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Rajvagli t1_jbi3atx wrote

Reply to comment by reaverdude in Numerous arrests after massive high school brawl that sent officer to hospital by DeathCatforKudi

You think it would do any good to reach out to this person and apologize for how you treated them in the past?

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IchTanze t1_jbi7rnf wrote

I've thought about this too in regards to bullies and people who were bullied, and I think folks just want space away from their trauma, not to be reminded of it. I could be wrong, maybe it would bring closure, but I mostly would think it would be like wtf are you talking to me for.

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UnhingedGecko t1_jbigeyu wrote

As someone who has been bullied Alot in life (an autistic woman) the few bullies who came back and ate crow all made a huge impact on my life. I can only speak for myself but it’s so cathartic. It’s nice to know they feel bad too. Then you can both be free to stop feeling bad.

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Nylear t1_jbiv672 wrote

The worst is when you meet your former bully thats gets hired at your job and then they act like you've best friends and they never bulled you. Luckily they were crappy worker and got fired in a couple of months.

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Witchgrass t1_jbj3d97 wrote

My bully apologized and then died of a stroke a week later in her early twenties. That was confusing emotionally but I suppose that’s what happens when you walk around with so much hate in your heart all the time. Sometimes I think she only apologized because she had some prophetic guilt

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420ipblood t1_jbiyr6z wrote

You don't need permission from someone else to let go.

True forgiveness is a unilateral action and it's a much better feeling than catharsis (wrong word here since there's no real action you're taking unless "listening" is your catharsis) brings.

Seems unfair to put the "action" of forgiveness on the victim but it doesn't change the fact that it results in real positive healing and growth.

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UnhingedGecko t1_jblmtwp wrote

Sure, I’m not waiting on my bullies to apologize to start working on forgiveness, but those apologies, and understanding what they were thinking and why they did what they did to me ( a big issue for me with my autism) helps. 🤷‍♀️

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reaverdude t1_jbi3jwn wrote

Yes it would, but I only know his first name and have no idea where his contact information would be located. This also happened over thirty years ago.

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Rajvagli t1_jbjvweq wrote

If you can’t find the person that is understandable, but for you, it’s most important to accept your past actions and forgive yourself.

Social media could help you find this person, if you feel like looking.

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