Submitted by RestSnorlax t3_10xwe1c in nottheonion
Comments
ebulient t1_j7w6pg6 wrote
Thanks for the summary, you the real MVP!
Jellyfish-airballoon t1_j7wdjap wrote
Sounds like my ex boyfriend and his mom
EthosPathosLegos t1_j7wxo30 wrote
Your ex's mom would feed him a lot of salmon?
InGenAche t1_j7yj2zo wrote
Not OP but same. My mom would repeatedly headbutt sharks and shit until they stopped putting up a fight then rip open a flap on their stomachs so I could get to the yummy liver.
FuzzleFairy t1_j7yvthp wrote
Hi ! Its rare to meet Orcas on the internet ! Ive had the stereotype yall dont have access to it. Have a good day and lots of yummy liver !
InGenAche t1_j7ywa6i wrote
Who you calling an Orca?!
[deleted] t1_j7ym8rv wrote
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PalmBreezy t1_j7wtpx1 wrote
I hope your doing better now
jrhoffa t1_j7x4hih wrote
Her what?
MaestroPendejo t1_j7x7a9v wrote
Cloaca.
ilive2lift t1_j7x1eti wrote
Lucky guy
sorrylilsis t1_j7x4cfk wrote
Orcas are jewish moms. It's confirmed.
sercommander t1_j80kda8 wrote
I had a jewish girlfried. About a few months into the relationship I knew the struggles of being a jewish son and noped out right away. Too much mothering and control for me.
[deleted] t1_j7ym8j8 wrote
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sixgunbuddyguy t1_j7x24zg wrote
I'd be interested to see what the trend is for mixed sex children. Do they always stop having babies once there's a boy to take care of? What's the relationship between mom/daughter whales?
[deleted] t1_j7wtre7 wrote
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Kaiser_Maxtech t1_j7wvw0z wrote
i feel like most gamers get fed more than enough though and thats the problem with these orcas.
Ok-Hunt-5902 t1_j7wwq6i wrote
Maybe they were fed junk and that has played a part in their inability to thrive.
Kaiser_Maxtech t1_j7wx87e wrote
im a fatass with zero personality who eats nothing but junk but turned out 6'8 and somehow managed to snag love and gain some amount of aspiration and knowledge out of it. If i can do it, an orca can do it better.
Ok-Hunt-5902 t1_j7wzba2 wrote
Concerning the orcas, that’s really not the what the article concludes, from my understanding
vinaymurlidhar t1_j7yrge3 wrote
Thats the spirit, the orca should pull itself by its orca bootstraps and reply on socialist maternal handouts.
DaddyFigured t1_j7y3rny wrote
Kelpbeards
jrhoffa t1_j7x4rs8 wrote
Fewer
CheatsySnoops t1_j7wvcqm wrote
That's super depressing.
Paradox_Dolphin t1_j7wxdoy wrote
It really is. Dolphins and whales are highly intelligent animals, and it's believed they have quite advanced speach. Makes me wonder if they talk about how the oceans aren't providing like they used to. Obviously, they'd have no concept of the fact that a hairless land ape was causing all of this destruction.
But I always wonder why dolphins help and protect humans. There's even records of dolphins helping humans from all the way back in ancient Greece.
And when we eventually translate dolphin language, will we admit that we're the ones causing their food supply problems?
TricksterPriestJace t1_j7wzson wrote
We tried to share a language. The best translation we have of a dolphin phrase is "more handjobs please."
djbuttplay t1_j7x0rsy wrote
They didn't mention the part where when they ended the experiment and the dolphin stopped getting jerked off he drowned himself at the bottom of his tank.
80taylor t1_j7y8wm8 wrote
Is this true?
washington_jefferson t1_j7yak9u wrote
Unfortunately. Here is a good Radiolab podcast: https://radiolab.org/episodes/home-where-your-dolphin
I asked ChatGPT and it said:
> You might be referring to the story of Margaret Howe Lovatt and the experiments she conducted with a bottlenose dolphin named Peter in the 1960s.
> Margaret Howe Lovatt was a researcher who worked with Peter, a captive bottlenose dolphin, as part of a NASA-funded project to explore the possibility of communication between humans and dolphins. The experiments took place on a small island in the Virgin Islands, where Lovatt lived and worked with Peter for several months.
