1_ivdgdfh wrote
Dan Abrams' crappy NewsNationNow of course.
Khaldara t1_ivf2yar wrote
“Little Old Lady only took it to the church on weekends. One previous owner!”
WirelessBCupSupport t1_iwdlkjn wrote
"New Owner! Recently renovated with updates utility and bath! "
Legitimate_Western83 t1_ivfk834 wrote
Aren’t there cemeteries that only let you rent the grave for 20 years? Maybe somebody hadn’t paid their rent upfront and no one picked up the tab post-mortem. Regardless, yuck, but…hey what’s the discount?
originalusername__ t1_ivc2msy wrote
Unfortunately buried my mom in April, cancer took her far too young. The cheapest casket available at the time was around 2000$ but there were nicer options that cost damn near 10k. They also offered rentals for those being cremated, I think that cost around 700$.
creace t1_ivcjg73 wrote
I lost 3 family members this year. Went cremation each time and only a cardboard box for the ashes. Still 1.5k each
caninehere t1_ivcwmlb wrote
Just throw me in the trash.
TankSparkle t1_ivdksr2 wrote
I don't get why people aren't buried in a way that allows their body to naturally decompose. That allows the body to return to nature.
Pumping bodies full of preservatives and burying them doesn't make much sense.
And per Neil deGrasse Tyson: "Cremation releases your body's energy as heat into the atmosphere, eventually radiating it out to space."
caninehere t1_ivdmrm1 wrote
Some people are. There's a thing called green burials. The body isn't preserved, just put in a shroud kinda thing that helps decomposition I think, and buried like that.
There's also companies that will take your cremated ashes and put them into a planter with a sapling, so you can plant it and grow a tree. Or if you wanna get really weird I've seen ones that turn your ashes into a vinyl record haha.
Schwarz-Adler t1_ivd923b wrote
U deserve better, no?
caninehere t1_ivdmlka wrote
I mean, I don't give a shit. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead!
cant_bother_me t1_ivdxap1 wrote
What the fuck, dude.
tumka t1_ivfdlib wrote
It's a reference to "it's always sunny in Philadelphia"
[deleted] t1_ivguhvm wrote
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djsizematters t1_ivda93t wrote
I wanna get put through a woodchipper facing a forest so that nobody ever disturbs me again.
muppet_reject t1_ivdfxc8 wrote
$1.5k is a bargain. My dad's was over 3 grand.
creace t1_ivdkfr9 wrote
Any cheaper and I'd have to do it myself
Raichu7 t1_ivqanes wrote
Can you provide your own cardboard box? Get all the family to write heartfelt messages on it, or draw pictures.
creace t1_ivqsavv wrote
I tried! Nope has to be special cardboard
aarons6 t1_ivda63f wrote
you did know you dont have to buy the funeral home caskets?
when my grandma died their cheapest one was 2000 and it was junk they called it a "green" casket made from recycled wood or something.
anyways..
online i got a metal one with nice brass accents for like $400. (im sure they are more expensive now, but it was the cheapest one i could find online and it did its job)
they delivered it to the funeral home and got it all setup.
originalusername__ t1_ivddebt wrote
I had no idea or I’d probably have 1600$ more money right now 🤣
aarons6 t1_ivddw54 wrote
:(
the whole funeral and burial thing was just a high pressure sales scam.
most of the price they threw at us we got taken off and it ended up being like a third of what was "suggested"
we already had the burial plot tho.
HIM_Darling t1_ive17xr wrote
My family went to a discount casket store when my uncle died. Imagine grieving over losing a loved one and you have to listen to the funeral home manager getting bitched out by the casket store owner because the funeral home was refusing to take the casket because it wasn’t “the right size”. It was the exact same as one they sold, the casket store owner called him out on his bullshit, even though he would have to take it regardless if it was the right size or not(he was saying it was off by an entire inch). They wouldn’t have used that funeral home but my grandma had a pre-purchased plot there from 20-30 years prior.
paganicon t1_ivbq3jl wrote
As economy worsens??
youwantitwhen t1_ivcb7l9 wrote
Probably a Sinclair channel. Sinclair is a right wing organization in the US that is pushing the GOP narrative through all of their affiliates.
