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StevenIndieSparkle t1_j78gvwj wrote

After watching the Amy documentary, and finding out how empty she felt inside during this exact moment, just makes it such a heartbreaking thing to see really.

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6Seasons-And-A-Movie t1_j78j3s6 wrote

The perfect image to summarize "being alone in a crowded room"

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ChiggaOG t1_j79je91 wrote

The feeling of being along in a crowded room. I know it well while being at a party. I feel out of place.

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freshgrilled t1_j7c8ujw wrote

She should have some drinks to celebrate

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6Seasons-And-A-Movie t1_j7cgyyw wrote

I can't tell if that's a joke or not lol

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freshgrilled t1_j7cuwh6 wrote

I kid, I kid. I know enough of her background (and sad end) to definitely say that she should have stayed away from the booze.

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cup_1337 t1_j7qoshy wrote

Tasteless and low effort “joke”

Do better.

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beerasap t1_j78qjz7 wrote

Why did she feel empty at this moment? What is the name of the documentary?

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thesaltwatersolution t1_j7aq0x6 wrote

I think the quote to attribute is: “It’s boring without drugs.”

Spend enough time with addicts and you quickly realize that life as it is won’t do. It’s too boring. When your brain is addicted to the very highs you can’t tolerate the middle for very long.

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ToxicPolarBear t1_j7bbczg wrote

That and drugs literally change the physical chemistry of your brain such that the highs obtained without them are much lower. You stop being able to feel anything except the craving for more drugs.

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GOOD_BONE_N_CALCIUM t1_j7bez4r wrote

Can confirm. Used to do a bunch of acid and other dumb shit.

The onky things that really get me going nkw is going fast on motorcycles and diving waaayyy too deep into work.

Im slowly working my way back to normality.

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Padhome t1_j7c2gb5 wrote

It happens, it can take years but your brain eventually resets back to a certain norm. My friend's brother was a heroin addict for years, thought he would never be happy again until 3 years later when he got a donut over at Dunkin' and said it was the first normal happy feeling he'd had in years. Simple pleasures will be there, you just have to wait for them.

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dolo_ran6er t1_j7d7ap9 wrote

Can also confirm. Spent a lot of my 20s hooked on opiates. Nothing else did it for me. I was a functional user...but i got pretty deep and did some things i thought id never do. Almost died several times, family was broken...couldn't figure my shit out. I'm thankful those days are behind me, but oddly I don't know if I'd change a thing. It's given my current life a lot of perspective. Learned a lot of hard lessons...but its made me a more appreciative person in the long run. 2016 was my last bender. Now I'm engaged, I'm an uncle, and I have a solid career. There was a time I doubted I'd make it to 30....im glad I did.

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expensivebutbroke t1_j7ekz61 wrote

Hey man, I know you aren’t, but you sound a lot like my brother-in-law, and he’s a totally awesome dude. Here’s a stranger rooting for you ❤️

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WeAreReaganYouth t1_j7d6no6 wrote

Well said. Unless you've been there it's hard to really imagine how joyless life can been when you're stuck in that loop. I remember a time where I don't think I smiled or laughed for about a year.

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vonvoltage t1_j7ca6dy wrote

I didn't start to feel really normal until about a month without alcohol and two months before I felt like my endorphins and gaba receptors among all the other things in my brain were getting used to it.

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360walkaway t1_j7bqfxi wrote

I've only done weed at the most (maybe only a dozen times total ever) and I'm like this. Something major happens and I'm like "ok whatever." Wtf is wrong with my head

I ask an honest question and get downvoted, what is wrong with people

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Shadowleg t1_j7bqy20 wrote

thats probably more to do with internet usage than weed. Its been 15 years since this clip

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360walkaway t1_j7br6vl wrote

What do you mean

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Onkel_B t1_j7buzr6 wrote

How do you define "something major"? Is it a positive or negative event? Does it effect you directly, or is it globally bad shit?

One of my cats died a few months ago and i was wrecked. I can watch /r/combatfootage all day and not give a fuck about actual people dying.

There is nothing wrong with you. Desenzitaition is a thing.

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minimorning t1_j7bxgbf wrote

Weed comes in handy as a de stress tool for me I actually don’t use it often enough

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JRsFancy t1_j7bt69r wrote

Nothing is wrong. Sounds like you just grew up some. I never do drugs, but cannot for the life of me why anyone gets anything out of awards shows on television. Emmy's, Tony's, Grammy's, Oscar's....just a glorified circle jerk which I'm not a part of.

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Scagh t1_j7acwoh wrote

At the state of drug addiction she was at this period, the only thing she could think of was her next dose.

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JusticeUmmmmm t1_j7a7lcw wrote

Depression probably

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zyygh t1_j7aojj9 wrote

I don't have depression (not that I know of, at least) but I do have some pretty depressed episodes sometimes.

In those moments I try to cheer myself up by looking at all the good things I have, and at the things I love. On a particularly bad day, it all just does nothing to me. As if I wouldn't feel a single thing if it all disappeared right then and there.

So yeah, I can very clearly imagine depression making a person feel empty during such a moment where they know they're supposed to feel happy.

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concatenated_string t1_j7b3kur wrote

There has been nothing so life-altering and perception-bending to me than going through severe anhedonia when psychotically depressed.

I could finally (and truly) understand why so many severely depressed people take their own life.

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The_Lonely_lurker t1_j7bm3zc wrote

How did you get through the anhedonia?

