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Zkenny13 t1_iu0bq2c wrote

That's your skull. Don't fuck with hippos

81

Marc123123 t1_iu0flcb wrote

That's your enemy skull. Let them fuck with hippos.

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GarretTheGrey t1_iu1y817 wrote

I'd go to a mechanic if he had one of these guys helping press my bushings and ball joints.

3

Use_The_Sauce t1_iu3qqbx wrote

I once stuck my ball joint into the mouth of .. wait .. sorry .. off topic. Never mind.

2

AdditionalTheory t1_iu0fxwg wrote

Is just me or is this just terrifying?

41

Alabussy OP t1_iu0gsr7 wrote

Hippos are monsters, dude.

They kill more people in a year than sharks, bears, tigers, and vending machines combined. They can lie in wait – motionless – for hours on end... then launch themselves forward with speed and agility that their massive forms would seem to make impossible. They're also stone-cold murderers with tempers as short as Elon Musk's... well, they're short, that's what I'm saying.

The lion might be "king of the jungle," but the hippopatomus is emperor of Africa.

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Fishinabowl11 t1_iu1fw5r wrote

Tell me more about these killer vending machines.

11

GarretTheGrey t1_iu1ym4s wrote

When your drink gets stuck, you shake the machine to loosen it, therefore fucking around. More people have been finding out than with sharks for the last two decades or so.

3

IAMBUDE t1_iu3syu6 wrote

It seems there is a direct correlation between fucking around and finding out as explained here.

0

ShakyFtSlasher t1_iu1pciq wrote

A lot of people die from vending machines tipping over on them.

1

Use_The_Sauce t1_iu3qsk0 wrote

Good news for the vending machine is it had a human break it’s fall.

1

KittensMeow666 t1_iu224a3 wrote

*SLAPS HIPPO * you see this baby right here, eats away you're enemy's skulls like a ninja blender. It pays for it self.

1

BisquickNinja t1_iu1j6ho wrote

Although some hippos have tried to challenge elephants and it didn't work out so well.

2

ReidWitt1 t1_iu0xhg1 wrote

No tyrant is a more accurate title for the hippos

1

GarretTheGrey t1_iu1z6xx wrote

Their derpy eyes fool you into thinking the super nom ain't coming

1

Bierbart12 t1_iu0gsk8 wrote

It's kinda cute to me. Just like every other killing machine that can rip us apart

19

pfc_bgd t1_iu34mhs wrote

The little one in the back is definitely cute

3

Dimplestrabe t1_iu3it7y wrote

Imagine star jumping naked into that water and onto the head of the baby, then trying to steal it.
All while screaming profanity at the mother.
That would be a novel suicide.

0

SoupahCereal t1_iu0fyy4 wrote

The little baby floating in the background 😭

19

Dangerpaladin t1_iu10lv9 wrote

That's Fiona and she is a national treasure and the queen of Cincinnati.

11

asstro_not t1_iu2nvhd wrote

It’s Fritz, her little brother. Fiona is big now. Not sure if it’s Fiona in this video though, the post on Instagram doesn’t say.

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SoupahCereal t1_iu10zzh wrote

Baby hippos, rhinos, and elephants are the most adorable things in existence

2

woodstock444 t1_iu0l6uk wrote

Fiona and her little brother Fritz!

6

Only4DNDandCigars t1_iu0edih wrote

I went to a zoo where I could feed hippos and the degree to which they could extend their jaw amazed me. Is he being sheepish with that pumpkin or is that more the norm?

2

tehDustyWizard t1_iu0q1m4 wrote

They're probably being slow and careful around their handler. If they are fast and aggressive they probably don't get hand fed lol, but idk I'm not a hippo expert by any means

5

DemonicDevice t1_iu0c21v wrote

You know who wishes he could have a taste of that delicious snack? Harambe. RIP

1

Channel5exclusive t1_iu0jnrf wrote

"... And that's why we don't mess with the hippos." - Papa Elephant

1

FCAsheville t1_iu0nnkd wrote

Worst game of Hungry Hungry Hippos ever!

1

Jonny_Oilyrag t1_iu1gq52 wrote

I wonder what a hippo tastes like? I’d give hippo ribs a try.

1

golem64 t1_iu1l2tm wrote

She's crushing it.

1

PineconeToucher t1_iu24vu6 wrote

Lol when he chomped it and most of the pumpkin fell out of his mouth except the stem part. Yum

1

WorldLieut8 t1_iu26vq4 wrote

We’ve got horror movies about lions, boars, sharks, spiders, and even ticks.

How have we not made one about these things yet?

1

speakins t1_iu2ep25 wrote

Me, all fall long baby!

1

mufcordie t1_iu3zyzu wrote

Do you think he liked it

1

EliseGraspMid t1_iu63qik wrote

Hippo: i sustain on the blood of my ennemies.
Also hippo: that will do fine.

1