​

The phone alarm went off, and for a sliver of a second, I was lost between dream and reality. As my consciousness sharpened my thoughts the contents of my dream came to me. It was my favorite type of dream, the weightless floating in the dark expanse. A sense of serenity followed a dream like that. Does that count as an emotion, feeling completely and utterly at peace?

The alarm kept getting louder, interrupting further dissection of thoughts. Standing up I picked up my phone from the charging stand and stopped the alarm. With the phone screen off, I stood in complete darkness. Sun was still not up, and this side of the house offered no direct streetlight. Strange how we change with time, in the past, I preferred darkness. It took some time to get used to my Companion, but now It does not bother me at all. It’s a part of me now. Wrangling with my thoughts I waddled towards the bathroom. After some awkward fumbling, I found the light switch and looked at the mirror, seeing nothing but my sleep-wrinkled self. Lowering the view away from the mirror I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Despite myself, I kept glancing toward the mirror seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

As I finished brushing my teeth and splashing my face, the reflection in the mirror showed a familiar sight. “Good morning.” Saying it out of habit, always without an answer. It sits just outside my focused vision, living in the periphery of my being. My Companion, visible only to me, only through the reflections. To my tired mind and eyes, it resembled a gigantic dog this time. No, it was actually a hyena. Never in the past eleven years did I manage to get a direct look at It. Always moves with my sight, staying at the edge of my vision.

Taking the clothes from my closet and getting dressed I took the keys and the security badge. The badge had my name and face. “John Smith”, the only thing worse than that would be John Doe. Remembering that awful joke always made me smile in the past.

I’m not smiling any longer.

It was Sunday morning, the giant metro station looked eerie, it was not made to be this empty. Travelers were few and far between, isolated in their own torments. Each one had a slumped posture, usually accompanying exhaustion or unwillingness. My thoughts were interrupted by the familiar weight moving up my back to my right shoulder. I looked at a large glass panel containing a map of metro lines, from this angle my reflection was on it. On my shoulder was darkness, taking a form of a vulture.

It was massive, easily doubling my size. Unconsciously I focused more than I’m ‘allowed’, and the blackness faded…. Weight was still there. Over the years I got good at knowing how close to it I can look. If I focus my vision too close it disappears. It dawned on me, recently it began to take the form of the Vulture when I’m outside. Indoors It preferred shapes of quadruped animals. Hyenas, jackals, hogs, and some large rodent-like creature I could not identify. It liked that one a lot lately. Earlier in our time together, It did not have a preference based on location.

Hearing the train approaching and moving toward the designated door spot, a loud voice surprised me.

“You know, It’s at the final stages.” A voice came from my right, a poorly lit part of a station. The voice was deep, yet melodic. “You should take care of that sooner than later, John.”

With a sudden motion, I turned. Since Companion showed up in my life, I stopped feeling the actual emotion of fear, or any emotion for that matter. That did not stop my mind from recognizing that the heart would be drumming like crazy now. The person flicked a lighter, lighting a cigarette. The faint light showed me enough, it was a homeless person. I could not see his face well, he held his hand lighting a cigarette. Underneath him was a makeshift bed, made of dirty blankets and newspapers. The train entered the station, hissing of pneumatic brakes announcing its arrival. The companion got really tense, never felt it in this amount before. Can’t be late for my shift, new management was on the hunt to cull the security staff. Even without that, I had no desire to talk to this person, how did he know my name? Hurrying to the train and barely managing to get in before the doors closed I turned around. The homeless man stood up and got a few steps closer to the train. Station light only partly showing his face, he flashed a toothy grin. Pearly white teeth glinted in the fluorescent light.

“I would be offended If I didn’t know you’re not on the best terms with empathy, or anything related to emotions.” He yelled as the door closed and flashed a wide grin.

Perplexed I stood in the middle of an empty cart. Leaning on the closed door with my back, my mind went into overdrive. When this started I went to see three psychiatrists, and they all said it was my mind protecting me from the trauma of the sudden loss. That it will pass with time. Eleven years passed, and It only got worse. Now that I think about it, I have never been able to focus on this topic long and think logically. A haze filled my mind, disrupting my focus, which was what happens usually when I try to work this out. Listening to the sound of rails clanking below me and use it as an anchor to keep me at this moment. For the first time, I'm fighting through the haze. That person knew about my Companion, which means It has to be something more than a figment of my imagination, right? I took the Companion for granted at this point, but there was always a thought that lurked beneath the surface, one I rarely entertained. What if It’s a manifestation of my shattered mind, some grotesque coping mechanism? That would make me even more broken than I am, I don’t want to think about that.

