Kindergarten Cut Offs

Submitted by NH_603_Family t3_11b7ups in newhampshire

Hi NH friends. My son will be 5 years old on October 3rd, 2023. He misses our local public school’s kindergarten cut-off date by three days (Sept 30th). Local private options also have a Sept 30 cut off.

I am wondering if any parents have had success in petitioning local boards and/or private school boards to allow early entrance.

I am also wondering which districts have a later cut off date.

Not interested in comments about why my son should stay in pre-k another year, though I do appreciate those arguments and reasons!

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weveran t1_j9wfdjc wrote

I don't have much to add to this conversation, but as one of the youngest in my class (because of the cutoff) it was a little frustrating at certain ages like 16 when all my friends could drive and I couldn't. Depending on where you live, it might be a nice thing to wait.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9wflrq wrote

Thanks for sharing your experience! October 3rd is a tricky birthday to have regarding school enrollment! As a social worker, I definitely appreciate all the research supporting later kindergarten enrollment. But my son definitely needs some sort of leveling-up next year, rather than attending his pre-school for the third year in a row. If you have any ideas for our family, please let me know!

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steelymouthtrout t1_j9wg9el wrote

Because it's a 3-day cutoff ask them to give your child an assessment and see if he's ready for kindergarten. I would push this and push this why not? You don't want to pay for another year of daycare!

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9wh73e wrote

Thank you! I certainly will! It’s truly not about the money…education is VERY important to our family. Our town’s elementary school is not great anyways, so we are open to moving if a different town has a later cut-off date. But I will absolutely try to push this. I believe I may have an argument in that his due-date was Sept 30th, and typically they assess early developmental milestones by due-date, not by birth date. I’m a social worker with a secret lawyer side. 😆

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LilacSlumber t1_j9wsygz wrote

There is a reason the cut off date is Sept 30th. 3 days may not seem like a lot to a 30 or 40 year old, but it is to a 4 year and 5 year old.

Additionally, an academic assessment is not what will determine if a 4 year old is ready for full day Kindergarten. Kindergarten is 20% academics and 80% social/emotional.

Source - I've taught kinder for over 10 years and 1st grade for 9.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9wtco8 wrote

Thank you for your input! I’m willing to have my child assessed in all areas of developmental readiness for kindergarten - not just academics. I do understand that a large part of readiness has nothing to do with academics. I would be interested to learn the results of such an assessment, so I can better understand (from an objective point of view) my child’s development. I strongly feel that another year at his pre-school will bore him and not help him progress academically OR socially / emotionally. So I’m looking for a place that will better fit his needs - be it kindergarten (public or private) or another preschool aimed at 4-5 year olds. If you hav any suggestions, please let me know! And thank you for your service to our kiddos!

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George_GeorgeGlass t1_j9yhkl8 wrote

He really doesn’t have to “progress academically” at his age. Let him be a kid. He’s going there to socialize and play, not get ready for the SAT. It will be far more beneficial to him to be the older member of his class as opposed to the too young member of class for the next 13 years. Try a different Pre-K if this one is a problem but there is no benefit in rushing him and possibly actual detriment.

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LilacSlumber t1_j9wu7lr wrote

Do you mind saying what area you are in?

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9wv2ho wrote

I live in the Mount Washington Valley (Conway) surrounding area.

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LilacSlumber t1_j9wzk3k wrote

I have had many students who have attended a private school kinder or Montessori kinder before coming to public school kinder for this reason. If there are any around you, definitely look into them.

I'm not sure how one more year of preschool will not allow your child to progress socially...? Being one of the oldest and biggest in his preschool class will teach him leadership and patience as well as give him more confidence.

Maybe you just need to find a different preschool or a pre-kinder program for him.

(I am not able to give you specific facility names because I am not familiar with your area, sorry.)

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9x3jg2 wrote

Thank you so much for your response! Yes - I am looking into other pre-k options in my area. They are very expensive, though for the right fit I’d be willing to pay! There are also some local private and/or charter kindergarten options, which may have more flexible boards than the public elementary school.