> During the experiments, Peter became sexually aggressive towards Margaret Howe Lovatt, and she claims to have engaged in sexual contact with the dolphin as a way to appease him and maintain a calm and productive living environment for both of them. However, this behavior is considered highly controversial and unethical by the scientific community, and Lovatt has faced criticism for her actions.
> In the end, the experiments were unsuccessful and the project was eventually abandoned. Peter was eventually transferred to another facility, where he died several years later. The story of Margaret Howe Lovatt and Peter the dolphin continues to be a topic of interest and debate in the scientific community, and serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of crossing ethical boundaries in animal research.
So, basically an OG nottheonion story.
Kazahaki t1_j80cs8y wrote
Looking forward to seeing/hearing people say "I asked ChatGPT and it said:" a lot more in the future lol
washington_jefferson t1_j80y637 wrote
Yeah, it might get banned in some subs. One sub I frequent the most involves a lot of international law and domestic policies. ChatGPT makes it wayyyyy easier to help people. Before you had to use bullet points from referral references from Google searches, and now you can just tell ChatGPT to give its answers in bullet point form. The thing is- you have to ask it specific questions and tweak things, and you kind of already have to know the answer that you are asking about. It just saves you time explaining and citing things. If you need actual facts with more certainty you should use google, or ask chatgpt where it's getting it's sources.
[deleted] t1_j7x1402 wrote
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Wagsii t1_j7wyu3h wrote
The great Human/Dolphin War of 2300 creeps closer.
diagnosedwolf t1_j7z3no7 wrote
> Obviously, they have no concept of the fact that a hairless land ape was causing all of this destruction
I wouldn’t be so sure of this. Whales are known to not only understand the impact humans have on their lives, they have changed intergeneral behaviour because of it.
There is a species of whale that used to sing loudly in the Arctic. It was heavily hunted in the 1800s, and thought to be extinct for a while in the 1900s because it wasn’t seen or heard for decades. Only when recording devices were left behind did the whales get “rediscovered”.
It turned out that the whales had straight-up learnt that humans were hunting them in boats, so they went quiet and hid when they perceived human presence. They taught their children how to do this, and every generation since.
Studies with other species of whales showed that they can perceive the difference between a research boat and a whaling ship.
TLDR: whales understand an awful lot
uzenik t1_j7za0ef wrote
So like african elephants that recognoze language that is used by tribes that hunt them, and those that don't.
Paradox_Dolphin t1_j80voy9 wrote
Wow, animal intelligence never stops amazing me.
It is so sad to me that these animals are still hunted. I have this fantasy of working on a whaling ship, and just sabotaging it the entire time. Like, pour olive oil on the deck so people slip. Light nets on fire in the middle of the night. Just make it hell.
laurel_laureate t1_j7x2fk0 wrote
It's believed? By who? Source on this? I'm genuinely curious.
Paradox_Dolphin t1_j7x9j1t wrote
Cetacean Intelligence (there's a section for communication).
It's actually really cool too; Dolphins all have something that researchers call a "signature whistle," which seems very similar to the concept of humans each having a name. And the crazier thing is, for male dolphins, a part of their signature whistle will be taken from their mother's signature whistle, while female dolphins have completely original signature whistles. So this shows not only language, but also suggests culture.
Another awesome example; there are two dolphin species, one generally lives further north while the other lives further south, but they both reproduce around Hawaii. When they meet up around Hawaii, they hunt with each other. The two species generally have vocalizations and hearing abilities that are in a different frequency range, but their frequency ranges have some overlap. So when they hunt together, they switch to making sounds that are in a frequency range that they can both hear/vocalize in. So essentially, they're using a bridge language that neither typically speaks when they're separate.
This next study, I've sadly not heard any updates on, but this company is trying to use ML to translate dolphin language. (they were supposed to have finished the study in 2021, but I never heard more about it. Hoping COVID didn't wreck it.)
villis85 t1_j85qob4 wrote
Paradox_Dolphin t1_j866dpk wrote
So sad it had to come to this
BiPoLaRadiation t1_j7x3dh8 wrote
IE: the evolutionary trend towards k selection vs r selection in orcas is backfiring during the current mass extinction event that is putting excessive pressure on their population numbers. In times of extreme population stress and environmental decline, passing on genes is too uncertain even with large investment in offspring and so a lot of effort is wasted compared to producing more offspring but putting in less effort for each.