Today is a day for a lot of firsts, a sharp pain piercing my right shoulder made me wince. A new way of stopping my thoughts. Glancing at a train window across the cart showed an incredible sight. The Companion held Its vulture form, talons biting into the flesh of my right shoulder. Its body tilted forward to fit in the cart, long neck bent, head looking straight at my face. The beak almost touched my face. The wings were spread, enveloping the entire cart in darkness. The only part of the cart that was not in darkness was the small space around me. I felt the sweat on my temples, even though I was calm.. like always.

Focusing, I forced myself to let go of this train of thought, and the pain immediately subsided. A glance showed me that Its wings pulled back to normal position, its head kept staring at my face though. Thankfully, the automated voice said the name of the station. It’s where I get off, need to let routine take over, my exhausted mind needs a break.

​

The shift was uneventful, have one hour left until the night shift takes over. Working in a large corporation's security office can be quite boring, few things that need our attention happen. We’re more of a deterrent than anything else. Since entering the building my Companion changed to one of his indoor quadruped forms. The large rodent this time, It walked behind me as I did my final sweep of the offices. One thing stuck out however, I can see Its eyes glowing red. It never showed any color before. It was much harder to ignore It now. Every reflective surface reflected two gleaming crimson dots.

Meeting with that homeless person definitely triggered something. Should I meet him again?

A sharp growling made me turn around and reach for my sidearm. Nothing was behind me, then I realized It must be making noise. It never made any sound before. Not once in our 11 years of companionship. It’s reacting to my thoughts again, It really does not like that person. Glancing at the window to the side showed me the companion was snarling. The crimson eyes were ablaze, brighter but somehow deeper at the same time. Continuing my patrol and emptying the mind relaxed the Companion, It kept following close behind me. Its eyes were back to normal.

As I turned the corner moving back to the security office the lights went out. It was strange, it was too dark, emergency lights should be working. Even without that, light from the outside should provide more illumination than this. Not only the light but there was no sound at all. By instinct, I reached for my flashlight and turned it on. Nothing, can’t see anything. The flashlight is working, but the hallway is gone, the beam of light dissipates in the endless void. Suddenly my Companion tensed, I could feel it even before It let out a growl. With a mechanical thud, a spotlight appeared near me. Illuminating a small round coffee table and two sofas opposite of each other. At that point, I realized how much I got used to the unexplainable, and I walked slowly to the light. It’s not like any other choice was realistic. Whatever is happening here, I’m not in charge, that much is obvious.

I reached the light and my connection to the Companion was cut. It was sudden and unexpected, it made me turn around. A futile gesture, like I would see anything anyway. Maybe cut is too strong a word, muted would be more accurate. The connection is still there, just can’t feel the Companion. Our connection Is something constant, for the past 11 years, It was with me every single moment. It feels strange without It. I Sat down, and a light from a cigarette appeared in the darkness across from me.

A man walked into a spotlight with a smile on his face. It’s the homeless man from earlier, but now he’s wearing an ivory-colored three-part suit with a black tie. He sat across from me and put one of his leg on the other knee.

“Hello John,” the man said in an amused tone.

I kept staring at the man. I knew I can’t do anything but am not in the mood for games.

“No pleasantries? Right straight to the business then. You felt the entity bound to you change lately, have you not? It matured, the next step won’t be fun for you John.” The cigarette got bright as he took another drag.

“What are you, what is this?”

“Wrong question, the correct question is,” Man leaned forward, looming over the table. “How can I help you?” He stayed like that for a moment before leaning back. “You can call me Io, and what I am would go over your head, let’s not bother with that. Most importantly, I’m the only one willing to help you.”

I might be used to strange by now, but this was insane even to my standards. “How exactly would you do that?” I said while doing my best trying to appear like my mind was not in overdrive.

