Submitted by morenewsat11 t3_yd3tb3 in nottheonion
morenewsat11 OP t1_itps852 wrote
A cautionary tale about the perils of soap and water for the elderly.
Dahhhkness t1_itq75j0 wrote
It must've been like that situation with Mr. Burns having every disease but being kept "healthy" by all his ailments canceling each other out.
topbuttsteak t1_itqnntr wrote
"Well not "indestructible", actually the slightest breeze could..."
"Indestructible!"
ididntunderstandyou t1_itrkkkj wrote
Also known as Three Stooges Syndrome
peebo_sanchez t1_ittv3xa wrote
"Move it chowder head"
HvkS7n t1_itqmwjt wrote
That's actually hilarious.
Frosty-Eagle-1296 t1_itsfuld wrote
it's like PEMDAS or something idk haven't watched Elementary School the Musical
andio76 t1_ituxkxa wrote
...even the juvenile diabetes?
MyVoiceIsElevating t1_itq5tqy wrote
On the plus side you’re now the new reigning champ. How’s it feel? (Besides crusty of course)
morenewsat11 OP t1_itq8kfh wrote
According to the article that title now goes to Kailish "Kalau" Singh, who has founded a spiritual practice of baked non-washing.
> Kailash “Kalau” Singh, from a village outside the holy city of Varanasi, had not washed for more than 30 years in an attempt to help end “all the problems confronting the nation”.
> He would reject water in favour of what he called a “fire bath”. “Every evening as villagers gather, Kalau … lights a bonfire, smokes marijuana and stands on a leg praying to Lord Shiva".
Welpmart t1_itqdjoz wrote
Imagine how bad a daily weed smoker and fire-starter who hasn't bathed in 30 years must smell.
peensteen t1_itrd514 wrote
A lot like a crowd at Burning Man.
smurfshoe t1_itrqo79 wrote
Venice Beach drum circle
peensteen t1_itrzlkm wrote
A Dope concert. Yes, they still exist somehow.
Puzzleheaded_Bus246 t1_ituf7u3 wrote
Probably still smells better than burning man. I was thinking Comic-Con
morenewsat11 OP t1_itqemfd wrote
A heady aroma of wet campfire and musty skunk.
cobaltandchrome t1_itrdgxk wrote
Creosote is pretty strong but is it stronger than BO?
PsyFiFungi t1_its4ejt wrote
I love weed. I love bonfires. Hell, I hate to not bath but sometimes I miss a shower or two, depending on how life goes. I barely even have much body odor, people are surprised.
But goddamn, years ago during a deep depression I didn't shower for around 2 weeks. My hair, my skin, it was like a snake shedding, or some invertebrate shedding it's exoskeleton. It all gathers and collects. Also, my balls smelled like ass, and my ass smelled like balls and ass.
Sorry for such a detailed description. My actual point is: collect samples of his body to see the microbial craziness that's going on, hose him down with a giant fire truck's hose, then smoke a giant bowl with MC Dirty Ganja over here
skabamm t1_ituo2j5 wrote
This is what I came to ask!!!
I get making a point. But that man's ballsack has got to be the gnarliest, stinkiest, stickiest grotesque thing on the planet. Right?
AurumArgenteus t1_ittgalz wrote
I want to better mankind like that, too bad it probably isn't effective, especially for paying the bills.
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