IProbablyWontReplyTY t1_ivdgizd wrote
Nope it's Dan Abrams' NewsNationNow. He'll say whatever it takes for a few minutes of attention.
calloy t1_ivb5d5n wrote
So they dug up a relative to sell the casket? That’s what used means, you know.
ramtax666 t1_ivbaxul wrote
Not necessary, they could have use a nice casket for the funeral and burn the body without one.
jpowell180 t1_ivbd817 wrote
Yes, and it seems ridiculous to not allow the casket to be reused if all it was used for was to display the body for a funeral and not to bury the body.
chapstick__ t1_ivbw3t1 wrote
Maybe there should be a casket rental service, for people that are being cremated, but still want a open casket funeral.
Infynis t1_ivbx07j wrote
I think funeral homes already do this
Prudent-Beautiful-33 t1_ivc1g2t wrote
I paid $1200 to rent a casket for 2 hours that was specially designed so the cardboard cremation refrigerator box thing slipped inside.
$1200 gave me the right to ask the unamused undertaker if he fucked my wife as hard as he was fucking me.
SilasX t1_ivc88go wrote
Oh yeah it’s totally no big deal to take a body out of its coffin and bury it without. Just make sure to also pee on the body and turn it face down for final burial!
BoredCop t1_ivcdafj wrote
Yes, viewing caskets are a thing. Some old, ornate ones have been used hundreds or even thousands of times.
Chardradio t1_ivc0fa5 wrote
They tried the Pet Semetary thing. Didn't work out.
calloy t1_ivc1rrd wrote
It never does.
TheLaffGaff t1_ivc60js wrote
A coffin? That's the last thing anybody needs.
compuwiza1 t1_ivcq9k0 wrote
Coffins are always popular. People are just dying to use them.
720hp t1_ivcaj4b wrote
I would take anything this news org puts out for public ingestion with three grains of salt. these guys are masters at miswording or taking information out of context. just beware...did someone pawn a casket? probably.
but people also return them to walmart as well long before this economy hit... (I link to this acct but it's not the first time I had heard the recounting of this tale)
https://youtu.be/yLxCYT4Kihw
Billy1121 t1_ivcwclw wrote
Was this used on a Corncob TV show?
> COFFIN FLOP
caninehere t1_ivcws6u wrote
They're sayin' Coffin Flop's not a show. It’s just hours and hours of footage of real people falling out of coffins at funerals.
farfacogin t1_ivcm7rv wrote
Is it styrofoam painted like wood, does it have handles to lower me smooth?
SirRogers t1_ivd347d wrote
The good news is that the gravestone only has minimal typos.
farfacogin t1_ivd3b98 wrote
I got that grave plot right off the highway. Wobble de wobble de drop into my grave plot.
mei740 t1_ivcy7z8 wrote
If you choose to be cremated but have an open casket funeral you rent a casket.
sameth1 t1_ivcgfhy wrote
Is the body sold separately?
TheJollyHermit t1_ivcgqto wrote
Lightly used as upper bunk during occasional goth sleepovers. No sexual activity in coffin, guaranteed. Light drool stain.
GuitarGeezer t1_ivckodq wrote
Just wondering, did the guy who turned it in look like he was wearing an Edgar suit?
E_T_Smith t1_ivcl2jq wrote
Only one owner!
[deleted] t1_ivcp0hv wrote
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SevenSebastian t1_ivcpdrq wrote
Is coffin renting going to be thing now? Like ride share but with a dead grandma? Instead of Lyft, it’s Lower.
chevalier716 t1_ivcqsk3 wrote
Considering how many crypts get neglected or abandoned, I imagine there was plenty of this going on already.
wigzell78 t1_ivcybe1 wrote
Used once, no complaints from previous owner.
erichw23 t1_ivd2jfw wrote
Lol I can tell ya right now people keep ordering 100$s of dollars of shit food from the chain I work at, huge delivery fees, it ain't bad yet.
full_bl33d t1_ivd73kc wrote
Is there a Ralph’s around here?!
Cleatusmuldoon t1_ivdbtb1 wrote
I can give you five dollars. Rick
IProbablyWontReplyTY t1_ivdga1h wrote
Nice loaded headline. No wonder no one's watching NewsNationNow.
lizardfang t1_ivdh9zy wrote
Open box item.
MountainHopper t1_ivdl5r8 wrote
Just not sure if the cohort willing to pawn a coffin is the economic bellwether we think it is.
w0mbatina t1_ivdx8zx wrote
Why not just get cremated?