His grin widened, “It’s simple, you give me the permission, and I cut your tie with the parasite.” He makes a snapping gesture with his fingers.

“Permission? Why do you need that? My Companion did not ask me for a thing before it started affecting my life.”

“Companion.” He said with a soft laugh, then he grunted and leaned back on the sofa, rubbing his temples with his hand. “You humans are something else. Let’s put it in the way your limited human mind can understand. Your ‘Companion’ is like an animal, he acts on instinct. I am not, I need to abide by certain rules. If we could do what we want the chaos would shatter your plane. That happened before, it’s not a good time for anyone involved.” He moved the hand from his face and looked at me, playfulness gone from his face. “So, you want it gone or not?”

Information, that’s what I need. “You called it a parasite?” Should get all I can before deciding anything.

“Yes, it’s a parasitic entity, even though it may appear like a symbiotic relationship. You have emotions you can’t handle, and one of them steps in. Win-win right? Well maybe, until it feeds off you enough to reach maturity. Now the only way it can be free is to sever the connection. To end your life.”

My head was down, trying to wrap my brain around it all. Never thought companion was something so easily categorized. Always felt it was unique, that it just… was. I looked up, Io somehow got a glass of something and was sipping it. A bottle of Jack was on a table. A glass waited for me as well. Want my mind as clear as possible, have enough problems processing this. Pushing the glass away I asked. “How can I trust you?” I looked Io in the eyes. His expression transformed from the warm grin he usually had, to what I would describe as predatory.

“We form a contract, I can’t break contracts. Simple as that.”

“And I’m supposed to take your word on it? Why would you even help me? Nothing in my life was ever free.”

He kept a cold stare. “When the alternative is death, can you afford to say no?” Something caught his attention, his eyebrow raised slightly. He pointed a finger at the right side of my neck.

I put my hand there and felt blood, warm liquid flowing from the puncture, it seemed deep.

“Your connection is suppressed in this little pocket I created, but it’s not severed. It’s trying to kill you.”

I kept the pressure on the wound. God this puncture is close to the carotid, the Companion really is trying to kill me. I have no time to explore this at length.

Io put a piece of paper on the table and looked at me. “Good thing you’re bleeding, you’ll need some of that to seal the deal.”

I took the contract, it was one sentence. “Permission for..” This part was a long scribble in the strange script. Never seen symbols like that. I looked at Io, confused.

“It’s my name, you can’t read or pronounce it, continue.”

“.. To sever your connection to *another string of weird symbols* and take possession of it.”

“What we call the parasitic entities.” He said in a bored tone.

"Take possession?"

"Like you said John, nothing is free."

The paper in my hands did not have the same texture as the paper we normally use, it was too smooth.

Io put the glass on the table with a loud clink of the glass. “It’s quite simple, to seal the deal, put some of your blood on the paper and you will finally be free of your curse.”

I don’t want to rush making a decision. The blood flowed down my neck, despite my hand pressing the wound, It was not looking good. Io’s refusal to answer most of my questions did not escape me, I’m being played in some way. My mind is drawing a blank, I don’t see a play to level the field. He holds all the power, all the answers.

I looked at the contract for some time, before taking a deep breath and touching it with my bloody hand. At the exact moment of touch, the lights went off. I was still on the sofa. It got cold very fast. I felt the connection straining and becoming stronger. Could not hear anything but felt the Companion panicking, could swear It was howling. I started to sweat, my pulse was racing. Things I have not felt in over a decade rushed to me. Fear? Or more accurately, pure terror. I felt Companion fighting desperately as if Its life depended on it. Breathing was difficult, I was in pure panic, completely unprepared for any emotion, especially not something this strong. Clutching the sofa with my hand I did my best not to pass out. The connection got very strong for a moment before it cut. It severed completely this time, I screamed at this, screamed into the void. Scream was met with silence, no echo at all. I was alone. Truly alone for the first time in 11 years. In this unexplainable darkness, I cried.

With no sense of time, I sat there enveloped in nothingness. God….my emotions .. It’s all blending together.. The concept of crying was strange to me. From the moment Companion bonded with me, crying was something out of the realm of possibility. Now tears were flowing, and I loved the warm feeling as they streamed down my face. The cold was unbearable, even the warmth of tears was fading. I started to shiver and found myself whimpering in this horrible place.