TallJournalist5515 t1_j7wi6e8 wrote
One child policy strikes again.
Initial_E t1_j7x4brq wrote
Asking a woman to have more kids instead of fussing over the one they do have is like wading into a minefield.
bubba7557 t1_j7xxsse wrote
My mother did not support this strategy at all. I was given the boot shortly after hs graduation by coming home from work one day to find a greasy smoking guy whitewashing my bedroom walls and telling me my mom had rented out my room to him, my stuff was in the garage. Orca moms need that greasy smoking guy
ma2412 t1_j7yciga wrote
Wow, that's pretty shitty.
bubba7557 t1_j7zjxrp wrote
Yeah it wasn't great. BUT I also was making some poor choices. I had turned down college scholarship offers and didn't apply to college because I didn't want to leave the city where my gf lived. Instead I'd gotten a job at a steel mill and was spending most of my time smoking weed and working. My mom's rationale was, you don't want to go to college fine, but I'm not paying for your housing. You have a job, go be a real man if you think that's the life you want. I did that for about a year and realized real work, real bills, real life was damn hard and I'd rather be back in college where it was reading books and parties even if it was far from that gf I had. So in a year I went back to college and my mom graciously began helping me with housing bills again so I could focus on school. A little bit of a harsh lesson but it pointed me where I needed to go. I just needed a year of being stubborn to figure that out myself.
ma2412 t1_j7zkng9 wrote
Thank you for the context. I'm glad it worked out for you :-)
bubba7557 t1_j7zmdd0 wrote
Believe me, I was pretty resentful at the time and I don't think I'd follow a similar strategy for my kids, but it worked out overall for me and I don't hate my mom for it. So I'd say it was a success in my case
vNerdNeck t1_j7x41rl wrote
can you apply to take this persons job at NPR?
Maximousmiser t1_j80k528 wrote
Seems to be the same problem in the US with humans.
Serikan t1_j7zrks7 wrote
So basically, mom is the wingman
SomeVariousShift t1_j7y82rj wrote
We need to learn to speak orca so we can cooperate with them on better breeding strategies.
TheBr0fessor t1_j7z8rc5 wrote
She a millennial fr
Sryn t1_j7x1mbb wrote
I wanted to skim and my brain read ‘Female orcs …’
BTW Are there any female orcs in LOTR?
Trachslee t1_j7x2mi9 wrote
According to J.R.R. Tolkien there are in fact female orcs. However, they are not seen in battle. Now I imagine an orc counterpart to Eowyn that desperately wants to be warrior and sneaks into battle.
cbunni666 t1_j7xmbdx wrote
So she learned to become human.
PoisonRamune t1_j7us93a wrote
If they quit putting avocado on their salmon, they’d be able to start their own pods
awkward_elephant t1_j7vmwut wrote
Back in my day, whales would just swim into a fjord and get a seal. Have these damn millennial whales tried that? They’re so sheltered these days; they need to pull themselves up by their fin tags.
Sure, we completely destroyed their ecological stability as a result of our unfettered exploitation of resources to fuel our own enjoyment. But I need my shrimp cocktails, goddamnit!
PoisonRamune t1_j7wp14k wrote
Gen-X whales are surprisingly happy and well adjusted. However, they did come from a place where their only representation was Shamu and airbrushed pictures of their kin on hoodies.
orrk256 t1_j7x4bod wrote
I wouldn't call the Pacific psycho fan group there "well-adjusted"
Cronerburger t1_j7wk14m wrote
And the boomer whale blowing up their guts all over the beach. Entitlement
[deleted] t1_j7x2cl1 wrote
Boomer whales are having dementia now as a result of the PTSD from the Valdez spill.
Sweet-Rabbit t1_j7wnu2x wrote
Millennial whales complaining that their current lot is a fluke of the economy.
Would_daver t1_j7wwp0j wrote
They rather just have a stable hunting gig, that's the halibut! The ask isn't tuna-zt...
NotForgetWatsizName t1_j7ym7mr wrote
OTOH, a fluke can be quite tasty.
NotForgetWatsizName t1_j7ylxrq wrote
“… fin tags.”s
To be really accurate, I think they’re called fin straps.
I agree, they need to pull themselves up by their fin straps.
