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Shnikes t1_j1qxn2q wrote

Reply to comment by funsk8mom in Anyone else has the flu? by Emergency-Candy1677

Can you explain? My wife is a teacher. She gets only so many paid sick days. Going without pay would hurt us financially. Mostly because of daycare itself. Because we either send the kids to daycare that we pay for or she takes too many sick days and we can’t pay for daycare. If we don’t pay daycare we lose our spot. If we can’t send our kids to for daycare then one of us needs to quit our jobs. If one of us needs to quit our jobs it makes it difficult to pay for our bills.

I’m just wondering how you’ve made these sacrifices unless your partner makes a significant amount of money that allows you to live life without worrying about money.

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funsk8mom t1_j1r2bir wrote

When they were young I didn’t work. That’s the sacrifice I had to make. We had to survive on his paycheck and my savings. Daycare was too expensive for 4 kids and if they got sick then I was able to be home with them. He doesn’t make enough for me to have stayed home but it’s what worked.

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MOGicantbewitty t1_j1rbmyj wrote

> When they were young I didn’t work.

Do you see how lucky you were compared to everyone else?

>We had to survive on his paycheck and my savings.

You had savings? Do you know how many people WISH they had this, or the option to live on one paycheck? You had a partner to share the costs? Do you know how many single mothers there are?

>He doesn’t make enough for me to have stayed home but it’s what worked.

Except he did make enough. Because you DID stay home. So like you said, it worked.

You have so much financial privilege that you don’t even know how lucky you were to even be able to have four kids, never mind have ANY choice in staying home. With savings?!?!?

I’m happy you were able to do that! For real, no sarcasm! But you need to adjust your thinking quite a bit if you think you didn’t have it better than 80% of parents

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funsk8mom t1_j1rel0e wrote

And I sacrificed everything. Years without a haircut so I could get my kids one. Years without new clothes so I could send my kids to school in properly fitted clothes. There was just enough dinner for the kids and husband, I didn’t have enough for me. Days of going to visit the grandparents during the day hiding the fact that we went there to stay warm because we ran out of oil and didn’t have the money to fill the tank. Phones turned off because bills weren’t paid (including landline). Dr appointments postponed because I didn’t have gas money, copay or parking money.

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MOGicantbewitty t1_j1rgzk1 wrote

Yes, and you were still better off than most parents. Please think about that. You think you are the only one who sacrificed, when you’ve actually had to sacrifice so much less than other parents. Did you choose to have 4 kids? Because the majority of people don’t have that many children and struggle just as hard, even with two incomes. The people you are judging for sending their kids to school when they can’t take the time off are doing worse than you ever did. My point is that you chose to be a teacher, and you struggled but never struggled as hard as most people did, so you should stop being so judgmental towards people doing the best they can in crappy circumstances.

Schools have ALWAYS been where germs are spread. And during the pandemic, people like me were still out there providing public services in person. Currently, Waitresses, grocery store clerks, retail, pharmacy techs and clerks, bank tellers, realtors, ummm, everyone!, gets exposed to sick people regularly without their consent. Choosing to be a teacher is choosing to be exposed to childhood germs more frequently than most, just like choosing to work in public service Means I’m exposed too.

Teachers aren’t any more special than everyone else. And you are being super judgmental when your experiences should show you that if YOU had it rough, with a partner and savings, then you you should realize that other people without savings or partners have it worse. Try empathy. You’ll be a better teacher and parent. Says a former teacher and a parent.

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GrouchyPerspective83 t1_j1rwek9 wrote

I understand your side of things but I have to disagree ...that teachers are really special. Education is everything to make the world a better place.

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MOGicantbewitty t1_j1rxt36 wrote

First, I appreciate your respectful disagreement. And second, yes! Education is wonderful and vital to making the world a better place!

My point is that teachers aren’t any more special than all the other people who choose a career in public service, sacrifice for that public service career, and are put at risk in a variety of ways for that job. Or even more deserving of respect than anyone else in the world who are paid too little and have to be exposed to illness regularly. Like anyone in any public facing job.

Being a teacher is a wonderful calling, but it comes with certain downsides. The same as any other job. I will certainly say that they are more special than, say, someone who day trades for a living. They provide so much more to society! But not anymore than other public servants, and they shouldn’t be elevated to a position where they are both revered as making huge sacrifices while complaining about the sacrifices.

I say this as someone who has spent her entire career in government and nonprofit service. I work more hours and get paid the same, with tons of environmental risks. And NO ONE is happy to see a conservation agent show up at a job site or require a permit. But I chose this career. Public service comes with costs… I accept the costs in my career because I believe in its greater good.

But thank you for the reasonable and appropriate way you disagree with me! This is how good conversations happen. :)

Edit: “appropriate” was a weird word choice, but I can’t think of another better word right now

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funsk8mom t1_j1rh7lz wrote

I didn’t have 4 individual pregnancies

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MOGicantbewitty t1_j1rijhz wrote

Okay? That changes anything I said how? You still had it easier than most, and are still being judgmental and ignorant about how others live? The fact that you didn’t choose to have 4 children in 4 pregnancies completely backs up my point.

The point being that you should be able to emphasize since most people struggle just as bad without 4 children. And just like you may not have chosen to have four children in fewer than four pregnancies, plenty of parents didn’t choose to get pregnant in the first place, or to be a single parent. Try some empathy

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