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LilacSlumber t1_j9zsyqz wrote

Keep in mind that private and charter schools do not always staff certified teachers, in case that matters to you.

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myfacepwnsurs t1_j9x368c wrote

OP my sister lives in SAU9 and her kids birthday was October 5. She petitioned for early entrance to kindergarten and was met with a resounding no. As a matter of fact that dickhead Kevin Richard said “my kids birthday is October 7th and she didn’t get any special treatment and yours can’t either.” So my sister opted to wait a year to enroll her kid in kindergarten.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9x3c4a wrote

Would you mind sharing (here or in a message) which school specifically this occurred at? There are many elementary schools within SAU9, and yes, that is our district. Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge!

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nic425 t1_j9xpjy3 wrote

I think fryeburg’s cutoff is mid October

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PolarBlueberry t1_j9ytwh2 wrote

My brother is Oct 4 and started kindergarten at age 4. He’s a full grown adult now, but many times has stated he wished my parents waited a year to enroll him. He always felt behind his peers, and was very awkward when he started college at 17. It’s a tough birthday regarding school, but most fall birthday kids that started a year early I know would have rather have been the oldest kids in the class than the youngest.

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RickyDaytonaJr t1_j9wh1gc wrote

My daughter missed by three weeks last year. I inquired about the cutoff date with the school district just out of curiosity and didn’t get any sense that it was negotiable. The extra year of daycare was expensive, and she was bored as hell (being the oldest kid in pre-school when all of your friends are going to kindergarten sucks). But, it wasn’t all bad. In the end, she was much more ready for kindergarten.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9whthd wrote

Thanks for sharing! I am so worried about the year of boredom. In addition, I have been only like 60% happy with the director / primary teacher at his preschool. She recently told me that my son mostly plays by himself, “where he seems happiest” and otherwise gravitate towards the younger girls. Um…I’m not paying for my son to just be “happy”…I’m paying for him to learn social and academic and life skills. She can be unresponsive at times (admittedly I’m a bit more involved and worried than most parents) and I wish she had told me this earlier / did more to try to engage him with the older kids’ activities. I’m worried he will be so bored or even regress next year playing with three year olds.

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RickyDaytonaJr t1_j9wkgv7 wrote

IMO, preschool should involve lots of group activities and dramatic play to encourage creativity and build social skills. Every child is different though, and it’s OK for kids to explore their own interests too. On some days at preschool, my daughter would be “running an ice cream shop” with other kids during dramatic play. On other days, she’d spend time by herself completely focused on doing puzzles.

Good luck to you and your son (whether in preschool or kindergarten this year)!

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adk35 t1_j9ybilo wrote

This is preschool-happiness is vital to a child’s development and ability to learn. Preschool should be play based. He has 13 years of schooling ahead of him, 4/5 year olds should be playing and having fun. Happiness will set the stage for future successful learning.

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curkington t1_j9wxg0a wrote

My brother started his kids a year late and all 3 excelled through school and college and have outstanding jobs.

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scarletuba t1_ja4oeo5 wrote

Yuuurp. I specifically found a daycare for my son that is play-based and I intend to keep that style until he's ready for kindergarten. We do lots of learning activities in our home, what we can't provide is practice interacting with peers.

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Qbncgr t1_j9wk19z wrote

Not sure what town you are in, but Nashua allows petitioning for age exception.

“A parent/guardian may request early admission to kindergarten or first grade. There will be no exceptions for children with birthdates beyond October 31. If the conditions are met, the child will be assessed for social, enotional and academic readiness in the summer. Parents must contact Student Services in the Masse School Administration Building to request early admission packet before June 1 of the upcoming school year.”

https://www.nashua.edu/Page/717

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Happy_Confection90 t1_j9xf8mw wrote

My mom's birthday was also October 3rd, and her school system in Massachusetts also had the same cutoff. Her parents got around it by sending her to Catholic school so she could start kindergarten at age 4.

She so very much hated being one of the very youngest kids every year that when the possibility of me skipping a grade came up she vetoed it because was already one of the younger kids in my grade..and I was in my 30s before she admitted it had been suggested, twice!

