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LeXRTG t1_j6m6ccg wrote

If they aren't doing anything to physically hurt you, or ruin your reputation, why are you so paranoid? The reason she's doing it is because she knows it will get to you. If you just ignored her and her friends and lived your life as if they didn't exist, they would probably get bored and go fuck off somewhere. They're doing it to get a rise out of you, and you're playing right into their hands. Once you stop reacting, it will completely defeat the purpose for her. Don't let her force you into slipping up. Completely ignore them and it will force her to slip up or do something drastic to get your attention, at which point she gets nailed for it, game over, you win.

Side note: I would never put my hands on a woman but if anyone ever punched me hard enough that I got a black eye I would lay them out as a reflex. I don't care if it's a man, woman, or apache attack helicopter. I respect women and I would never be abusive but I expect that same respect in return. She really crossed the line there

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Feeling-Bed-9506 OP t1_j6nk74i wrote

One time I did hit her back eventually, but this is after we broke up. She showed up to get the rest of her stuff, and instead of showing up alone, she showed up with six people and jumped me. Stole my gun and my car keys. Yes the police got the gun back. When I was surrounded by them, I finally had had enough, you don’t take a motherfucker’s gun.

So I backed up towards my house and she kept following me and hitting me over and over, and getting worse and worse and I was holding this bright ass metal flashlight and I thought ”You know what? Fuck it,” and I cracked her in the side of the face with it. It felt so good. Before that, I never DREAMED I would hit a woman ever in my life, and I never will again... but I also never dreamed I’d date a complete monster like her who would hit me, either.

I’ve tried ignoring it. It doesn’t make a difference, she and her friends do it anyway. If I don’t leave the house, they park somewhere visible with their lights on so I can see them. They follow me around whenever I leave the house no matter how I react. I know she gets more out of it when I scare them by acting more aggressive, but if I don’t, they just do it anyway.

No offense but it sounds like you’re giving advice to a grade school kid who gets bullied… which by the way, if they don’t ever retaliate and try to ignore it, they just get harassed worse because there’s no repercussion for them or risk of a threat. That’s when they get bored, so what do they do? Escalate.

If you aren’t doing anything about it, they’ll think you’re afraid. They know enough about psychology that wether or not you show a reaction, you still feel it inside. They don’t need me to react or not, they know it’s damaging and they know what they’re doing would put anybody on alert. They don’t need a reaction.

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