Submitted by nimobo t3_115qvdm in nottheonion
Comments
SilenceAmongTheBooks t1_j93qmnc wrote
I think he's had enough burns already, don't add to his pain.
e4evie t1_j93pq6u wrote
Chris P. Richard
damnburglar t1_j93zune wrote
Chris P. Johnson
brphysics t1_j93z8cn wrote
Epic comment thank you.
bigjayrod t1_j96s6ox wrote
Careful now, his name is Sam Mouzer. snipers could be anywhere
whatproblems t1_j96wj9d wrote
he’s just living up to his name
[deleted] t1_j943fpx wrote
[deleted]
[deleted] t1_j95vhr7 wrote
[deleted]
5degreenegativerake t1_j976bt6 wrote
Richard B. Toasted.
JordanComoElRio t1_j93sw88 wrote
Naked and Aflame
Binky390 t1_j94osom wrote
This made me cackle. Thanks hilarious stranger.
JordanComoElRio t1_j9k5u9j wrote
You are welcome!
PydraxAlpta t1_j9jchvy wrote
Hascus t1_j94yicc wrote
“The clip, published by TMZ on Wednesday, shows Mouzer and Jammerbund sleeping close to an open flame when Mouzer suddenly screams out in pain. Hot coal popped from the fire and landed on the tip of Mouzer's penis. "One of said coals has landed on my... um... little soldier's helmet," Mouzer told the camera as he tried to keep his droll sense of humor alive. "I'm going to look like I got hit with buckshot when I get home," Mouzer added.
Thankfully, a brave medic was on the scene to make sure Mouzer's injury did not cause an infection. He acted jokingly surprised that the medic only needed a small Q-tip. "Obviously, we need everything extra large," Mouzer joked. The medic helped Mouzer just in time and did everything to relieve his pain.”
So unlike the comments suggesting this no he did not literally burn his dick off
YuanBaoTW t1_j96oj2t wrote
>So unlike the comments suggesting this no he did not literally burn his dick off
Hey now. Let's give it time. This won't be the last open flame of the show.
SomebodyInNevada t1_j978pwx wrote
Yeah, I was trying to understand how you could get a burn without waking up first, but a flying bit could do it.
UnfinishedProjects t1_j9awdsd wrote
The contestant stated: does anyone smell sausage?
restore_democracy t1_j938eig wrote
He had the naked down, apparently was not afraid enough.
UnovaLife t1_j96uzix wrote
I’m sure he’s afraid now, problem solved!
Throwaway08080909070 t1_j9352kn wrote
There's a special kind of stupid, and then there's burning your cock off.
rimjobnemesis t1_j93x61f wrote
It’s a Weenie Roast. And now it’s time for s’mores.
gumby1004 t1_j975s70 wrote
Vienna sausage
The-loon t1_j94fzfw wrote
Host - contestant was successful in making a fire and gathering food to flourish. Ultimately his PSR lowered to a 1.2 for burning his dick off in the woods though.
Dependent_Yesterday9 t1_j935dg5 wrote
"Goodness, gracious..."
Unit147 t1_j94y788 wrote
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Piano solo
FjordExplorher t1_j9bqfc9 wrote
Petite peen of pyro!
TheGreatYoRpFiSh t1_j9378b8 wrote
Don’t put a shriveled twig next to a fire unless you want it to burn
zerostar83 t1_j93u4y6 wrote
I'm sure it was fine until it grew in his sleep
TheGreatYoRpFiSh t1_j93y13n wrote
And that’s why you never assume the fire is out, you always make sure.
It might grow.
Matthew_A t1_j9471uv wrote
I don't think he was talking about the fire growing
TheGreatYoRpFiSh t1_j9556qh wrote
;)
Masticatron t1_j92ygjc wrote
r/dontputyourdickinthat
HollowRacoon t1_j930xif wrote
Well he is naked and afraid, and now burned
Dudes_Abiding t1_j930yif wrote
Hot head.
Port-a-John-Splooge t1_j94byeo wrote
TMZ has the video of it
Ejacksin t1_j951sxp wrote
That reminds me of the episode where the guy got a sunburn on his penis and was worthless for the rest of the time.
SomebodyInNevada t1_j978uv8 wrote
Yeah, sunburn strikes me as a serious issue in many of the places they put the contestants. Forest is one thing but when they're in the open...
knottylittlebirb t1_j99dexr wrote
Cancer. Lovely.