Rosebunse t1_ivehrk1 wrote
A lot of people who get cremated still want a coffin for a viewing.
Also, and I know this is an unpopular opinion, some of us just do t like the idea of cremation.
w0mbatina t1_ivele62 wrote
>A lot of people who get cremated still want a coffin for a viewing.
Like, the urn is placed in a coffin?
This whole thing with coffins and embalming the dead is so weird to me. I come from a place where the vast majority of people get cremated, and its really unusual to even see a coffin at all. I only saw it once, and never an open one, since I dont even think you can legaly embalm the body.
Rosebunse t1_iveoyyo wrote
I know people who have the viewing, where you see the embalmed body, then after that they take the body to be cremated.
In the US, cremation is definitely more popular, but I guess my problem is just what to do with the body afterwards. I don't really want the cremated remains in my home, partially because I am superstitious.
w0mbatina t1_ivep8z7 wrote
You dont need to keep the urn at home? We just bury it like you would a coffin, except the hole needs to be much smaller. Or you can scatter the ashes in a cool location or whatever.
Rosebunse t1_ivepezg wrote
Most people scatter the ashes. Some people get the big decorative urns and do keep them at home. Fuck, lots of people can't afford an urn and just keep them in the box they came in, which is my worst fear.
Burying the urn, for many people here, defeats the purpose.
Gnace1er t1_ive378w wrote
Why the guy who used it does tneed it anymore?
smithe4595 t1_ivfb6w6 wrote
Good condition, one previous owner
rounder55 t1_ivk9r48 wrote
Only willing to pay at market value if it's been on corncob TV
JethroFire t1_ivbfvx3 wrote
Remember, inflation isn't a big deal.
HandsOnGeek t1_ivc8cxv wrote
Some of us are still trying to chew our way through the shit sandwich that got voted in in 2016.
I don't know about anybody else but I don't have enough bread to not taste the shit.
JethroFire t1_ivc9gnp wrote
It's been like 2 years with a democratic president and both houses of Congress. You gotta move on at some point and focus on current problems....
HandsOnGeek t1_ivca322 wrote
It's the mid terms.
Trump Voters are the current problems.
Them and foreign Trump supporters like Putin.
Edit: As long as Mitch McConnell controls enough of the Senate to prevent a 60 person supermajority, the Democrats do not "control the Senate".
Much to the country's detriment.
JethroFire t1_ivcb399 wrote
Yep, I'm hoping one or both houses of Congress flip. I'm in Pennsylvania and my ballot for Oz is already in :)
Atomhed t1_ivd2mgl wrote
Why?
So the GOP can continue to refuse to allow the government to work for the People?
JethroFire t1_ivd4v6y wrote
Because fetterman has scrambled eggs for brains these days. Even a TV charlatan is better. But it's already been received by the county, and I'm trying to convince everyone else I know to do the same. The red wave will be so satisfying.
Atomhed t1_ivdkhgo wrote
Fetterman has a speech issue, that's what happens with a stroke, people can still think and process things normally.
>The red wave will be so satisfying.
Lol, why?
So you can continue to watch the GOP refuse to allow the government to function and work for you?
So you can spend another congressional cycle wondering why your life doesn't improve?
[deleted] t1_ivdlpqy wrote
[deleted]
WhatTheBeansIsLife t1_ivdioch wrote
Thanks for your contribution making the U.S. even more of a joke.
JethroFire t1_ivdlac0 wrote
No problem! Anything bad for the average redditor is good for the county!
WhatTheBeansIsLife t1_ivdskis wrote
I consider school shootings pretty bad so I guess you conservatives love it!
Atomhed t1_ivd2it7 wrote
48 Dems vs 50 obstructionist Republicans is not control of the Senate.
goosebattle t1_ivbkeii wrote
Can't decide if you're making a joke about bloated corpses or a comment on the economy. Pehaps both?
JethroFire t1_ivburdk wrote
Yes.
IProbablyWontReplyTY t1_ivdgw73 wrote
"Remember, COVID isn't a big deal."
Half of you refused to distance, mask, or vaccinate and now a significant number are either dead or miserable with Long COVID. Pennsyltucky isn't sending their finest.
JethroFire t1_ivdl45k wrote
Biden says it's not a big deal either: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/biden-covid-pandemic-over/
Independent-Record63 t1_ivb51lr wrote
That is a casket, not a coffin.