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Wear-Fluid t1_j47en8g wrote

Reply to comment by wart_on_satans_dick in Michigan mom accused of catfishing teen daughter bound over for trial by Rocket_AG

Can confirm. My mother was one of those people. 🙄

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wart_on_satans_dick t1_j47h49x wrote

Mine too unfortunately. They would also take any sort of slight or perceived slight and punish me for it. Generally with a belt.

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Fantastic_Nebula_835 t1_j47wa3b wrote

Yeah, my dad was a bare knuckle guy. 95% of the time my older sister took the hits to protect us. I took the other 5%. It was tied to his binge drinking and what we suspect was bipolar disorder. Ironically, he didn't believe in corporal punishment. It was just random. My mom was diagnosed with severe borderline personality disorder and malignant narcissism. They were exhausting to take care of growing up. I was lucky, though. Over the years, my friends, their families, and many of my teachers became my family.

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wart_on_satans_dick t1_j483faz wrote

I'm sorry to hear that. Ironically as well, I believe my dad felt the same way about corporal punishment. He didn't binge drink thankfully, he was married to his work. I have never once heard him say he is sorry about even the littlest thing, I've never heard him say he's wrong about even the littlest thing, and I have never heard him say there is anything he doesn't know or understand. I am not him.

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zoompixel t1_j47ipz5 wrote

Sad for you, fight it forever. Some people really just look like people, but they're not really. A lot can go wrong in the process of making a human being, from your long, long line of ancestors contributing their genetic material, some of it iffy, to some of the psychologically destructive processes that are sometimes involved in becoming an adult, to the raising of a child. Hope your own kids, if you have or are planning to, will receive good parenting due to your self-awareness. How all the subsystems that shape a person manage to result in the good ones we know is a miracle in itself.

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Starlightriddlex t1_j47qe5o wrote

One of the best ways to combat generational abuse and break the cycle is to seek therapy prior to having children of your own. It's important to get an outside perspective of what normal should be. So many people fail to realize that just because you're doing a better job than your parents, it doesn't mean you're doing a "good" job.

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supercyberlurker t1_j48fua6 wrote

Yeah, I'm increasingly of the opinion that the venn diagram of abusers and 'parents who hate therapy' is just a circle.

The abusers hate therapy because it makes them look at themselves, and the people who hate therapy often tend to become abuser because they didn't deal with their own trauma and so just perpetuate the generational abuse.

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zoompixel t1_j4cqqt0 wrote

Can't agree more. It's hard to learn to start liking yourself, but it's an absolute prerequisite to being able to like others. The rewards are so well worth it, though.

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