Failing that, I suppose they could use their skin tags to pull themselves up.
[deleted] t1_j7ux4gh wrote
I wonder if orcas have to deal with rising rent prices and stagnated wages.
slothsoutoftrees t1_j7w7q79 wrote
They do but their rent is mediated by lack of housing- or destruction of marine habitat if you're a whale, and their wages are stagnated by the amount of extra effort required to hunt to feed themselves and their families as a result of overfishing. Edit: *overfishing by humans.
Macosaurus92 t1_j7wl3an wrote
TIL I have more in common with killer whales than billionaires
1iIiii11IIiI1i1i11iI t1_j7x9z57 wrote
The wrong thing is endangered.
[deleted] t1_j7wadlj wrote
Damn, makes so much more sense.
Shackxx t1_j7wh246 wrote
Random internet user, you have no right to make me feel this way
chibinoi t1_j7wo56q wrote
They’ve had to deal with warming waters and reduced availability of prey (the Orca equivalent to our ongoing struggles 😭).
PJJefferson t1_j7urius wrote
Helicopter whales.
Defiant-Peace-493 t1_j7v2hr5 wrote
The A-15 Orca is VTOL, but certainly not a 'helicopter'.
(C&C: Tiberium Wars, for those wondering)
Delta_Lantanoir t1_j7x5e2y wrote
It isn't an airplane or jet either though. I don't think there is a real category for a "jet wing". But, it's a bit closer to a helicopter in that its lift is generated by its engines which is similar to how a rotary wing gets lift from the main rotor(s) which is/are directly powered by the engine. On a fixed wing aircraft, the propeller(s) or jet engine(s) give it speed, but do little to nothing for lift. That is why (without major modifications) fixed wing aircraft don't have VTOL capabilities. (For simplicity, we are going to ignore special cases like the Ospry.) All of the lift comes from the wings on a fixed wing aircraft. The engine(s) is/are there to give enough speed to the aircraft for the wings to do their job. That is not how the Orca works. It is true it is not quite a helicopter in that a helicopter is a rotory wing aircraft, but overall, the physics of how it flies would be much more in line with a helicopter than an airplane.
Defiant-Peace-493 t1_j7x7mv2 wrote
Interesting, it looks like it got major revisions through the series. The first one I found ("I know I remember an Orca Gunship from somewhere" phase) has sort-of stub wings, fixed fans in the wings (takeoff assist?), and what I think are pivotable jets (TW vintage). Older TD style, as you say, is pretty much a heli form factor aside from the turbofans. One of the developers is Lancaster Lifting Body, which might imply that the hull is an airfoil, which could push it back towards plane.
I assume this has been discussed several times by now in the community!
Would_daver t1_j7wwysj wrote
I partially got the reference...I like my fighters stationary in the air
BassAddictJ t1_j7xus2e wrote
OG C&C
SmokinJunipers t1_j7umjim wrote
Capitalism isn't working for them either. Less food in the sea, we need to take down these dams and do other things to boost salmon numbers.
Shot-Spray5935 t1_j7v9mss wrote
That's what happens when you remove borders between oceans and allow those Indian ocean and South China Sea guys swim around.
gordo65 t1_j7wp2zr wrote
r/LateStageCetaceanism
derycksan71 t1_j7vjx07 wrote
You mean the dams built by the US Army Corps of Engineers? Or the ones run by BC Hydro. I know it's cool to bash capitalism here but ffs, these hydro electric dams that block salmon spawning from CA to Alaska are primarily built and owned by the state, not "capitalism"
HelenAngel t1_j7vlywn wrote
I personally am a fan of the salmon cannons here in the PNW that allow for both hydro power & keep salmon healthy. Apparently the salmon enjoy it as well.
LePouletMignon t1_j7vw20t wrote
>these hydro electric dams that block salmon spawning from CA to Alaska are primarily built and owned by the state, not "capitalism"
Yes, and? Nation states are some of the most hardcore capitalists lol.
yukon-flower t1_j7wgatb wrote
And a shitty dam is still a shitty dam!
Great_Hamster t1_j7x7klo wrote
That is literally not capitalism.
madhatmatt2 t1_j8067vh wrote
Yes,and? A socialist or communist country has the ability to dam rivers too not sure why this being blamed on capitalism and not lack of environmental education and disregard for the long term effects of not giving a shit about the consequences of our actions.
derycksan71 t1_j7w5hnd wrote
So public ownership of the resources and production of services...is capitalism? These are blended markets, some aspects such as publicly owned utilities, are implementation of socialism. It's not a negative.