My younger brother went to Readiness (anymore remember that? In the late 80s it was an extra grade between kindergarten and first grade) because he had at that point untreated ADHD, and she only agreed to let him skip 6th grade because he would be with kids the same age as him.

I understand my mom's stance about not wanting to set us up to be the least mature in our classes. Of the 4 kids I knew who graduated high school at 17, only one of them graduated college 4 years later.

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Solid_Information_66 t1_j9xyxpe wrote

I will be honest and tell you that I don't think a petition is going to do anything. There is a cut off for a reason and if they make an exception for you, then they have to do it for everyone. It sucks, I know. My youngest has an October birthday and missed that cut off date by a week. She started kindergarten at 6 and loves that she is one of the oldest in her class!

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adk35 t1_j9yarlh wrote

If your child doesn’t get into K think of it as an extra year of childhood. Pushing into kindergarten means an extra year of adulthood.

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misschelsea t1_j9zgkmu wrote

Yes. This is so important, Childhood is precious. Sitting at a desk they can do for the rest of their lives. They will all eventually read and do math eventually if they are capable.

Reach out to the school administration for an exemption if this is the course you need, be prepared for a little bit of eye rolling and assessments if they let it go that far. It may be a district thing but reach out to the school first.

I understand the economics of needing childcare but we don’t let kids be kids anymore and I think there will eventually be consequences for that. Whichever way you go it’ll be fine. Good luck.

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procrastinatorsuprem t1_j9wkbbs wrote

My son's birthday is in the spring and he was one of the youngest boys in his class. I have a fall bday and thought my kid would be great shape having a spring birthday. (I hated being one of the youngest in my whole grade, so I wanted my kids to have spring birthdays.)

Many parents of kids with summer birthdays keep their kids out, especially boys. So he was so young compared to so many other boys. Academically, he was fine. In sports it was tricky because so many boys were at least 9 months older than him.

States like NY and RI have later cut offs and kids who move here from those states can be a year younger than their NH classmates.

Schools I've seen are very hesitant to let kids get past the cut off. They're concerned about academics but also the social emotional aspects of being younger now and in the years to come.

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are_we_in_a_fight t1_j9zquso wrote

I feel like if you're so concered about your kid being "bored," then maybe his preschool just isn't a good fit. But it also seems concerning that he mainly plays by himself-- he probably would actually benefit more from another year of preschool so he can have the opportunity to work more on building friendships and social skills and just being a kid. If he's bored and doesn't really have friends, I'm not sure pushing him into kindergarden is the answer he needs. And academically strong or not, a competent evaluator will note those traits as not being kindergarden ready.

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CoffeeAutomatic2934 t1_j9y5c95 wrote

Two of my boys are October and missed the cut off. Trust me. Don't rush them into school. Take advantage of them being older then the other kids. None of the kids notice the subtle age difference, but your child will do much better in school.

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los-gokillas t1_j9ygxeb wrote

I was born on October 6th so I missed my cutoff by a very similar amount. It was pretty sweet to be driving like one month into my sophomore year.

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AFrame88 t1_ja06f90 wrote

I suggest waiting another year, here’s why… I just barely made the cut off for first grade but started at 5 yo anyway, and I was developmentally a year behind my peers until I was held back in 4th grade. That was tough to live through for several reasons. Now your child may be ready, which would then negate the thought behind this, but something to consider.

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[deleted] t1_j9wn58y wrote

[deleted]

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9ws3ew wrote

Would you mind messaging me to share what district has the 10/31 cut-off date? I would SO appreciate it!

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paraplegic_T_Rex t1_j9x5fc2 wrote

I’ve been considering the opposite with my son. He’s a mid-September baby and I want to hold him back because he’s too young. Is that possible to do?

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9x61lq wrote

I believe it is. Compulsory school age for kids in NH is 6.

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paraplegic_T_Rex t1_j9x66at wrote

He would turn 6 at the very end of the school year given the Sept 30th cut off date. Basically he wouldn’t be 6 until 1st grade had already began.

