I lived in New Jersey all my life (24 years) and its honestly a great place if you want a calm and peaceful place to be (especially in the sub urbs). I personally love weehawken, edgewater (especially edgewater) and hoboken but those are bigger cities of New Jersey. Its not as quiet as you expect because of how crowded it usually is. It is so hard to find parking in these cities. I usually go to those cities to have fun or drink with friends. However, those cities are great places to live to have new experiences, new foods, and scenic walks. NJ Transit is very reliable and highly utilized throughout jersey. I have taken the Bus many times to the city and depending on the hour, you can get to the city as quickly as 30 min.

In regards to racism, racism in New Jersey is not that prominent. I am an Asian american male and have not experienced any racism. Jersey is also mainly a blue state so you shouldnt worry too much in regards of racism.

If you and your husband are planning on having kids, I highly encourage you guys to move to the sub urbs. The sub urbs are quieter, safer, and have better education systems. North Bergen is great but Bergen County is definitely better for your kids in terms of living standards, comfortability, and education.

Excited for you guys to experience Jersey! Welcome!