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kenlasalle t1_jbjk392 wrote

In a shocking twist, the virus has mutated and turns everyone it infects peaceful and loving.

(lol)

20

bittyboyben t1_jbjnzmq wrote

“In todays top story Scientists were forced to stop drilling today after finding a strange ancient cavern. Reports suggest a giant, realistic Baphomet statue was chained to the floor and walls, which themselves were covered in ancient writing that was revealed to be inked in human infantile blood. Further reports suggest that a strange book was found on a ornate pedestal next to statue which itself was glowing red with what was described as a ‘demonic energy field’. Scientists have taken the book, and are reading it aloud now in an attempt at translation. Further updates at 11”

9

santathe1 t1_jbjr7do wrote

Wake up babe, the new pandemic starter just dropped.

1

SapperInTexas t1_jbjvjad wrote

Terry Pratchett was right. If you constructed a button that would destroy the universe, and painted a sign warning people not to touch it, the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.

10

robotman1956 t1_jbkfarv wrote

Make all politicians take and make it mandatory

2

[deleted] t1_jblt1po wrote

Like we don’t have enough problems already. So why not start playing with some weird prehistoric shit that will probably kill us all?

1