Back in my youth criminals were smarter.

The gov isn't always out to help you, though they did give these people a ride.

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Interesting how the Sherriff’s office takes an opportunity to shit on New York when Polk county is overrun with these methheads robbing dollar stores and dwellings.

Gotta admire the honesty and transparency of the female accomplice...she might make a better girlfriend than criminal !!!

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My first question was what were these two on?

Hard to believe that such concentrated stupidity exists. Even in Florida.

That's some peak Florida woMan there

Presumably they were just "learning the ropes" on how to be master criminals :-)

DeSantis is selling tshirts that say "make America Florida" which, in addition to being a shot directly at Trump, is a *terrible* slogan because you are going to associate Florida Guy stories directly with Ron DeSantis and wind up with stuff like this.

>Deputies responded to a home Saturday after a 911 call was made but nobody spoke, the Polk County Sheriff's Office said.

Yeah I thought this was going in a much different paranormal direction until the woman later said she did it.

>At the home, the deputies concluded that nobody lived there, but they found a male suspect and his girlfriend inside the home after entering it through an unlocked door.

But then who was burgle?

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I'm older than 911. And cameras were a rarity and limited even in places that had them. It didn't used to take much brains to get away with most crimes.

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Yes, Florida, the role-model state. Wonder if people in Florida are deluded about their state.

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No they weren't, y'all just didn't have social media.

Just counter by finishing the sentence: Make America Florida Man. Once you can't say one without hearing the other, we've won.

That's not even a good take of the original McDonald's take. The original issue was that the coffee was served hot enough to cause the woman 3rd degree burns and fuse her labia. She originally just wanted McDonald's to help with her medical bills and their behavior in court was is bad the jury gave her way over what she asked for. You can't serve people lava and then say it's their fault they spilled it

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Pretty sure we won when they said "Make America Florida" in the first place. It's already the country's punching bag.

> I'm older than 911.

Dang, that's old. Suspiciously old. Like, "made a profane deal at a crossroads" old.

Hmm...

In Florida defense. Florida stupidity is public due to transparency which is a good thing. I forgot the details and specifics. But rhey something that makes their arrests super public. That's why theres a Florida man meme.

They weren't. You just lacked tech.

Not all of us. But yes, many are hopelessly deluded and lack any modicum self awareness.

redditors detect sarcasm challenge (impossible)

> “Deputies DID help them with their belongings, and DID give them a ride, but it wasn’t to the airport … it was to the Polk Pokey," the sheriff's office said in a Facebook post.

Sheriff’s Office gets 10 points for using the old word pokey.

I agree, but the Florida Man part is too familiar of a phrase and sounds too close to Great Again that you can't unhear it with enough popularity. Shit phase all together, but easier to parrot.

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*kisses fingertips*

OMG I found the. perfect. mugshot for that

Additionally, you can't say that without hearing it in Bart Simpson's voice.

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Should have used the non-emergency number

Sounds accurately Floridian.

Not necessarily, 911 was only in certain parts of the country for a long time. I was born in the 80s and we didn't have 911 until probably sometime in the 90s. Instead we had an emergency number that was a full 7 digit phone number, taped to the wall next to our kitchen landline phone.

They must have meth brain because even if it was their own stuff you would not call 911 to move shit for you.

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Somehow, it doesn't disappoint me that this was Polk County.

I really want to hear this 911 call. I've heard of stupid criminals but I literally can't comprehend what they were thinking. And I know everyone will say "they weren't thinking" but there is some kind of logic at play here, even if it's batshit methhead logic I just need to know what their thought process was

The Florida man meme exists because of a good government policy around transparency in reporting what crimes the state is prosecuting.

Bring that to the rest of the US, and you will turn all of the states into Florida man. Everyone else hides their Florida men

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As soon as I read the first word of the post title I knew it would be some stupid shit.

I was just making a joke about someone being over nine hundred years old.

In the burglars defence, the only difference between them and the cops in Florida is a badge.

Probably figured the cops would be up for it as long as they got a reasonable share.

Oh, haha...oops!

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The article said that on the 911 call the suspects hung up without saying anything, which prompted the police to respond. So that call will probably be pretty boring.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Omg I read this as 9/11. Was thinking "but surely it all took place on one day? Hence why it's called 9/11" my poor uk brain is still on holiday mode.