Submitted by Proof_Buy7675 t3_10peak9 in newhaven

Single 26 year old Asian female. I like the program at Yale better than my Chicago options, but I want to hopefully make friends (outside of work) and hopefully find a partner. I live in Midwest town of 400k

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_jtron t1_j6jxhxm wrote

I'm from New Haven but have lived in Chicago for a long time. Cost of living seems surprisingly similar. You can meet friends and partners both places. What differences are you most concerned with?

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UndercoverPages t1_j6k5fjw wrote

The two places are very different. Chicago is a huge city with tons of cultural options and New Haven is a small city that is decent for its size. However, I think it's important to know that your choice isn't between the two cities, but rather being in Chicago or being part of the Yale community. Yale is a very large part of the New Haven. Though it is integrated physically with the rest of the city, the university is pretty secluded socially. Since you'll be a part of the Yale community, I'd recommend talking to be who have firsthand knowledge about the social life there since there will be social options available to you that are not open to the public.

I never attended Yale, but I know there are opportunities to socialize outside of your program with other Yalies. For example, Yale has an on-campus pub called Grypon's for graduate students and postdocs. Yale also has a lot of events for its graduate students. You may be better off asking on a Yale subreddit or Facebook group to get specific information on graduate student life.

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friendofwillam t1_j6k5oqr wrote

Agreed. If you make enough of an effort, you can find great friend and romantic partner prospects anywhere. There’s great art, music, food, etc. in New Haven. NYC is also a quick train ride away. I’d definitely recommend moving to CT, but I also don’t know Chicago at all.

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Think_please t1_j6k9o8d wrote

In general I’d choose Chicago over New Haven but if you are at yale and prefer the program there you should be fine. If your program has a lot of students (forestry, law, mba, nursing, md) there will be plenty of social opportunities and the graduate pub is a good place to meet people from other programs if your program is smaller. I can’t specifically speak to the Asian community outside of witnessing several Asian friends from my program seeming to have a number of Asian friends outside of our program.

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greattigergang t1_j6ktecj wrote

For what you're looking for I think life in Chicago will be much easier

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curbthemeplays t1_j6l7i7r wrote

Both areas are pretty diverse and great people to meet. You’re also a <2 hour train ride to NYC from NHV.

I’d honestly be less concerned about the social aspect and more career. If either is better for career, go there.

I’d rather live in NHV because the winters are easier, there’s more outdoors options nearby, and I prefer New England. But otherwise, I don’t have any other strong reasons. They both can be great.

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windrive t1_j6ljf5x wrote

Do keep in mind the difference in airport availability if you intend to fly often.

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cton_uniqueid t1_j6lo3r7 wrote

About half my friends are Yale affiliated, half are not. From the Yale crew, there are certainly those who I wouldn't be surprised if I was the only one they know from outside of the University.

It's an international institution, there are tons of folks who aren't very socially skilled in Academia, there are lots of reasons why people stay within the university socially. There is also no barrier to meeting new people in town. Going to a social event and having someone say "oh, I work at Yale ____" is incredibly common, plenty of folks do it.

On the other hand, depending on what program you're going for you'll have to see if socialization is in the cards whatsoever =p.

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cton_uniqueid t1_j6lp7vb wrote

I see you're the same one who asked about Bradley. Given a disability I'd say this:

(1) For you traveling out: Taking the train to Hartford and then the (dedicated, nice, clean) bus to Bradley is perfect. Personally I travel out of JFK more often, but I'm very comfortable with using the NYC subway system to get from Grand Central (where the new haven line terminates) to the airline access at Jamaica Station. This could be overwhelming to try for the first time, and it's a longer trip than BDL anyway.

(2) For you mom traveling in: If a bus isn't a barrier, then same deal with BDL. If a bus is an issue, then use Newark + Amtrak. I suggest Amtrak in this case because it's direct to New Haven. You could take NJ transit + subway + CT transit instead, but I wouldn't recommend it even for the able bodied if it's all new to you.

Ultimately, it's very easy to fly out of New Haven. I mean, we're talking about Bradley, JFK, Newark, others there mentioned Tweed (great if they have your flight), that's a lot of airports you can get to with public transport in max 3 hrs. How often do you drive 3 hrs to get somewhere in the Midwest, right?

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corcobongo t1_j6m1p5o wrote

If you drink, or if you are comfortable at bars, Yale's graduate bar is a great place to meet people from other programs. We moved to New Haven for my wife's post-doc and I started working at the bar, I met most of my friends there.

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Top-Juggernaut-8258 t1_j6ncpoh wrote

Yale instructs people not to leave the 9 squares and not to interact with local vermin 🤷‍♂️

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