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Igoos99 t1_j61n7y9 wrote

Reply to comment by kottabaz in Boarding school ignored teen’s sickness complaints before she died, ex-staff say by ninjascotsman

It’s not just “authoritarian parents” sending their kids to these places. These are desperate parents who don’t know how to help their troubled kids.

The problem is, these places sweet talk them into being whatever the parents want to see. There’s hippy dippy ones too. They can be just as dangerous and damaging to the kids locked up in them.

These are money making ventures. They prey on vulnerable parents just as much as they prey on vulnerable kids. (And they prey on those parents’ insurance companies.)

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PlantPotStew t1_j626zlz wrote

Yep, they nearly got to my mother, I’m glad she was too bothered by the red flags but I could see other parents overlooking things.

She said she didn’t know if 3 months was enough to get me comfortable with the idea of living outside of home, they said “don’t worry, you don’t have to tell her, they’ll come and pick her up in the middle of the night and just take her” (as if that isn’t at all traumatizing) she asked more questions and one thing they ‘assured’ her with was that she won’t be able to contact me AT ALL for the first 6 or more months I’m there.

The school was located in the USA too (We’re Canadian) and she’d have to pay 10’s of thousands for it, so yeah. I wasn’t even a ‘troubled teen’ I personally asked for therapy myself and at most was just depressed/anxious and over stimulated in regular environments due to my autism. Honestly disturbing these people, who I confided in, recommended this behind my back…

I graduated college with honour rolls in every year, never went below an A. It’s amazing what decent support can do, and I shudder to think what that place would be like if what they told her was the acceptable stuff.

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ericmm76 t1_j63p88a wrote

It's frightening to imagine what this kind of environment from the Elan school would do to an already anxious/depressed teenager. I can't even imagine.

All cults are bad. But it's a uniquely bad cult that sells itself not to the people who join it but to someone else to sell their kid into.

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E_wrecked_99 t1_j66gil3 wrote

Yeah they got to my mom. This as in the early ‘90s when less was known about these places. She still hasn’t forgiven herself for sending me away to those places and it really fucks with her head. I mean, experiencing guilt is a reasonable reaction, but in many ways she was a victim of the troubled teen industry too. She has long ago taken responsibility for having sent me away, apologized (too many times) and has really done everything to make amends (including taking in homeless adult survivors of these places). I don’t think she’ll ever be over the guilt that she’s dealing with and it does break my heart sometimes. She thought she was doing the right thing at the time and had an unhealthy deference to people in positions of “authority”.

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