Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

MsPaganPoetry t1_j9tlgw1 wrote

Your wife sounds psychotic. Leave ASAP, before she dismembers anybody further.

146

Axameno t1_j9ttjvc wrote

wait what-? i seem to be slow why did she do that-

11

bidibbix t1_j9tupg6 wrote

You took you kids an get the hell out of that house. Your wife is psycho. Poor children. They're just babies, they don't deserve that.

124

ObjectiveOne3868 t1_j9tvjbl wrote

Replying to Axameno (#1,965,006)

The one kid was good. Never did anything. The other wouldn't stop kicking the sister. Hence she removed his legs so he couldn't kick. And the daughter wouldn't stop pulling the "good" kid's hair so she removed her arms. Hence, she could no longer pull hair.

She's psychotic and has no motherly instinct. She's a heartless surgeon who is good at her job because she feels no stress or emotion distracting her from operating. She's a psychopath (not because she can operate focused, but because she could mutilate her kids like that. Seeing no problem and only problem fixed).

59

TheRayOfLife t1_j9udl0s wrote

Your wife is a true surgeon, never blinded by emotions. She's a keeper imo!

1

bake1965 t1_j9ujhbw wrote

Toss her in a wood chipper!!!!

8

clownind t1_j9unuly wrote

Take a large insurance policy on your wife before you go on a cruise....

12

danielleshorts t1_j9ur8o6 wrote

I'm not a fan of children & even I find this extreme. Couldn't she hire help? That would make shit more "manageable".

27

TheSkullCupMan t1_j9uthdq wrote

Well, the comments have been really lovely so far, think I read one that supported the wife saying she was a true surgeon unhindered by emotions, and hence a keeper... Might I suggest sedating your wife at night and then giving her a shot of her own medicine?

You mentioned she was a surgeon, and working a job where time is of utmost essence while managing those stupid interns, who flinch at every damn command can be a hassle. After sedation simply slice off each of her fingers instead replacing them with stuff that would help out, a scalpel, and a retractor for instance, a reflex hammer might be "handy" too.

A pager is a very useful device and a necessity for a medical career, so for the left hand replace the fingers with a small one, do let her keep that thumb though for the buttons, gotta 'preciate those opposable thumbs eh? I hope this guide would be a way to tell your wife that you are in agreement with her methods, and also a way for you to make her life more

manageable

PS: You might think that leaving her with just a thumb is harsh but you ought to

>Think of it more like…downsizing.

29

TheDarkXanatos t1_j9uu995 wrote

Leave her or kill her. You only have two options really... Search how to bury a 170 pound chicken on youtube ig.

16

erin_kirkland t1_j9uylza wrote

Kinda sudden, but has your wife been evaluated for postpartum depression? If untreated, it can go on for a very long time, and thoughts of harming the children are one of the most common symptoms. I think the stress has gotten into her, and she did what she was able to do as a surgeon. Your wife needs psychiatric help with her psychosis and later with dealing with what she's done. As for the kids, some mothers suggest colloid silver and detox, they say it helps with any problem, cures autism, grows limbs etc. Maybe worth a try?

6

Far_Angrier_Admin t1_j9v2bmc wrote

Replying to amyss (#1,964,508)

cut off her limbs, sow her mouth shut and throw her into the basement to starve

then remarry and tell your new partner the twins died in a horrible accident and thats when your wife ditched you

24

KeeperofAmmut7 t1_j9vb27v wrote

Holy f'n hell! She needs to be tossed in the clink for child abuse!

3

FruitcakeAndCrumb t1_j9veit3 wrote

Call the police and until you do DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON HER! Short sighted of her too, having a kid with no arms means extra work, same with drumstick boy. Good surgeon but common sense idiot.

8

prettyblades t1_j9vkhqt wrote

the whole time i’m reading this i’m thinking abt why you’d name one of ur kids deborah

274

MaleficentFeather t1_j9vnd85 wrote

But doesn't this make them less manageable? They can't even be potty trained in their current state.

