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Jimmy_Corrigan t1_j9x4fwe wrote

Leave the first time a partner is abusive.

Staying is choosing to risk your life.

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Highwinter t1_j9x5uip wrote

Unfortunately, leaving is often what triggers these escalations.

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Jimmy_Corrigan t1_j9xci1b wrote

No. These situations are triggered when victims leave after sustained abuse. Leaving early saves your life. The longer you stay, the riskier leaving becomes.

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BonnieIndigo t1_j9yhmat wrote

This may be technically true, but you really don’t understand how abusive situations work, or people who are stuck in them.

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tt0022 t1_j9y1l5f wrote

A yes, so the next time someone holds you at gunpoint you just walk away and won't get shot.

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realfinkployd t1_j9yd05r wrote

I believe the point here is that it doesn’t normally START like that. I’ve known a lot of women who stayed with a guy long after the little warning signs started piling up because they can fix him or he just gets like that sometimes but she knows he really loves her.

It never gets better in that situation. Never.

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IntricateSunlight t1_j9ypl7d wrote

In the case of my ex, she would be abusive towards me and all then for a few weeks things would 'get better' and normalize then it would happen again.

Therapy helped me see that cycle of abuse and emotional manipulation i was in. Note she never abused me physically but mentally and emotionally she did. She'd get very angry and yell at me and say its my fault she's angry,aggressive and yelling at me.

There was a period after we broke up where she was threatening to kill me and I was so afraid I carried a gun everywhere I went. I legitimately considered getting a restraining order on her. She went and got mental health help and she takes meds now and is much more stable and better and now we get along at least.

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