OhanianIsTheBest t1_j938y5i wrote
What? He cooked his own sausage?
Joe4o2 t1_j94y1eo wrote
A true survivalist. This guy collected firewood in his sleep.
NinjaSquib t1_j94qxs3 wrote
I'm straight but I gotta admit that guy's dick was so hot.
RabidBeaverLake t1_j92zx8g wrote
Ouch
Trolodrol t1_j95vkuj wrote
I have a friend that got a tick on his dick when camping. Another buddy ended up burning it off of him with a cigarette
Rocketman7171 t1_j93o9be wrote
Unwanted Winnie roast.
ch33s3brgr t1_j93rb9d wrote
Boom roasted.
theRealMrBrownstone t1_j94ghhm wrote
Was it in the morning?
AreWeThereYet61 t1_j94jc5i wrote
Well, that'll be an awkward moment for the rest of his life.
No baby, I like the lights off.
Avethle t1_j94lhki wrote
bruh
Korean_Sandwich t1_j94lpxh wrote
hotdog now
Meanderingversion t1_j94m12x wrote
His name was Robert Paulson
naugasnake t1_j94w1hc wrote
Burning...hot...flesh.
tracerhaha t1_j94w894 wrote
He had a weenie roast in his sleep.
RPDRNick t1_j96z18d wrote
Foreskin to fireskin. Circumsizzled.
dedwards024 t1_j94lwh9 wrote
Must have been really horny to try and have sex with fire
knottylittlebirb t1_j99dgs3 wrote
Gotta have a great pull out game.
Koffeekage t1_j94mh0m wrote
The female has a youtube channel, Survival Lilly.
virgilreality t1_j94nv5v wrote
Must have totally misread that "Hot Milfs In Your Area" ad.
lennyxiii t1_j94u19p wrote
I prefer the show alone. Naked and afraid just felt too fake to me. I bet they feed them off camera too.
bozitybozitybopzebop t1_j94wz29 wrote
Have you watched all the people who don't make it?
I don't think that's acting.
SomebodyInNevada t1_j97996p wrote
My understanding is that it's one of the most realistic reality shows out there. They're not truly alone but other than providing medical care and evacuation should they tap out the crew pretty much doesn't intervene. (And if they do it's things like one guy who didn't give a hoot about the nudity and they asked him to be a bit more discreet because it was making things so hard on the camera crew to get stuff that could be aired.)
zoot_boy t1_j94uz13 wrote
See.. that leaf would take care of you. 👀🤠
krldrummerboy t1_j950fbf wrote
his member caught a burning ember
Enschede2 t1_j9586si wrote
Turns out he was right to be afraid
Shot-Spray5935 t1_j95a3wp wrote
Now he just needs a fine lady who loves putting icecubes in her mouth.
I-do-the-art t1_j95bwy0 wrote
Rumor has it this is his grandpop
sharksnut t1_j95bzhg wrote
When you're starving to death, roasted penis isn't the worst protein option
doctorwhoobgyn t1_j95ce0t wrote
Naked and Flambèd
AshgarPN t1_j95skdn wrote
The big news here is that this show is still on.
UraeusCurse t1_j965ulr wrote
So?
emwashe t1_j968jq6 wrote
That would mean he was legit naked and afraid
ErectionDenier2024 t1_j96qiu8 wrote
My wife and I watch his partner, Lilly's, videos on YouTube a lot. She's pretty decent but being in the US southwest is completely out of her element.
Oughta be a good episode!
ramanujam t1_j971rx7 wrote
Naked and afraid and roasted now
DrSanjizant t1_j978vfa wrote
Coulda been worse.
It coulda been a burnin' "ring of fire"
[deleted] t1_j98ggl2 wrote
[deleted]
resfan t1_j9a4ss0 wrote
Probably looking to score a sick new skin graft extension
justhavingfunMT t1_j9dgbxy wrote
My penis is usually kind of tucked when I'm sleeping. Was he sleeping with a boner and passed out drunk or whacked out on some benzo or opiate. I wake up if something was heating my penis up just a little bit.
3woodx t1_j9dqbkx wrote
The dude is either hung like a horse or a little field mouse. Back to the fire mate, not your balls. 🔥
Lucid_Duck t1_j94axwc wrote
Firecrotch detected. Redhead confirmed.
Existentialidiot83 t1_j94lg66 wrote
🤣🤣🤣🤣
ALincolnTime t1_j932du9 wrote
Chris P. Dick, I believe his name was