Hi, I just have to get this out somewhere. Maybe I’ll connect with someone who’s been through this, or knows how to end it and get those involved prosecuted.

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Last year, I (34/M) used to drive for Uber. I met this girl who I started frequently driving, she was cute and fun and made me laugh. Eventually she starts selling me weed, we exchange numbers, and one thing led to the next, she becomes my girlfriend.

Things are great at first, but rapidly go down hill. She becomes incredibly demanding, manipulative, is completely narcissistic, starts doing meth, has no interest in stopping, and then becomes physically abusive. I realize there’s no saving this relationship, and I break up with her.

Immediately she starts driving by my house slowly (and repeatedly) with her high beams on, and getting multiple, multiple other people (friends of hers and people she meets at bars) to do the same. These are cars I recognize from when we were on good terms, not a paranoid delusion I made up. I filmed over 12 hours of her constant harassment and took many, many pictures (180 GB in total).

I ended up in a psyche ward, twice actually (both times voluntary), but they could not help me, because I’m not schizophrenic, this is really happening.

I was followed to work, every single day, and followed home by her and a convoy of cars and SUV’s that I’d recognize everywhere — I even started memorizing and writing down license plates.

She herself is 5’3”, 108 lb., not very intimidating, but she is a prolific liar and manipulator. I’m sure she’s made up horrible things about me to gain influence, plus she’s kind of hot, and very, very charismatic. Everyone who follows me is a man, since she cannot maintain friendships with other women. These are men who are desperate and want to sleep with her, trying to be the hero.

I moved, there was a brief period of time (September to early December) where it stopped, but then she found out where I live, and it began again, this time increasing in hostility.

I’ve called the police hundreds of times, I have an RFA against her (that she violates every day), the police never catch her. I’ve dealt with about 5-6 police departments, and I think they can’t stand me anymore. I don’t get taken seriously. I regret having a few angry outbursts with the police right around the time I submitted my evidence in, and they didn’t look at it or pull the security footage I told them to pull from a store my ex was in at the same time I was — I know because I called the store and they told me the police ever asked for the footage.

I’ve felt like I’m going crazy, yes, I’ve questioned my sanity A LOT. My own mother (who I just recently started talking to again) is horrified, doesn’t believe me, and thinks I should “seek help” — even though I already have, and a therapist and medication is not what I need, because I’m being tortured by actual people, it’s not a figment of my imagination.

I lost my job two weeks ago due to the all-consuming paranoia, and my increasing sensitivity to being stalked and followed everywhere I go.

I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown, I’ve worked with every service possible. My biggest fear is lashing out on one of the cars and it being the wrong car, sending me to jail for a long time. I’ve had to show incredible restraint throughout this entire ordeal, because I keep hoping that THIS clip will nail her, or THIS license plate will be the one that gets her locked up etc.

I know I’m right, I know I am, in my heart of hearts. The whole idea behind it is to get me to slip up and hurt the wrong person, or get institutionalized, or go to prison, or even kill myself. It’s constant, subtle, horrible harassment that is very, very hard to prove.

I can go into what they do if you want, but I’m also really scared that someone will see this and do it to someone else. It’s sadistic, and it’s the most fucking evil thing I’ve ever experienced. This is still ongoing, and it’s taking everything I’ve got to stay sane.

There’s people out there who claim they’re being followed by helicopters or that the government is tracking them or whatever — I DON’T THINK THAT. I’m not someone the government would even be interested in. It’s my ex-girlfriend and people she manipulates. I know exactly how she does it, the only thing I have no idea of is why she’s so dedicated to this, or how she’s got so many other people to be so invested in it with her.

I’ve seen a few videos of other sane people on YouTube who are going through what I’m going through, which somewhat comforting, even though I feel horrible for them.

It’s called ‘organized stalking,’ or ‘community harassment.’ If you look up ‘gang stalking,’ you’ll just find a bunch of paranoid schizophrenics talking about microchips and helicopters, and people thinking they’re being followed by 100 police cars etc., which again, IS NOT ME.

I don’t know why I’m posting this, I don’t even think anyone can help me. I just want people to know it’s a real thing, and it’s an absolute life-draining nightmare. If anyone out there has experienced this, please feel free to message me. There’s nothing where I live as far as support goes for this kind of thing, especially for men.

It’s good this place is called r/nosleep, because that’s what I’m getting.