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Deadsoup77 t1_j6kpwp4 wrote

Aries!

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon

Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

25

MyFutureAsAFreyan t1_j6mahgd wrote

Taurus!

You will never find true happiness. Whatcha gonna do? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.

8

Cister0 t1_j6me39n wrote

Scorpio!

Your feeling have been hurt again, so dig that hole, harden your exo-skeleton, and never interact with anybody ever again. And if they try, inject poison.

8

KuraidoV t1_j6nkf2g wrote

Saggitarius!
All your friends are laughing behind your back
(music stops)
KILL THEM.
Take down all those naked pictures of

Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den

5