Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

CandiBunnii t1_itce04v wrote

My dude. You should have constructed the most difficult, convoluted grocery list of all time.

Bananas, a bunch of 5 with 2 unripe

Grapes, but with none loose in the bottom of the bag

Deli meat, freshly sliced to half the width of a finger nail and only complete perfect slices

Swiss cheese, each slice may only have 6 holes

1,913 organic coffee beans

Rachel Ray Nutrish refrigerated dog food (only If you don't actually have a dog)

Would have bought you enough time to get the absolute fuck out of there.

If you kill her there isn't enough proof it was self defense. You could have orchestrated the poop pictures, you clearly know her password so you could have searched those things yourself.

Welp, if she's never hurt a fly then you better start buzzing.

507

Supermarket_Haunting t1_ited7j9 wrote

> You should have constructed the most difficult, convoluted grocery list of all time.

>Bananas, a bunch of 5 with 2 unripe

>Grapes, but with none loose in the bottom of the bag

>Deli meat, freshly sliced to half the width of a finger nail and only complete perfect slices

>Swiss cheese, each slice may only have 6 holes

>1,913 organic coffee beans

>Rachel Ray Nutrish refrigerated dog food (only If you don't actually have a dog)

Then she really would want to kill him.

134

daishomaster t1_itef42x wrote

The mere mention of Rachel Ray inspires a murderous frenzy...

36

teapotoccamy t1_itfpo26 wrote

I'm having flashbacks of Uncle Roger losing his mind while she makes "pad Thai"

10

Wishiwashome t1_itf1p19 wrote

Always. Always a pleasure to hear your opinions. This would have given him a lot of time to think! And, of course, it would have given her time to think how much more she wanted him dead and all the Lululemon gear she was going to buy with the insurance money.

22

CandiBunnii t1_itf2t6w wrote

Always a delight to see yours!

True, yknow this seems awfully premeditated to be a crime of passion or a heat of the moment thing. I think this storm has been brewing for awhile, she likely has her reasons for wanting him dead.

OP appears to be a bit of an unreliable narrator, is he a perfectly innocent Cinnamonroll who can do no wrong?

Or is he a massive pain in the ass who has worn Alyssa's seemingly infinite patience thin?

Either way, I have a feeling she's gonna roll up to his funeral in her best Formal Lululemon attire and dripping in the most luxurious Blood Milk Jewelry money can buy.

Gotta admire a strong female lead

18

Wishiwashome t1_itjfi6g wrote

How do you ALWAYS know when I need another grand insight from my CandiBunnii friend? For certain, this is premeditated!

5