The worst part is that she looks normal. Can you imagine if she were simply a larger version of the toy he left in the shower? Fortunately, she’s not some monstrous, blue, faceless abomination. At first glance, the only abnormal thing about her was, you know, that my friend fucking GREW her.

Sorry. I just don’t know what to do. I’m losing my mind right now. I did consider that she might be one of Freddie’s friends. It seemed like an extravagant prank. Obviously, that was the first idea which came to mind. Any sane person would leap to a rational explanation first. It seemed a little extreme that his friend would walk out of the bathroom with no clothes, but I just thought that she was committing to the role.

“Wow.”

I remember Freddie saying that, and then there was silence. We stood on the upstairs landing and stared at the confused, nude lady for a few endless seconds.

“Who’s this special lady, Dan?” Freddie asked me, chuckling excitedly.

The woman, standing with her arms stiffly by her sides, slowly twisted her head to look at Freddie. She didn’t make a sound.

“Okay. Very funny,” I said. “I assume this is your friend?”

“What?” Freddie asked, before bursting into laughter. “Oh, nice one. Turning the prank around on me, eh? I’m sorry for teasing you, sheesh! Does your lady friend not want to put on a towel or something, though? This feels a little… awkward.”

“I…” I paused. “Come on, man. It’s getting old now.”

The woman turned to face me. She was beautiful. Hazel hair fell in rolling waves just past her shoulders, and she had bright blue eyes which shimmered in the harsh glow of the hallway light above us. And yet, she terrified me. Yes, at this point, my rational brain told me that this was one of Freddie’s elaborate jokes, but my gut was telling me a different story. Something about her didn’t look right.

“Is this your girlfriend, Dan?” Freddie asked. “Have you been hiding her from me? I’m sorry, mate. I was being mean. You have a girlfriend! I’m happy for you. And it was nice… erm… meeting you, mystery woman. I definitely feel… well acquainted with you.”

As Freddie turned on his heel and began to walk down the stairs, I followed him, leaving the silent woman on the upstairs landing.

“Wait!” I whispered, scared of the woman hearing me. “Where are you going, Freddie?”

“I’m leaving you to it, man,” Freddie chortled, slowly putting on his coat and shoes. “Well done, man. I knew there was a girl out there for you. Is she a nudist or something? Each to their own, I guess. I’m not mad about it. She’s… Yeah. Nice.”

Before I had a chance to reiterate that I knew it was all a prank, he had slammed the door in my face. It was just Freddie’s friend and me. That was what I told myself, but a part of me was already starting to doubt that she was really his friend. I told myself that she was staying behind to really sell the joke. They were just waiting for me to cave, right?

No. Something was off. I walked to the bottom of the stairs. She was still standing at the very top, stark naked, staring at nothing. Then, her head started to tilt downwards so she could lock her gaze onto me. Her cold, menacing lips lifted into something resembling a smile, but it was all wrong. She was all wrong. And then she said something.

“I’m the perfect girlfriend, Daniel. I don’t argue. I don’t complain. I cook. I clean.”

I stood there quietly, thinking about the plastic packaging that Freddie had shown me before he threw the toy in the shower. Those were lines that had been printed on the front. That was all part and parcel of the misogynistic package. But still, this could all be an act. That was what I kept telling myself.

“Please, put on some clothes,” I begged the woman.

“I didn’t come with clothes,” She replied. “I’m so sorry, Daniel. Have I disappointed you?”

“No,” I sighed, starting to tire of what I hoped was merely an excessive joke. “My room is at the end of the landing. Grab whatever clothes you want from my wardrobe. I’ve got T-shirts and shorts.”

The woman didn’t reply. She started to dart out of view before I even had a chance to finish my sentence. I just shrugged my shoulders and strolled into the living room, looking for my phone. When I found it, I immediately messaged Freddie.

“Wtf, man?” I texted. “Your friend is still here.”