LePouletMignon t1_j7ww3fj wrote
>So public ownership of the resources and production of services...is capitalism?
Just because something is owned by the state does not mean it isn't a part of some capitalist scheme. The state is an actor like everyone else that is free to engage in capitalist endeavours. There are countless infrastructures that don't benefit the public in any way even though, on paper, the public "owns" these structures.
The state is often a key perpetrator in processes involving extracting capital and resources while providing nothing in return for the local communities. This is called extractivism and is as far away from socialism as you can get.
derycksan71 t1_j7x3aiv wrote
Scheme....ok. capitalism bad I get it.
jspangles313 t1_j7wvo6m wrote
Yeah but something something Europe comrade Bernie Sanders both sides bad.
[deleted] t1_j7wamsx wrote
The guy you're responding to is the type to go burn down a small business and then claim they "stuck it to the man" without realizing they just ruined another middle class person's life.
Ritz527 t1_j7wuf4j wrote
Kind of tired of this braindead "everything bad is capitalism" circlejerk Reddit has. As if public services don't regularly fuck shit up lol.
littlebirdori t1_j7yj39h wrote
Why do they fuck things up though? I'd wager the answer is usually to reduce expenses and generate more revenue, both of which are aims of capitalism.
Hospitals and utility companies are supposed to be "public goods." As it turns out, market pressures incentivizing these entities to profit unconditionally from a populace utterly dependent on their services isn't very good for the public.
geckobrother t1_j7v2oql wrote
The dams aren't killing the salmon. It's the rising global temperature.
TheBalrogofMelkor t1_j7v5z22 wrote
Dams reduce how much of their breeding streams the salmon can access. Warming streams mean less oxygen for the eggs as well, and overfishing is yet another factor.
Dams definitely hurt them though
geckobrother t1_j7v73vw wrote
They do, but over the last 50 years, we've developed vastly better dams and systems to help offset their effects. I wouldn't say dams don't reduce salmon population, but it's I'm the 5-10% range, as opposed to global warming which has pushed the 15-20% mark already, and is likely to continue to increase.
Throw-a-Ru t1_j7w8jql wrote
>They do, but over the last 50 years, we've developed vastly better dams and systems to help offset their effects.
We have the technology, sure, but that doesn't mean that old dams were retrofitted, nor does it mean that the new technology was installed properly. For instance, at least one dam I know of has a salmon ladder that's easily 100' above the water line.
geckobrother t1_j7wrpm8 wrote
Depends on the state. Where I live (Oregon), we do retrofit. But we're a pretty pro-fish and nature state.
Throw-a-Ru t1_j80nl86 wrote
Unfortunately, the Columbia River Basin is blocked at several points before it ever gets to Oregon. At least one of the dams blocking the river is one that provides power to Oregon.
Akasadanahamayarawa t1_j7w9xek wrote
I mean… its both. After dams are removed Salmon populations skyrocket as does biodiversity and general natural health of the area as keystone species can now spawn further and die upstream. Not to mention steelhead populations.
geckobrother t1_j7wruvw wrote
Yes, dams kill some. But that amount (with technology and design) has shrunk dramatically, and global warming fish issues have just kept on rising.
Picolete t1_j7v5ii4 wrote
It's the chinese predating the seas
geckobrother t1_j7v5s7p wrote
China doesn't really hunt whales. Japan still does, though.
Picolete t1_j7v6q8b wrote
Im not talking about whales, im talking about whale food
geckobrother t1_j7v7mup wrote
Ah, gotcha. Japan still outstrips them there, too, sadly. And China still isn't even on the top 10 salmon producers. It's almost all Norway and Chile.
yukon-flower t1_j7wgiil wrote
I see this but about Japanese whaling a lot but without reference to what whales are being caught (and how much or little they are endangered species), nor what other whaling countries are doing.
It’s not like Japan is harvesting Great Blues on the daily. They’re mostly little guys only a few feet long, or smaller.
geckobrother t1_j7wt7x5 wrote
I mean, not many other countries whale at at. Canada, Iceland, Japan, Norway, Russia, South Korea, the United States and the Danish dependencies of the Faroe Islands and Greenland are the only ones that do in modern times. Most of those are aboriginal whaling as well, meaning done by the natives of the lands. Commercial hunting is only done by Norway, Japan, Iceland, and South Korea.
