I don’t even know where I am. It’s dark all around, my phone barely lights up my fingers as I’m typing this. It almost feels as though I’m covered by a thick veil of blackness. Fuck, I’ve just been sitting idly twirling my thumbs before I caved and typed out my thoughts. My phone shows no signal but I somehow managed to get hooked up to the internet. Fuck, this doesn’t make sense. I mean, I’d believe I was drunk or high or something but FUCK ALL! I swear on my life I’m not under the influence when I say this; but I think I somehow no-clipped through reality. I mean, a place like this can’t possibly be real, right? Haha, look at me, asking nobody in particular.

I hate being alone and anyone who knows me will tell you how much I hate isolation. This feels like a nightmare but no matter how many times I pinch myself, I’m still in this foreign place. I tried to reach out to anyone, ANYONE on my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter—and nothing! Either the whole world is in on a sick joke where they all collectively ignore my existence, or my posts don’t actually make it through. So now here I am, typing this out on Reddit for anyone to see. PLEASE SOMEONE RESPOND. The silence is loud, like a cricket ringing in my skull. Ffs this platform is my last hope so I’m praying this will work.

I’m gonna log my journey as I start venturing further into this veil of darkness. Wish me luck, haha…

***

Those three stars will signify a new entry. I’d specify the time but the clock on my phone has been stuck on the same numbers; 15:33. I have no sense of time in this place! On the plus side, it seems like my battery will last indefinitely so I don’t have to worry about preserving juice.

How far have I travelled? God knows. And for how long? I’m just as clueless. My phone flashlight doesn’t even illuminate an inch ahead of me. Whatever, I can only go forward anyways. Though after what felt like an eternity, I finally hit a wall. No, literally, I walked face first into a wall. My nose hurts, I think I might’ve broken it. It’s not the worst pain ever but breathing through my mouth is not pleasant. I hope I can find an exit soon. In the meanwhile, I’ll keep hugging the wall and move forward. Surely I’ll find a corner, or a turn somewhere, right? Right?

I’ll be back later. Toodles.

***

Fuck I’m sore. I’ve been following the wall forever and it doesn’t end. I had to take a break, my poor legs are killing me. I’m sitting on the ground for a moment before I keep going. I should take this time to reflect on my situation. I’m in some unknown place which seems to go on forever with no end in sight, and I can’t see a damn thing. Yet I remember hanging out with my friends just like it was yesterday. We were at a party…shit, I’m not even sure now. There were people. I remember thinking it was too many, but now I wish I could see them again. I’d be happy to see anyone’s face right now. Being alone like this…stuff of nightmares, I swear.

I think I would’ve gone batshit crazy if I wasn’t typing this. My internal monologue can only keep me so much company. Meanwhile I can only hope my post will go through once I hit send. I could take my chances now, but…I’m also a little scared to find out. This draft is my only way of keeping track of things, and a part of me is afraid to know the inevitable truth; whether or not I’ve become a ghost to reality. So if you read this far, please don’t stop. That means it worked, and maybe someone can guide me through this bullshit.

I will keep pressing on. What else can I do, really?

Tata for now.

***

Is there a song describing total darkness? Total, blinding veil of black? I can’t think of one. Fact of the matter, I can’t recall any tunes. Sounds like nonsense, right? Yeah I know, I thought so too, but my head is an empty echo chamber with my own worries. It’s just as devoid of anything as this space. I’ve only moved forward and made no visible progress. Why is it so empty? Why is my head so empty?

I can feel the ceiling if I stretch my arm out fully above my head. That’s new, I never noticed it before. Was it always like that? Either way, I couldn’t help but feel some form of relief. Finally, something that felt different. A wall and a ceiling. Which means there should be an exit. So this must be some kind of sick joke, right? Maybe my friends are all ignoring me…Yeah, totally. They’re all on board with some sick joke. Are we near April Fools? Wait, no, we were at a New Years party just before all of this started.

I was pinged by Facebook as I was getting ready to keep moving forward. My friends and coworkers were all together for a night out; at least according to the pictures they posted. How come no one wondered about me? They don’t seem to notice I’m gone. Or if they did, they don’t care at all. Did I do something wrong? Why is this happening to me?

I wish I had some ice. The swelling on my nose is ridiculous. Not only that but I’d love to be able to use my nostrils again. Have I ever mentioned how claustrophobic I am? Anyone who knows me would agree. I can’t even stand the heat of my own breath while wearing a scarf! Being deprived of cold, fresh air is quite tortuous to say the least.

I want out of here. I want out of this nightmare. Someone please help me.

Help me.

***

THE SPACE HAS ONLY GROWN NARROW AND I CAN FEEL THREE WALLS NOW.

I’m scared I can’t stop shaking. I tried to turn around only to hit another wall. I’m in some kind of magic cement cage where the only way is forward AND IT KEEPS GETTING MORE CRAMPED.

The ceiling is barely touching the top of my head. I can’t stop crying. This isn’t real. This can’t be. Once I finally post this, it will be my only solace. I keep holding onto the thought that this narrow corridor will lead to an open space but…even I have my doubts…

***

Help.

I’m struggling to type with one hand. I made a terrible mistake moving forward and now I’m stuck crawling. My head is stuck to the side. My eyes hurt from side glancing.

The ceiling is gonna crush me if I keep moving. I barely fit as is. The path never got bigger.

I’m gonna hit post and pray for the best. I should’ve gambled my luck sooner. If anyone sees this, please give me a sign. And if anyone ever gets stuck in a place like this, DON’T MOVE FORWARD.

I don’t know if I’ll die of a heart attack, lack of oxygen, or if this place will come crashing down…I just refuse to die without an answer.

Can anyone see this post?