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sandwichcrackers t1_j5t0p54 wrote

Reply to comment by Phoenix4235 in The women in my family give birth differently by EaPAtbp

Have you ever given birth? I did, three times.

The first I was blessedly unconscious for, emergency C-section that they couldn't move me to put in a spinal block, but the healing was pretty painful.

The second was unmedicated vaginal and so ridiculously painful that I figured out why they don't keep the scalpels within reach of the birthing mother. I crapped myself and split to my rectum, worst pain I've ever imagined. Worse experience but better time healing.

The third was another emergency C-section but not as serious and they talked me into being awake "for the health of the baby". Worst experience of the three. I couldn't feel myself breathe and was very nauseated but was terrified if I threw up while I was literally and held open, my organs would fall out or something. The healing was far worse this time too.

Why in the world do humans keep making more humans when the only way to get them out is unimaginable pain and tearing or getting major abdominal surgery that they insist you be awake for?

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Lisylis t1_j5td9yl wrote

Honestly this comment was more unsettling than the actual post, jesus christ. The fear of your organs falling out plus not being able to feel yourself breathing is so horrific.

Not to detract from the actual post but wow

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sandwichcrackers t1_j5tg7vx wrote

Listen to me, it's so important that you understand this. If you're ever in the position that you have to have a C-section and you have the option to be knocked out for it, DO IT. It is so much nicer to be thinking of your little ones with a little mask over your face, counting back from 10, then gently wake up to your surgeon telling you how it went.

Far better than desperately annoying the anesthesiologist about your oxygen saturation because you don't think you're breathing, you're trembling between the meds and discomfort and anxiety, you're flat on a table with your arms tied down and a bunch of strangers standing over you like you're a frog in science class, and requesting cold clothes to keep the nausea at bay long enough for them to put all your organs back and close you up. I hated everything about it and it was honestly the experience that closed the deal that I would never have another child no matter what.

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Lisylis t1_j5tph3b wrote

I had a friend tell me about her C-section and a reflective surface above the bed meant she could see the doctors take her organs out of the places they belong to get the baby out, and dear Jesus I was already planning on not having kids but between your story and hers I am even more not going to have them now. My ovaries have withered up and died. I am so impressed you had three, what a horrifying experience.

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sandwichcrackers t1_j5tviix wrote

It's not for everyone, don't let anyone make you feel obligated to reproduce. I don't regret it for a second because I know and love my children, but between pregnancy (btw, little known fact, you commonly can't take full breaths late in pregnancy because there's a human pressing on your lungs and it scares the crap out of you to not be able to breathe deeply) and birth, it's the most damaging thing I've ever done to my body and has left serious scars on my mind.

Would I endure it all again to have my children? Yes. Would I have done it if you told me what I would go through before I became pregnant the first time with no knowledge of who my children are today? Absolutely not.

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Littlebird456 t1_j5wbajy wrote

I too was talked into being awake for my c-section against my better judgment and concur. Some places, they do most c-sections under general anesthesia. Personally, I would still much rather a c-section than the alternative. But although I love my kid it was still the worst day of my life.

There’s so much talk about population decline. It’s true that a lot of it is economic and due to poor supports for families. But I think at least some of it (more than society is willing to acknowledge) has to do with the fact that lots of women want to avoid the horrors of pregnancy and birth. Which is entirely rational, IMO.

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PumpkinDandie_1107 t1_j5wqwjm wrote

My wife had an emergency c-section with our son. She was awake and didn’t see anything, but I saw them pull her intestines out and put them back in. I almost passed out. It’s crazy that they can do that to people and they survive.

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Waste_Relationship46 t1_j5xh8qv wrote

You don't normally have the option. Going under is strictly for emergency situations.

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sandwichcrackers t1_j5xjeby wrote

Normally, if it's that much of an emergency, you're knocked out anyways, rather than wait for a spinal block.

With my first, I couldn't be moved, with the second, they said the baby was in distress but they still pushed for me to get the spinal and be awake because general anesthesia can depress breathing and stuff in the newborn. They had a good point, but if I had to do it over, I'd be knocked out instead.

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Phoenix4235 t1_j5u9h5e wrote

Yeah, but OP said their family/neighborhood is s so traumatized by it that the parents (especially the mothers) despise their children and won't really raise them.

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silver1q2w3e t1_j5teovn wrote

The process behind making humans feels nice and people have natural instincts to want to raise younglings.

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sandwichcrackers t1_j5tffyr wrote

You forget the most important part, that those hormones and natural instincts cause you to bond with children and brainwash yourself into thinking that it won't be a horrid experience to bring them into the world (pregnancy and birth were terrible for me, but I love my kids).

I find it strange that OP's species as a whole didn't evolve the proper hormones to overcome the trauma of birth and what their newborns originally look like.

Though it seems like some did. After all, the birth she got to watch was the 5th birth of the mother, and she volunteered to be observed, meaning she must have some level of comfort with the process. Perhaps they should simply allow nature to take it's course and allow those that don't want to birth to just not birth.

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silver1q2w3e t1_j5th0z1 wrote

I'm guessing OP is some form of demi human. Not all creatures love their young. Many even starve or murder some of them. Perhaps the more reptilian side is what's favored here so when they turn out more human it messes with the mother's maternal instincts. Given the human side though as time would move on more human maternal instincts are bound to show assuming the crossbreed.

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sandwichcrackers t1_j5tn3y8 wrote

I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense evolution-wise, though I like your idea. Animals that don't instinctually care for their young have young that can survive independently. Animals that have defenseless young don't tend to abandon them the way OP says is the norm for her species. Sure, a few are bad parents, but that removes those instinctual behaviors from the gene pool, reinforcing instinctual good parenting behaviors. If that wasn't the case, they never would've made it long enough to become civilized.

I suspect this is something supernatural, that their ancestors were normal humans that became possessed by something in order to produce these unnatural behaviors.

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Outrageous_Word_2458 t1_j5tz0ru wrote

THIS!! Mother of 3. Last one almost killed me, and yet 6 years later I’m begging my hubby for number 4! I remember how awful it all was. I spent the first 3 days after my c-section in so much pain I couldn’t move. Don’t get me wrong, if hurt NOT to move, but it hurt MORE to move so much as my arm. And because I’m American and every doctor just assumes you’re lying about pain, even after having your stomach sliced open down to your womb and your insides on your outsides a while. It was some of the worst pain of my life and it took me over 6 weeks to heal enough the pain didn’t spike hard enough to make me gasp and practice my breathing if I moved wrong.

But hormones. And I love all kids so much. I’ll heal, but if hubby wants the next one to be the last one he should ask me if I want another one while they’re in there and at that point I’d absolutely consent to a hysterectomy.

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