Japan and Norway constitute 82% of that commercial whaling roughly.
Blue whales, as of now, are not hunted. The Internationak Whaling Commission has had a moratorium on hunting them and other great whales since 1985.
So yeah, its mostly Japan and Norway lol.
yukon-flower t1_j7wtwc3 wrote
Yep, exactly. Japan is not alone and they are not whaling endangered species. People overblow it.
geckobrother t1_j7wve10 wrote
They're not aline, they're one of 2 really. It is a bit overblown, but most of the species are either threatened or near threatened, depending on the list. It's not great to over hunt them, which is why the IWC was made. Most whales are on the road to recovery, which is good.
As I said, it's a bit overblown, but people tend to get that way about conservation
yukon-flower t1_j7wx5rn wrote
Fair enough!
aaronappleseed t1_j7vahzd wrote
Fucking millennial orcas are ruining the housing market because they are spending too much on crabby patties!
redstern t1_j7wmt8a wrote
Also going to the whale wash every day. That adds up.
jadenedaj t1_j7uv2q4 wrote
Is this a personal attack? ._.
ThePreciseClimber t1_j7v4ual wrote
It DOES sound like a "Yo mama" joke.
Ahelex t1_j7x0jdi wrote
"Stunning Discovery: Biologists solve mystery of "Yo mama" joke origin"
NotForgetWatsizName t1_j7ymyrq wrote
Yo mama eats squid by the 10-kilo.
gordo65 t1_j7woqvc wrote
>Weiss can't think of another animal that makes this never-ending investment when it has the option of reproducing multiple times.
Oh, keep thinking Dr. Weiss. I'm sure another example will come to you.
NotForgetWatsizName t1_j7ymiyk wrote
Hint, Dr. Weiss, it’s also a mammal, but based on land rather than water, and often wears shoes.
ianmccisme t1_j7x0t9y wrote
Orcas and humans are some of the only mammal species where females go through menopause. In most species, females are fertile until they die. This help that females are able to give to their offspring and grandchildren when older seems to be the evolutionary reason.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-new-theory-for-why-killer-whales-go-through-menopause/
_Rainer_ t1_j7wvl4p wrote
So they had a successful strategy, and humans have screwed up their environment to such a degree that it's now a problem. That's a bummer.
Fluffy_Mood5781 t1_j7vv782 wrote
“Cheryl’s son already has his own seal hunting business.”
ConstipatedNinja t1_j7v8kg5 wrote
Thanks killer whale moms 😭
I can only imagine what goes into the development of an intelligent creature made of tens of quadrillions of cells. Human brains don't stop developing in really major ways until we're 25ish, and there's far fewer cells that need to get situated and settled in a human brain, even if our brain wrinkles are neater.
Guywithoutimage t1_j7wvfpl wrote
Isn’t this what they’ve always done tho? Orchas are matriarchal, with usually a strong grandma heading the pod
kaffeine69 t1_j7vsf3g wrote
In this economy!?
lazy_phoenix t1_j7vks65 wrote
Maybe I am a killer whale
two16gs t1_j7wkq50 wrote
So whales have manchildren too?
DNA2020 t1_j7v1dum wrote
What else are they supposed to do?
Shot-Spray5935 t1_j7v9ua4 wrote
Kick them out of the ocean.
zihuatapulco t1_j7wnd3k wrote
As if a species that routinely engages in domestic violence and the brutalizing and killing of their own children could possibly have the capacity to understand Orca pod family dynamics.
frwrdnet t1_j7xvlwa wrote
So Killer Whale moms are… moms.
SourdoughPizzaToast t1_j7wh4nr wrote
Dolphins literally hoarding all the wealth amd continue to get wealthier. So sad.
AngelVirgo t1_j7x278h wrote
I feel there’s a reason for this maternal behaviour. There’s far less food in the ocean so mum has to help supply food to her forever pup.
shanvanvook t1_j7x3kpw wrote
They just want to play squideo games.
HeftyLittleChonk t1_j7ymevo wrote
Today I learned, killer whale are Asian.
darkside1911 t1_j7w0p1y wrote
A mamma's boy that one.