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concatenated_string t1_j7btoqq wrote

SSRI’s, cognitive behavioral therapy, learning how to do mindfulness meditation and a lot of time and working on my mental health. Took about ~2 years to recover. I will be in therapy for the rest of my life. I still struggle sometimes but I have the tools and support I need to reorient and recover when I start falling.

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The_Lonely_lurker t1_j7bvt6q wrote

Interesting to see SSRIs on the list. I know someone struggling with this and they saw it get worse when their SSRIs were increased. Glad to hear you're in a much better spot

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concatenated_string t1_j7bx9ja wrote

I was on SSRI’s to get through the major episode, about 1.5 years to stabilize and then I went off them in order to feel “normal” again.

Oddly enough, SSRI’s would make me rage the fuck out every now and again. Never in my life have I experienced rage the way that I did on SSRI’s.

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The_Lonely_lurker t1_j7byoj1 wrote

Interesting. The person I know has been on SSRIs for years and years (unmonitored as they stopped seeing psychiatrist but the prescription just kept getting renewed without checking in). They just recently had a major episode so they upped it but the anhedonia they have been feeling for years is getting worse. The good thing is therapy/psychiatrist is now a weekly thing. So hopefully as with you the SSRIs can move them through this episode but they can be adjusted downward in time to help with the lack of emotions

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Saroan7 t1_j7ahe5p wrote

Probably huge withdrawal depression. Couldn't cope without drugs. She has some fantastic works but couldn't understand the larger picture.

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SpeshellED t1_j7br5ao wrote

Wishing she was as good as all time greatest Grammy winner Beyonce ! /s NOT.

I can not name one thing Beyonce has done. Love Amy and Dolores . Wish they were still here.

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MrStickySpaz t1_j78qkxy wrote

Wait what is this about? What doc? How did she feel empty? Why?

This shot is so cinematic and you saying this makes me very intrigued to know more.

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StevenIndieSparkle t1_j7a894i wrote

I'm talking about Asif Kapadia's 2015 documentary Amy.

Amy Winehouse's story is long and honestly pretty tragic, but essentially it was during one of the numerous periods she was forced to go to rehab and stop taking drugs that she won this award. Awarded to her by her literal childhood idol, she would go on to say to a friend just offstage, "This is all so boring without drugs".

Really, I see this moment as the point of no return for Amy. In this moment she had it all - fame, respect, a path to become a legend - and it still wasn't half as good as when she was high.

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WeNeedToTalkAboutMe t1_j7akdic wrote

I mean, as soon as I heard "They try to make me go to rehab, I say no, no, no", I was about 90% sure her story wasn't going to end well.

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ericbyo t1_j7c1nso wrote

So the exact same story as millions of other addicts, but she can sing gud so she was worth a movie.

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skwudgeball t1_j7c4hxp wrote

Are you saying other addicts deserve movies? Failing to see any sort of point on this stupid fucking comment lmao

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Alaidia t1_j7cng9e wrote

How is that the “exact same” as millions of others? This is the case of a .01%er beginning to actually realize her potential and reaching the heights of an industry. There aren’t “millions of other addicts” who have reached her levels of fame, fortune, and most importantly, recognition. She got a documentary bc hers was a household name and as such her story could raise awareness of an issue affecting millions. Those affected millions’ issues and lives are not any less important than Amy’s, but they are far more obscure and thus less interesting to most of the world. There has to be something interesting about the person for people to watch a documentary about them.

So I guess a correct response to you would be, yes she could sing gud so she was indeed worth a movie. Ugh I can’t believe I spent time to respond to this asinine and ignorant comment, but I typed it out already in an overly caffeinated fugue.

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HardCounter t1_j792evh wrote

She looks like she's surprised and about to cry. Are you sure about her feeling empty?

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StevenIndieSparkle t1_j7a8dfz wrote

Moments later she would tell her close friend just offstage, "This is all so boring without drugs".

Maybe empty is not the perfect word, but I'd say it's pretty accurate given what we now know.

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Canvaverbalist t1_j7btbu2 wrote

Yeah it has probably more to do with dopamine immunity.

She felt it at that moment, and 2 seconds later it faded away because her brain is just so used to, not only it, but even bigger hits. The down would have been even worse by being reinforced by the fact that she was "supposed" to feel the high of fame/success, so you think about it not fulfilling you and it's just that even more depressing.

"Oh hey, this is nic-- and it's gone. Well that fucking sucks."

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Nemeris117 t1_j7cdyge wrote

Shes trying to act surprised in the clip. If you watch her face it just doesnt seem genuine. Could be the hindsight but she looks to me like shes opening a present that she didnt want/already knew about and is trying to appear "grateful"

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SirIanChesterton63 t1_j7a4jt4 wrote

As someone that suffers from severe depression myself, I can see it in her eyes. She does not want to be there. Very heartbreaking.

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kimgomes t1_j7a2pq8 wrote

her father was part of her downfall, asshole

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thelongernow t1_j7befna wrote

No idea why you’re being downvoted when it’s clear in the documentary her father is a complete piece of shit lol

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OathOfFeanor t1_j7bg9bn wrote

Did they reply to something about the father, which was later edited out of the parent comment?

At the moment it looks like they called someone an asshole for no apparent reason

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delicate-fn-flower t1_j7e09y7 wrote

I'd say her whole "support" system was her downfall. That poor girl had no one in her corner looking out for her, only themselves. She was lost, but no one she needed to care did.

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