“Haha,” He replied. “Your new girlfriend is so fucking hot, man.”

“Very funny,” I angrily retorted. “I’m kind of tired, Freddie. When’s she going home?”

“Mate, I’m not buying it, but nice try - leave the pranks to the pros. I’m off to bed. Fun evening!”

I wouldn’t have believed it for a second. Would you? You don’t know Freddie, but I think anyone would just assume that this was a dose of over-the-top teasing. I was actually starting to worry that my friend might’ve just hired a stripper or a prostitute to spend the evening. I was doing a grand job of ignoring the weird feeling in my gut until things changed.

The living room door opened. The woman had been gone for about an hour, and I think part of me was hoping that she’d started to find the prank boring and decided to slip out of the house. No such luck. She was still here, but she was now dressed in my over-sized Radiohead hoodie and some of my cargo shorts.

“Is this better, Daniel?” The woman asked.

“Much better, erm…” I trailed off. “What’s your name?”

“I don’t have a name,” She replied. “What do you want me to be called?”

“I don’t fucking know,” I groaned, looking at the vase of dying flowers on the table (a gift from my mum). “Poppy.”

“Poppy,” She replied, seemingly content with the decision.

“Now, I really have to-“ I began, but she interrupted me.

“Poppy. I’m the flower that grew in your shower,” She giggled.

There was something deeply disturbing about her laugh, just like everything else about her. It was so manufactured. False. I was starting to realise that this girl wasn’t going home in a hurry.

“I’m going to bed, Poppy,” I said.

“Sleep well, darling,” She responded, cheerfully.

“Is there… somewhere you need to go?” I asked, awkwardly. “I could give you a ride.”

“Where do you want me to go?” Poppy queried.

“Not to be rude, but I want you to leave this house,” I replied.

“Oh,” She whispered, dejectedly. “Am I not making you happy, Daniel?”

“I just really need some sleep,” I said, trying to hide the fear in my voice. “I don’t really know you, and I don’t feel comfortable with you still being in my home. I don’t know what Freddie promised, but-“

“Freddie didn’t promise anything,” Poppy interjected in her near-constant, upbeat tone. “He grew me as a gift for you. I don’t need anything from you, Daniel. I’m here for you. I don’t argue. I don’t make problems.”

“Well, you don’t argue, so please leave,” I requested, firmly.

Poppy smiled. “Anything for you, Daniel.”

As she left the living room and started to walk down the hallway towards my front door, I followed her. I wanted to be sure that she was really leaving. I had to lock and bolt the door behind her. She gave me the fucking creeps.

That’s what I saw it. That’s when I saw something that filled me with a sense of existential dread and sickness.

Poppy had left a trail behind her. Down the stairs and into the living room, there was a thick trail of blue slime. Another prank, maybe? I would’ve chalked it up to that, but Poppy turned to look at me when she reached the front door. She was crying.

Her tears weren’t like yours or mine. It was more of that blue slime, streaking down her face. Whatever the fuck they use to make those ‘Grow A Girlfriend’ toys, it was pouring out of her eye sockets in thick, relentless streams. How could I explain that away with science?

Poppy removed the latch, opened the door, and stepped out into the night. She turned around one final time, face coated in blue streaks, and smiled at me.

“Are we breaking up?” She sobbed.

“No. We’re not in a relationship,” I said, and I deeply regret that response.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Daniel,” She said, before suddenly reverting back to her cheery demeanour. “But that means I’m not a girlfriend. I’ve outgrown my purpose. I have no… limitations.”

As that wiry, demonic smile returned to her face, I slammed the door shut and locked it.

That was two hours ago. I closed all of the blinds, triple-checked the locks on my doors and windows, then crawled into bed. I’m shaking. I can’t sleep. I don’t ever want to leave my house again. She’s standing outside my house. I know it. I don’t particularly want to look outside to confirm it, but I don’t have to do so. She’s out there. Trust me.

What should I do?