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InspectorFun1699 OP t1_jd7wtwj wrote

Reply to comment by bcb1200 in Looking into moving to Mass. Would love to hear about the good, the bad, the ugly of living in your wonderful state! by InspectorFun1699

That’s good to know! My sister lived in VT for some years so I had heard of Massholes but didn’t know if that was a real thing or hyperbole haha

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WinsingtonIII t1_jd838g9 wrote

I think the whole "asshole" part of Massholes is overblown. It mostly refers to the aggressive driving (which is definitely a real thing).

But otherwise I think what the other user is more referring to is the fact that New Englanders are reserved compared to the rest of the US (this isn't just a MA thing, it applies in most parts of New England). We don't really feel comfortable having small talk with strangers and we may treat a stranger coming up to us and trying to strike up conversation without a specific reason with some suspicion. This can be uncomfortable for people from other parts of the US where small talk is the norm, but for many New Englanders, having a stranger get into a long conversation with us makes us a bit uncomfortable, it's a cultural difference. My experience is that many Northern European countries are similar in this regard.

But it's not like everyone is going to swear and scream at you just because you said "hi." It can take a while to get to know people around here, but the people are generally perfectly kind and helpful if you have a specific reason to engage them in conversation. For instance, asking for directions, people will certainly help you. They may look at you weird if you just walk up to them and go "how's it going?" with no specific reason to talk to them.

Once you get to know New Englanders, they tend to be loyal friends, it just takes a while to get them to open up.

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ay-o-river t1_jd873s6 wrote

I’ll never forget being in a cvs in Richmond VA and a guy IN THE OTHER AISLE said hello to me and got offended that I didn’t immediately say hello back

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InspectorFun1699 OP t1_jdczeux wrote

This would absolutely happen where I live! and we'll hold the door open for ya when you're half a mile away and wait patiently for you to pass through even though it probably stresses you the F out

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InspectorFun1699 OP t1_jdczagm wrote

I appreciate your insight! Coming from Chicago and having lived in N Europe for a spell, I was used to keeping to myself, then had the huge NC culture shock of "we must interact with everyone always and they will offer their opinions and pity on every aspect of my life even in an elevator" I'm used to it now and it's fine and I'm probably one of them! But good to know there will be another cultural/social transition ahead. As a natural introvert, should be a comfortable change! I honestly love love love experiencing new places so hopefully this will be ok too

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Unique-Public-8594 t1_jdhalzr wrote

Honestly, I think the reserved and unfriendly stereotype is exaggerated. I think you will have plenty of friends and great neighbors. It just takes one organizer to have weekly pizza and wine block parties. It only takes one organizer to go out after work. There are plenty of ways to find a gym buddy.

Some people distrust nonlocals but I’d say that’s only 5-10%.

Some people have filled their friend roster but I’d say that’s only 5-10%.

Truth is, lots of people are lonely and will welcome your friendship.

Meeting people through your children is extra easy.

If someone snubs you, you probably don’t want them as a friend any way.

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