My body was not listening, I want to get up and run. The realization set in, there is no escape, and death was inevitable. Strangely, I was ok with it. Embracing my fate made the crying stop. I just wanted this to be over.

With the same mechanical thud I heard before, the light turned on. Io slumped on the sofa across from me. The warmth returned with him. Io’s clothes were disheveled and ripped in some places. He was pouring himself another glass. He looked at me, his expression unreadable. We sat there for a while. I was rubbing my shoulders trying to warm up myself.

Io broke the silence. “You cannot understand the scale of what I accomplished. The effort and sacrifices that went into this.” He took a big gulp of whiskey. Looked at me and smiled. "You did good Johnny, really good.”

I did not want to listen, I just wanted to leave.

“I'll shed some light on the situation, look at it as a reward. Those parasites are planar creatures like me, but from a different plane. A very … deep one, for the lack of a better word in this limiting language. Only three of them appeared in planes we could observe. This one was fourth. From the moment we noticed how they interact with a certain energy that manifests as emotion here, we knew we had to get one, no matter the cost!”

Focusing on what he was saying was the most difficult thing in the world, I was ready to die just a few moments ago. At least the shivering stopped.

“Emotion alone was not enough, oh no. The human world would be filled with those things if that was the case.” He downed the full glass and was pouring another. “I personally identified 50 thousand candidates over time. Those that fill what we thought are other requirements for attracting the things. Hope you can appreciate the effort. Everything had to happen in a very specific way, at a very specific time to maximize the chances. In your example, Johnny. Killing your parents and sister at the exact moment to cause you the greatest emotional damage. Making sure you alone survived the car crash took a lot of effort. Needed you to look at them as the life left their broken bodies. The subtle manipulation of the other driver was a masterpiece, it was pure art. Getting him drunk, making sure he gets in the car, and crash at the exact moment, at the exact speed and angle I needed him. Absolutely glorious! Now imagine doing that north of 50 thousand times, I’m exhausted, Johnny.”

Those words .. I .. Wha.., It’s all his fault. Everything that happened to me, it’s this thing’s fault. I started to shake, my hands balled up in fists, nails biting into the skin. With a scream I jumped over the table, wanting to grab his neck. I fell on the floor, disoriented I looked up. Io was laughing, and the sofa he was sitting on moved a few meters back.

“Hey now, don’t get too emotional!” He was laughing hard at that, having a time of his life.

I pulled out my sidearm, emptying the clip at him. I heard the shots and felt the recoil. The smell of gunpowder was in the air, the shells hit the floor. Zero effect, could not see any effect of the bullets. Like I shot the blanks.

He stood up still laughing, letting the glass slip from his fingers and shatter on the ground. “Plan was always to kill you after we finish here, but you know what? I think you earned your life. Never thought a human could be useful before today. Have a miserable life, Johnny.” He snapped his fingers and I was back in the office hallway. Sounds of Io’s laughter echoed in my ears. This was too much, I curled up in a ball and passed out.

​

Woke up in a hospital a day later. A coworker found me and called the ambulance. It was difficult dealing with all the emotions, being so long without them. They discharged me after three days. The first thing I did was write everything down from that day. From start to finish. Did my best to describe all the details while they were still fresh.I was let go from my job, they were looking for excuses to trim our numbers down anyway. I gave them a perfect excuse, passing out while on shift. The inability to explain why I discharged my weapon did not help my case. No one heard the shots, but when they took my weapon a basic check made it obvious. They did not file a police report, so I did not mind. Saved me the trouble of quitting.

After the ordeal, I took some time to reflect on everything that transpired. One big thing, there was no wound on my neck. That was the thing that brought a sense of urgency, and it was not real, he’s a clever one. There was only one way forward for me. There was no going back to something resembling a normal life. I have a new singular purpose, learn everything I can about the other side of existence. Different dimensions, planes as Io called them, and the creatures inhabiting them. I need to know what’s going on behind the curtains. Why was my Companion so valuable to them? Knowledge is the key, it must be out there somewhere. I’ll go wherever, and do whatever to gain it. I have a buyer for the house lined up, I’ll need the money for what comes next.

And the most important goal, find a way to kill that motherfucker Io.