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Algae-Ok t1_ite3mir wrote

I have never heard you can’t file a restraining order for not living with you. You might have to do at the court house in your county.

1

Thatguycris96 t1_ite3n6w wrote

Fuck her man!. Your ex man!. Send it as a video to her.

You can get a restraining order on the person even if y’all didn’t live together though. Or I would assume you that’s posible . I don’t see why you can’t if there’s proof of harassment and more

−6

enabed OP t1_ite3r9z wrote

Replying to Thatguycris96 (#183,057)

I went to the superior court and they told me I can’t get a restraining order on her if I’ve never been in an intimate relationship with her or lived with her

2

BlessedJiggers t1_ite3wop wrote

I’m not a lawyer, this isn’t legal advice, etc. From a practical perspective you can do whatever possible to disengage (don’t respond) and distance (close off avenues she’s using). Beyond that, you can continue filing complaints, especially if what she’s doing or saying is meant to make you afraid for your safety.

7

BlessedJiggers t1_ite4k1r wrote

Replying to enabed (#183,080)

I’m sorry to hear that. This may be above reddit’s pay grade, though a criminal law attorney can take a look at all of the reports you filed over the years, the steps you’ve taken to cut communication, etc. I’m sure you’re doing everything you can to not give her a reaction that encourages her to continue.

1

Snownel t1_ite4o68 wrote

Call the police again. Every time she contacts you, make a record of it and block her. Unfortunately you're correct that you can't get a restraining order in NJ unless you are or were married, dating, screwing, or cohabitating with the other person. Aside from suing her for damages, the only legal way to get her to stop is if they charge her with harassment (2C:33-4) or something worse if applicable.

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jimo95 t1_ite5b26 wrote

Sign a harassment complaint through the municipal court.

8

peter-doubt t1_ite68zv wrote

Replying to enabed (#183,080)

Impersonation is another issue.. it borders on identity theft, And that's a crime

Talk about it in depth with the cops, see if they know a lawyer who is familiar with those issues.

Good luck!

15

huhzonked t1_ite69zc wrote

This might be above Reddit’s pay grade. Have you contacted a lawyer? Have you also contacted the ex wife’s family to let them know she’s continuing to harass you? I don’t know if that’s a good idea 100% but if my family member was harassing someone, I’d perform an intervention with the back of my hand and stop them.

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ChesterNorris t1_ite6un8 wrote

Just curious, is there a reason given?

Or is she a psycho? (Or both?)

1

uniquan t1_ite7091 wrote

r/IllegalLifeProTips

6

bloodandpheromones t1_ite7iyc wrote

Replying to Algae-Ok (#183,054)

OP is correct - they don’t have a qualifying relationship under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, which is how NJ does restraining orders. OP, you CAN, while municipal harassment complaints are pending, get the municipal court judge to put a no contact provision into any continuance orders. You can also possibly file a civil complaint for harassment and seek a no contact order through the Chancery division of the Superior Court, but that can be very hit or miss.

8

Realistic-Captain207 t1_ite7omp wrote

I’ve dealt with the same exact issue from an ex’s ex boyfriend. Over 10 years and after cops and courts got nothing fixed. Only choice was to wait for him to swing first and beat his ass up every single time.

Sooner or later I’m sure it’s gonna escalate to something more than a fist fight, but unfortunately not the cops or the judge give a damn.

17

SierraSeaWitch t1_ite7p7e wrote

Replying to Algae-Ok (#183,054)

In NJ restraining orders can only be taken against someone with whom you have or had a familial or domestic relationship. This covers most family members but also platonic roommates.

3

trixiewutang t1_iteb1cg wrote

Find out her address and mail her termites ???

51

weaselpoopcoffee1 t1_itecgmo wrote

I think this could constitute stalking. If not start harassing her back. Sit outside her house and snap photos of her coming and going etc... Make sure she sees you.

−3

urbjam t1_itemmrz wrote

Go to your municipal court and file the complaint against her yourself.

0

JudyLyonz t1_itemrwj wrote

Do you have any idea why she bugging you? Does she know and can she gt to you physically? Are you afraid for your personal safety and/or the safety of others? Does she have a history of doing this sort of thing?

So what to do?

  • First, see a lawyer, see a lawyer, see a lawyer. Not Lawyer Google, not lawyer "this is what someone from the Internet thinks, but a real flesh and blood attorney. Find out what your legal options are
  • Keep a log of every communication with her:
    • Date and time
    • Who initiated it
    • Is there any precepitating event
    • A screen shot of what was sent or a transcript of everything that was said from Hello to Good Bye
    • Is there any precipitating event shortly after (slashed tires, broken windows, lots of hang up calls, calls to your job, etc)
  • Every time she contacts you, notify the police and add a notation to the log
    • What time and date you called
    • Who you spoke with
    • If they took any kind of official report
    • What they said, any commitments they might have made

And talk to a lawyer.

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SierraSeaWitch t1_itenmys wrote

Replying to MasterXanthan (#184,442)

That is a criminal matter that has to be reported to the police and brought to court by a prosecutor. Restraining Orders under the NJ DV act is civil matter (brought by the individual, not a prosecutor). Different laws. Different courts. Different Judges. Different standards.

5

bishyfemme t1_itez5a9 wrote

There is a podcast called Strictly Stalking that gives many victims a platform to tell their stories that otherwise get buried because they often don’t receive help from the police or courts. They have a link tree on their Instagram with a number of resources for people struggling with this kind of issue.

If I may offer one piece of advice that is always repeated from anyone seeking legal action against someone persisting is to keep detailed records of every single interaction. Without fail.

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elmariachi304 t1_itg2zn0 wrote

Press charges for aggravated harassment

1

Mandy0621 t1_itgftip wrote

Replying to Snownel (#183,130)

Something like this happened to me (a friend) and the police told us that we couldn’t file a complaint because my other friend kept responding to the texts (she’s confrontational). That was in Pennsylvania. Not sure where you are, but basically leaving them unanswered would’ve helped us.

2

bros402 t1_itgguzp wrote

Go to the municipal court and file a civil complaint - judge could put a no-contact provision

2

manfromfuture t1_itgidz3 wrote

Replying to s1ugg0 (#188,363)

No, in fact there are lots of lawyers that give advice there. If you aren't a lawyer you have to indicate as much in your comment. "Get a lawyer" is common advice but they tell you precautions to take in the short term. E.g. call the police each time X happens.

−1

Irish-Bronx t1_itgoqa3 wrote

Do you think you could take her in a fight?

2

beeps-n-boops t1_ith3820 wrote

Why would the fact you never lived together matter? At this point, she is one individual harassing another unrelated individual, no different than a neighbor or a stranger.

1

shywicklow t1_ith42w6 wrote

if she says threateining off the wall stuff record it and then tell her you'll play it for her employer if she has one.

1

One-Mall-950 t1_ith63jm wrote

Civil suit! Make it hurt her financially.

2

justcharliey t1_itiokqt wrote

Document everything, make sure you have video surveillance set up at home and a dash cam in your car. Keep your head on a swivel. Don’t expect much help from the authorities unfortunately.

2