4

pickingnamesishard_ t1_j9vo1p0 wrote

Firstly, get your children out of danger ASAP. Then I recommend sending your wife to a psychiatrist because she is absolutely not well in her head.

1

mephitmpH t1_j9vrbbh wrote

You can still kick someone with a chicken drumstick

3

Saff_T t1_j9vualg wrote

I thought she was going to give them a lobotomy, this is even worse

22

Reddd216 t1_j9vwcp9 wrote

Does your wife have a split personality by chance? You refer to her as both "Alison" and "Alice" so I was wondering if maybe she switches back and forth, like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

−1

KlemmyKlem t1_j9vzwyz wrote

Couldn’t just hire a nanny with your combined incomes…?

2

alwaysatonna t1_j9w0du6 wrote

Well if she's a surgeon and your job has you flying back and forth to London why not hire a nanny or two to help y'all? U sure sound like u have the money

10

Low-Environment t1_j9w5op1 wrote

So your wife jumps straight to surgery and not 'hiring help'. You've got two incomes and your wife is a surgeon and neither of you thought to hire a nanny? This is what's wrong with parents today.

10

vannabael t1_j9w69th wrote

Okay but missing libs is a whole new kind of unmanageable bullshit. Yeah they can't attack each other, but good luck with the terrible prosthetics (and the bills) especially for Deborah.

3

justadecoy44 t1_j9wethh wrote

You named your children Darren, Deborah, and fucking Daniel. You deserve your misfortune

1

witchyanne t1_j9wm0pz wrote

She shouldn’t have done the limbs thing - a lobotomy would have been better.

1

expespuella t1_j9wtu6i wrote

Your wife is quite talented. I am rather surprised she didn't sew them all together into just one kid, considering that was what she deemed tolerable initially. I think keeping all three separated shows she is capable of far more than even she expected.

2

SomeRealTomfoolery t1_j9wulhe wrote

Replying to themultinextdoor (#1,977,176)

Or maybe some kind of childhood development therapy. I wish I could say I was surprised, but surgeons are well known for using surgery as the fix all solution. Even when simple things like diet changes and various therapies would work the same or better.

29

Epic_Ewesername t1_j9x1cs4 wrote

So Daniel is still whole?

Cheese and rice, man. I don’t know.

1

LuckyShadowWolf t1_j9x5q00 wrote

‘As I took a breath to give myself a break from retelling what happened, I knew that I would never have to go to jail for what my ex-wife had done, as I saw the Jury filled with a mix of sorrow, horror, and shock. And the prosecutor, well with how he was nodding along with my tale and had barely spoken through the trial he was on my side also. Now it was time for one little fib about flying into a rage and following my wife downstairs to kill her. I can be cold and methodical too as my wife found out when she realized that I was going to make her suffer for what she had done!’

0

Tribe_Vivek t1_j9x90e8 wrote

My brother in Christ, what the actual fuck?

2

MurseWoods t1_j9xwwx1 wrote

Replying to poetniknowit (#1,987,169)

I’ve got an Uncle Darren and an Aunt Debbie who are brother and sister. And my brother’s name is Daniel… who was named after our other Uncle Danny who passed away when he was a teenager.

True story.

What the actual F?!

7

XxxshampooxxX t1_j9y2w4b wrote

If that happened to me I'd kill them all or myself... Just the first was nightmare..

2

Sablemint t1_j9your9 wrote

Well the first step would be calling the police.

1

Far_Angrier_Admin t1_j9yruhm wrote

Replying to Theletterkay (#1,988,601)

>Cut off her legs, attach to legless kid. Cut off arms, attach to armless child. Win win?

ah yes

a 4 year old child with the limbs of a decades old (at least 20, maybe up to 40 - OP never specified) woman is definitly normal

the neighbors definitly won't question why the fuck this 5 year old has the rotting legs of a 40 year old woman

1

Irisheyes1971 t1_j9zbf7z wrote

Replying to FatalLaughter (#1,977,503)

Ehhh ok. That might bear true if they interchanged them throughout the story, but they didn’t. They started out calling her Alison and then later in the story changed solely to Alice. It was obviously just a screwup.

1