It's tough to choose. Are you bringing a car? If so Jersey City is going to be the better bet because it's cheaper to park there. I got a deal at one point for $180 downtown (normally it's around $250 but much more in Hoboken). If I had to do it again I might choose Hoboken but I'm not 100% sure.

For me Hoboken is a more happening scene. Washington Street in Hoboken is like a mile long strip of bars and restaurants. It's a very active social scene there and people are mostly in your age group. Downtown Jersey City is very nice and some areas like Paulus Hook and Hamilton Park are beautiful, reminiscent of Brooklyn Heights with tree lined Brownstones. Downtown Jersey City also has a lot of decent restaurants and some cool bars, but compared to Hoboken I would describe it as almost sleepy. I've seen bars call last call at 11. The other thing with JC is there is a lot more variance in quality of neighborhoods. Hoboken is generally uniformly nice but JC can go real hood real fast. You can find deals in places like Journal Square but those neighborhoods haven't arrived yet.

The nice thing with JC is accessibility to New York. To get to Manhattan is five minutes on the PATH train. That's true of Hoboken as well but the problem with Hoboken is the PATH station is on the extreme south side of town so depending you could be doing a lot of walking. JC has multiple PATH stops. Also the areas along the river downtown like Newport and Paulus Hook and Exchange Place are safe and quiet with spectacular views of lower Manhattan. The ferries are right there too.

The one thing to be aware of with both JC and Hoboken is that unless you take the Pulaski Skyway, which can be a horrific traffic nightmare, every road in and out is a toll road and the tolls arent cheap. I go to the gym in Florham Park which is near Madison (both are beautiful, picturesque, upscale towns just watch the cops because they ticket like crazy out there) and I can get out that way via the Pulaski Skyway avoiding tolls in around 25 minutes with no traffic from downtown JC. Hoboken would add a few minutes to that depending on traffic. Also driving in snow is something to have to consider. It hasn't snowed yet this year but your job is kinda in the mountains (foothills really) so when it does snow you're gonna really be dealing with tough driving conditions.

The other thing to note is that if you spend time in Manhattan as I'm sure you will ferries from NJ are generally more expensive going to Manhattan. $8 one way. Also while the PATH uses the same MetroCard as the NYC subway it's a different system so you have to pay separately (I use Smart pass for the PATH and Google pay via OMNY ap for the subway and just use my phone to swipe me through the turnstiles in the city). Also Uber drivers aren't really supposed to operate in two states at a time so sometimes you get some push back Ubering back from the city. In JC the PATH train always runs and is almost always clean and safe but Hoboken hours can be a crap shoot especially on weekends. The Port authority is not kind to Hoboken for some reason with PATH hours. Also don't drive into Manhattan. The Holland Tunnel toll is like $15. If there's any disadvantages to NJ it's all the damn expensive tolls everywhere.

You might also consider just up the road from Hoboken in Edgewater or Weehawken which are super nice with great views and generally safe and quiet. The light rail runs through to take you to the PATH or the Weehawken ferry can take you to Manhattan (ferries are the cheat codes - awesome way to get into town).

From a price standpoint neither Hoboken or JC is cheap but both are cheaper than Manhattan and Brooklyn. Of the two Hoboken is more expensive overall, it's just a hip, trendy place. Parking can get near NYC prices ($500 a month because of limited availability). You'll get better deals in JC, but it's slightly less happening overall. But honestly who cares? You're a ten minute ride from the West Village and you can party your heart out in the city as much as you want. The World Trade Center is literally two minutes from Exchange Place in Jersey City and from there you can catch almost all the Manhattan subways anywhere you want to go.

The only downside to being single in NJ (and I think this is less a factor for women than men) is that the NJ stigma is real with people in New York. No one is coming to hang in Jersey City and probably not that often in Hoboken. Most people in Manhattan couldn't even tell you where the PATH train stations were in town even though there's like three on Sixth Avenue. I can't tell you the number of Tinder profiles that say "I don't come to New Jersey," even though it's faster to get there than to Brooklyn or Queens, quieter, often safer, and your place will be 10x nicer than anyone you know in the city (probably with a washer and dryer in your apartment) people still will not come to NJ unless they're from there. Again I think men are more willing to venture to Jersey but with women, as a guy I can tell you telling a woman I live in JC is akin to saying I live in St Louis. I've had to accept that either I'm the one always going into the city or if I find someone it will be in Hoboken or JC or somewhere on this side.