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EmeraldMoose12 t1_j9x5n0w wrote

It’s not that big of a deal. My elementary school had the same cut off. And I missed it by less than two weeks. The “young kids” of my grade wore it as a badge of honor. My best friend (to this day) was one of the other “young kids”. I can’t think of too many ways it affected me negatively.

Now a days, I think it’s better to be among the youngest in the grade. Graduate high school at 17 instead of 18. Graduate college at 21.

The only odd thing was celebrating my 18th birthday my first few months of Freshman year. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9x67bc wrote

Thanks for sharing your experience! I’d rather have him go early and need to repeat a grade than go “late” and need to repeat a grade…then be turning 19 during October of his senior year. Yikes.

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EmeraldMoose12 t1_j9x8s5g wrote

Why are you concerned about him repeating?

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are_we_in_a_fight t1_j9zrbhn wrote

Right? That's an odd assumption.

And to note-- it's no longer standard to "hold kids back" because of the social implications. So it's kind of a moot point.

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chrisabella t1_j9wg7nr wrote

Happy you posted this because I’m in a similar position - my daughter is an early Oct 2018 baby too. I haven’t seen any schools in southern NH with cutoffs past Sept.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9whbce wrote

You are SO welcome. I spent an hour on Google and could not find any table with kindergarten entrance dates by district. How frustrating! I hope we can figure this out!!!

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LilacSlumber t1_j9wtz2s wrote

Edit - The below comment is inaccurate in regards to NH. My apologies for being totally wrong.

Kindergarten entrance age is set by the state, not by districts.

There are 3 or 4 states who let local districts set the cut off dates, but NH is not one of them.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9wv00g wrote

Yes it is. NH kindergarten ages are by district.

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LilacSlumber t1_j9wylsp wrote

I am sorry. I was told by my last three districts that the Sept 30th date was state mandated. When I looked up all state age cut offs, I didn't even bother to look at NH's because I assumed I knew the cut off date.

Will edit my comment. Thank you for the correction.

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NH_603_Family OP t1_j9x3lkg wrote

No problem! As you can see, I have been frantically doing my research on this! 😆

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LilacSlumber t1_j9wtszs wrote

It's a state mandate, not by district.

Only 3 states have a cut off date that goes past Sept 30th and one of them is Oct 1st.*

This date was not randomly picked by some random person, it is research based and enforced for a reason.

*There are 3 or 4 states who let local districts choose the cut off dates, but it looks like these are all states that do not require Kindergarten. (New Hampshire also does not require Kindergarten.)

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Nik_Guy t1_j9wm9t6 wrote

I’m not sure how they do it now. But I was 4 when I entered grammar school. And 17 when I graduated high school. School started in august, I think? My birth date is in late September, also went to school with a girl in the same grade who’s birthday was late November

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WapsuSisilija t1_j9wqiut wrote

It's usually a Board policy. You can ask for an exception. They are highly unlikely to grant it.

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bingqiling t1_j9ya0nu wrote

Your best bet would be to reach out to the school principal and request a meeting or ask what the process is for requesting an exemption. They should be able to let you know the steps!

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hound29 t1_j9yfa0t wrote

Private kindergarten in Woburn Mass accepts 4 yo - maybe too much of a drive but an option

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alkatori t1_j9yx6ok wrote

My son is 6 and in Kindergarten now. Also missed the cut-off, but there are a good number of students his age in his class.

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zeeke42 t1_ja8phxg wrote

FWIW, my son has an early September birthday. We used to live in MA, where the cutoff was 8/30. One of the advantages of our move to NH was the 9/30 cutoff allowing him to go to K a year sooner.

We were in a very similar situation, where we were very concerned about him being bored and leading to behavior issues. He's doing well in K, though the social stuff is still a work in progress. I'm not sure how much of this is related to going early and how much is because he lost a year of socialization during COVID.

All in all, I'm glad we sent him early, but we agonized over the decision for months and will never really know if it was the right one. There are advantages in both directions. Having the decision out of your hands isn't the worst thing.

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