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_j7wp0w2 wrote
Guess Moby Dick's not the only one going to Starbuck too much
Undying4n42k1 t1_j7x1f4b wrote
Sounds like those enabler moms that have 400lb sons that don't even leave the house.
Onewarmguy t1_j7x2w8i wrote
Sounds like a lot of human parents that I know.
dolphan117 t1_j7xit0u wrote
Dang. Even the killer whales can’t raise sons that can support themselves.
coleslawww307 t1_j7z918a wrote
The Y chromosome causes laziness among all species
bubba7557 t1_j7xxl9a wrote
They are about to get a new TLC show about his failure to launch
Enlightened-Beaver t1_j7y67xx wrote
Are the whales Jewish, Italian or Greek?
dbernard456 t1_j7w0bjk wrote
Nature : older generations are sacrifiable if it means better survival of the newest generation.
Genetic information must flow.
filthy_pink_angora t1_j7w64di wrote
Except for without enough breeding females it will not flow anywhere
Balcara t1_j7yv4iv wrote
> Weiss can't think of another animal that makes this never-ending investment when it has the option of reproducing multiple times.
What about, oh I don’t know, humans?
warbreakr t1_j7yzure wrote
Fun fact: killer whales are currently attacking pleasure craft yachts near the coast of Portugal, biting the rudder off and sinking ships. They seem to prefer yachts about 40 foot or 12 meters long and their behaviour is not natural so scientists’ best guess is that its passed on behaviour from one or two killer whales to the rest of the groups
jackduloz t1_j7vpvcg wrote
Fucking Neets
cpops000 t1_j7wgjsa wrote
These damn interspecies millenials
LadyStag t1_j7ww10v wrote
The largest of adult sons.
SnooComics8268 t1_j7wzrsq wrote
Well at least they don't go find a wife to replace their mom.
DarthArtero t1_j7x3vxo wrote
So helicopter parents exist elsewhere in the animal kingdom?
ScoobySergg t1_j7z38wp wrote
Shoutout to moms
[deleted] t1_j7vra90 wrote
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Bullehh t1_j7wopyz wrote
TIL that my grandmother is a killer whale.
MontEcola t1_j7wtmnz wrote
Is whales imitating human life? or are humans imitating whales?
JDragonblade t1_j7x2wfo wrote
damn NEETs
iceynyo t1_j7x64di wrote
That's NEET
Aengeil t1_j7xbjip wrote
Even orca family had it rough this inflation
DarkRedDiscomfort t1_j7y6ry2 wrote
Why not just say orca? My English is perfectly good but I admit that "killer whale moms" took me a while. Had to go over it a few times.
2theface t1_j7yu1pu wrote
Omilfs
Monk-E_321 t1_j7ydrkg wrote
Huh. I thought we already learned that a “One Child Policy” was a bad idea.
Ightone t1_j7yege4 wrote
If they weren’t orcas I would have thought NPR was covering a story about two of my cousins. But replace grandchildren calves with a game app that didn’t go anywhere.
Ikiahav t1_j7yekqi wrote
Are these whales Irish?
[deleted] t1_j7yidwy wrote
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Bradc42 t1_j7z604o wrote
The woke mind virus has spread to orcas? Damn that stuff is contagious.
bigsignwave t1_j7zcxqf wrote
“JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!” I guess even Killer Whales have their baby mama drama, what’s next Moory?? DNA says “You are the father of those babies”
Upset_Ad9929 t1_j7znof3 wrote
Wow, neckbeard orcas lol
jdsekula t1_j7zwptp wrote
Damn, onioniest headline in a while. I’m literally tearing up.
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Bumm_by_Design t1_j7ulakq wrote
Gen Z...
jacksonpsternin t1_j7vmazj wrote
Yeah fuck whatever generations come after mine, they’re the damn problem
PsychologicalTear899 t1_j7w0fsz wrote
TLDR: Female orcas are helping their sons find more food, resulting in the sons possibly growing larger and stronger, thus becoming a more desirable mate, so the male can smash a ton of other females whose kids his mother doesn't even have to raise, so technically she directly gives herself more grandkids, although it's not working out well right now because the orca population is low and it would be better if that female orca had multiple kids herself instead of raising just 1 and waiting for grandkids.