Submitted by Kitchen_Shine t3_zxxo08 in movies
lucia-pacciola t1_j246fs5 wrote
Scatter all the main characters on an island, give them a few hours to get ready, and then send up the starting flare?
We can write off at least half of them right away, for not being that kind of killer. All the Reservoir Dogs. Hans Landa. Stuntman Mike. Maybe a couple of the Dogs have the guts and the background to hold out for a while, but realistically none of them are making it to the quarter finals. Nobody from Jackie Brown goes the distance. But Jackie Brown herself calmly puts together a desperate plan, somehow gets overlooked in the final clash, and makes her way off the island when it's all over.
The ladies from Death Proof probably last a little while, but they're basically a bunch of girls at slasher sleepaway camp. Part of what makes that movie is that all of the girls are obviously supposed to die in comically horrible ways, but they don't. In a BR situation, Zoe Bell is final girl. Maybe she makes it to the quarter finals based on her sheer luck. And in the end she can't save her friends.
But then you've got some stone killers who know a thing or two about a thing or two. Buck from Kill Bill is exactly the kind of redneck hillbilly you'd expect to thrive on a deserted island, creeping around out-killing a bunch of killers. In fact, all of Bill's crew have some fieldcraft. I'd put my money on Beatrix Kiddo, from that bunch.
The Basterds are on a mission. No mission, they'll lose their unit cohesion and all fall by the wayside except Lt. Aldo Rayne, who was clearly born for this kind of work. He'll give Buck a run for his money, but in the end Kiddo takes him down. Or Django.
In an ironic twist, Butch from Pulp Fiction ends up surviving a while by resorting to the same VC guerrilla tactics that got his father captured and ultimately dead in a POW camp. Does he make it to the quarter finals? If he does, he's the only one from that movie to do so.
The Hateful Eight includes some bad motherfuckers, and they're all probably somewhat familiar with wilderness living. But all of them are jerkasses with fatal flaws.
In the end, my vote is >!Winston Wolf. It's clear the Wolf is a man of resource and long experience. He probably knows as much about killing, and surviving, as he knows about cleaning up murder scenes and driving the streets of LA. Take off that tuxedo, he's still the Wolf. Drop him butt-ass naked on an island full of killers and give him ten minutes to prepare, he's still the Wolf.!<
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