It's a hard balance. And I'm not trying to be critical of your beliefs, because we are an agnostic family as well. But I do, having gotten certified to teach math and physics, understand what it's like to keep control of a rowdy classroom at times!!

Unfortunately I don't know if there's really any right or wrong here, since we all have different perspective on things. Either way I hope everything works out well for you and your son.

One of the drawbacks of Western Massachusetts is that there aren't a lot of school options, it's not like you could just take your kid out ( Not that you would ever want to do that) and put him in another local elementary school, especially if you are here in Berkshire county where everything is so far apart... So as a parent you definitely feel like you have to be carefully/diplomatically straddling that line between diplomacy, and standing up for your child.