I think he might be, yeah but it doesn’t take away from the story for me. there can be a few ways to look at it, he did walk away from his children but in an effort to save humanity. but he did it for his children in a way, and for his grandchildren and those who come after. I own this movie so i’d have to watch it again for the nitty-gritty but there also the paradoxes that come into time travel. it has to be him because it is him. he sends himself the coordinates for the lab/base which causes a domino effect that led to him eventually leaving (because he already left) and didn’t he say that the people from millions of years in the future who opened the wormhole chose him?
also he’s a brilliant man who served his country in whatever effort was his past life and now he’s a farmer (don’t get me wrong, farming is amazing and i’d love to sell it all and buy a farm and live a more simple life but i’m also not facing extinction). this could be argued as a sense of duty towards his nation which is hard to overcome; parents leave their kids all the time to go on deployments with promises of coming home.
also, i’m not sure I agree that this is his dream. yes I agree that being a pilot was a big part of his identity and there’s def ‘fish out of water’ context throughout the set up for the movie but none of it comes off as his dream.

also as a side note, there is an argument in there somewhere that Tony is adopted in the MCU. been thinkin about that a lot since my last Endgame rewatch