I did too, and I totally understand what you're referring to. That's exactly why I believe so strongly that men should express themselves honestly without hiding behind platitudes that only feed in to negative stereotypes. Nothing is going to get better unless we stand up for our right to be who we really are.

I am not without sympathy for the people who are in a situation where it's dangerous to express themselves. But it's all the more reason why we should push back against the culture that forces them to do so, not embrace it.

I'm not blaming Old-Passenger-9065. You'll notice that all I said to him was that I'm glad it works for him and his wife. How he plays his game and manages his relationship is his own business.

But the OP of the thread was asking for advice, and my advice to him would be not to do what Old-Passenger is doing, but to embrace his enjoyment of playing female characters without shame and fear. I would advise him not to enter into a romantic relationship with someone that he can't be himself around, even if that means staying single for longer than he otherwise would have.

I don't say this to judge or shame you, Don_Bugen, but I think you would really benefit from talking to someone and working through the issues you have in this area. I've been there. I think if you were able to step back and look at this thread objectively, you would see that we're basically on the same side of this issue.