This is accurate and it's important to separate uptown Hoboken (broadly: strollers and couples) and downtown/PATH adjacent Hoboken (broadly: bro-ish).

Having lived in both places, a lot of Hoboken's "fratty stuff" is actually from people in the suburbs driving in and bro-ing out. It was weird how many outsiders would come in on Thrs/Fri/Sat nights to the same ~5 bars. I don't know why they wouldn't keep going to NYC, but I guess they wanted the scene they got in Hoboken. This definitely happens in Downtown JC as well but not nearly as big of an influx.

For the OP, regarding JC - there's an excellent sticky that addresses a lot of what you're looking for (and plenty of warnings about looking for $3k rent in a new/high rise/luxury). I'm not sure if Downtown JC is in your budget, but if it is, I find Hamilton Park/Harsimus Cove/Van Vorst to be more low key and friendly, Newport to be more transient (out of town transplants who turn over more often/are just looking for clean apts with good commutes and little community), Paulus Hook like Newport but with slightly different cachet. In all of these places you will find lots of families, especially with young kids, it is mostly white and English speaking but far from homogeneous, and as LGBT friendly as anywhere in NYC, even if the LGBT population isn't as high as say, Chelsea. In those ways, it feels very much like Manhattan or inner Brooklyn even if the demographics are a bit different (these comparisons may or may not help you as someone from CA).